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Ah well....we have both mentioned it now.:-).....It transpires that there are a few threads over the years asking after the lady.

I'll delete if asked. I don't have anything important to add after all.

Susan with numbers


I also found that one .............. didn't want to mention there was apparently someone else asking the same questions about the same person many years ago!


especially in view of the very delicate information that was posted earlier on this thread.




sylvia

I deleted my original as I realised I was showing the name. There is a person who is researching the same person but the thread is from 2003

I have just been googling


............ and there really seems no point in anyone trying to find out anything, except just possibly in an old newspaper.

Olive has made a number of requests on GR since 2004 asking about her grandmother. No apparent useful information on any of them. All are showing on Google.


There are however several records from the National Archives ........... all those records are sealed

However, one can apply to view the records, and presumably the powers-that-be will base such a decision on who is asking

That HAS to be Olive ................. there is no easy way around it!

Here is the web site


http://nationalarchives.gov.uk/catalogue/displaycataloguedetails.asp?CATID=7953882&CATLN=6&accessmethod=5

close up all spaces


OR just google the name





It is now over to you, Olive.



Good luck




sylvia

Hi Olive,

What a barrage!!!!!!

May I make a suggestion and it is there for all others to suggest is that when you prepare to add a thread check first the beginning, which states PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING A REQUEST.

This is good to read and will help you with what is best to be posted and what is best left out.

Please do not be put off - all helpers intentions are good and for your benefit. Hang in there for a result, you will get one I am sure.

Best of luck,

Sappho

I am not going to get further involved in this but just to say that the example I cited above just goes to prove that in that case, the poster had not realised untill afterwards what effect it might have on his cousin - 'he' was happy to have the details given on here but then realised that it was not a good idea.

I agree with many others that these things are always best done by pm rather than put on display.

I have invited Olive to send me some details and will see if I can help

Dea x

Hi Dea

Your comments are accepted about your own experience. Some real horror stories in my family as well.

However I feel that people researching should be left alone in what they write about there own family. It is their call and judgement - other people should butt out. It can be intimidating to say the least. :- :-D :-D :-D

Hi Olive,

I agree with what others have said on this thread about posting such personal information.

I helped someone recently who was looking for details of a relative's suicide which took place quite a long time ago.

I found a newspaper report and posted the details, for which he was extremely grateful. It wasn't a particularly traumatic report, just giving the facts.

He then sent me a pm saying that he had just realised that his cousin, who was, I think, more closely related to the deceased, would be extremely upset if he were to read the details on here and so could I delete them from the thread so that he could pass on the information personally. - This, I did.

This is an example of how things, quite innocently posted on here can have a very disturbing effect on other people's lives and so is the reason why everyone was giving this advice.

Anyway - I do have access to several newspapers and so if you want me to take a look for you to see if I can find anything, I would be happy to do so.

If so, please send me the details by pm and I will have a look around.

Best wishes,

Dea x

Olive

I'm sorry that you have taken things the way you have ............

........... it was all sincerely done, mainly because we all know that this site is not a safe site, and that information posted on here can, and does, appear on Google within minutes.

We're all very conscious of the effect that there can be on people who see the name of a family member on Google, and then find out what has been alleged for them.


It's OK if everyone in the family knows about the "happening", whatever it might be ......... bigamy, child out of wedlock, homosexuality, assault, etc .......

........ but not if they either do not know, or do not want others to know.


I think you have also mis-read the postings on here ................ most have been extremely supportive of each other, and helpful and constructive to you.


Susanne is the only one who has taken people to task, and been extremely rude to, and about, every other poster on here. This, unfortunately, is not the first time she has done this.


Like Jan and the others ............... I do not believe that I should be able to post everything, good or bad, about my family or OH's family on GR, and be damned to every other member of my family. I DO know things that others do not know, but I'm holding those secrets to myself, not allowing them to get onto the world wide web.



Having said all that ................ there are ways and means for you to get help on this site, doing most of it through the internal mailing system (known as the personal message, or pm)




May I suggest that you follow some of the information already given to you, and see what you can find by checking old newspapers (think the area where your grandmother lived, and contact the local library or Local Archives), and the other sites.

Then come back and ask a circumspect question on the open site.


No-one is refusing to help you ................... we just do not want to provide information on the open thread.




Good luck





sylvia

So Susanne

Why do GR have an RR button? Its to help ensure that THE GR rules are not contravened. And its all OK while 'us' members use our subs to help others but dare we have an opinion............cripes....how dare we

I see there has been RRing since you came online ;-)

Olive, you could still get help from members by asking a vauge question about your grandmother and asking members to PM you,


Edit: I found your name.address and phone number....'ll not post it though! Susanne F

It's all a matter of balance though Susanne. You say i can write what I like about my own family. Can I? I do not think so.
For example, if I knew a relative was a criminal in the past, but his children did not know, does that give me the right to make it public for all to see? In your world perhaps, but not mine.
I have posted unwisely myself now & again, and only when others point it out do you realise it wasn't a good idea. We are so keen to follow our history it is easy to get a bit carried away sometimes.
Jan

Last post...

Gins..sorry - have a wine in commiseration!

MC - "speak" Monday after the post has arrived :-)

Olive - sorry. Nobody was attacking you. We have all tried with constructive advice. Perhaps we need to agree to disagree.

Susanne..nobody tells others what to do or not to do. We all try to be constructive within GR rules. What I tried to say earlier is that not all "family" are into this; not all "family" are aware of the secrets that may be revealed. And they may not want to know. What Olive perceives as "open knowledge" isn't. There may be people in her family that she is not aware of who really do not know about this and would be alarmed by it.

Jude :-)

Olive, having read back objectively through the posts no-one has attacked you, people have by and large given you constructive advice. If you feel that being disagreed with is being attacked then so be it.

Any criticism was directed towards those who come in with worthless opinions and no constructive advice, namely Susanne (and it's not the first time she's done that). We most certainly were not attacking each other - are you choosing to ignore the posts of support given to each other and the friendly banter?

I just knew if I opened my mouth I'd get a rush of comments. The point of what I said seems to have got lost in the heat of exchange.

There are many people who help others on this site - marvelous - many mysteries solved.

You either help or you don't - freedom of choice.

What I take great exception to is those that tell others what to do. What they should or should not do even down to making comments about what they write even about their own family. It comes across as very scarey and intimidating. Family research is about history and secrets - tough if anybody doesn't like it.

carry on everybody :-D

I meant by a waste of time because i asked for help, you did not agree with what i wrote which as you all said you have your own opinions which is fair enough but then you have attacked me because i have an opinion, and then if you read back through all the post they are nearly all just attacking each other, thanks to everyone.

Ha ha Gins....0-0 eh????? I've switched from footie to cricket now though after Glamorgan capitulated (again) today) I really don't know why!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jan you were right.

Jill good on you.

We are part of team that GR should be proud of..all amateurs with a shared passion. I have benefited so much since I started posting both for me and from helping others :-)

I did wonder if you were watching the match Gins.

Looks pretty boring to me.

I haven't been to Sheff U's ground for years and years. And never been to Huddersfield ever.

Looks like another penalty shoot out but still twelve minutes for that to change.

I'll pick you up and we'll head to Judes. It's not good for her to drink all that wine by herself. We should be good GR friends and help her with it ;-)

xJ

Hi Jan, and Marie and Gems and Jude,

I too say thanks because I was unsure about posting what I thought.

True it's only sticks and stones and I'm not going to be losing sleep over any of this but I wasn't about to ignore the offensive comments aimed at you, me and others on here. I hoped that I had expressed myself well and strongly without being guilty of becoming as abusive as those to whom my comments were directed. I'm glad I did.

Just Jill

Jude....did you mention wine :-D


Pour me a glass, I'll be over in a tick.....I need one, Im watching the Sheffield Utd match at Wembley :-0 :-0 :-0

Have just come back for a look. I couldn't care less what Susanne thinks, but must admit I was a little upset by Olive's reaction as I hoped I had behaved like a grownup by explaining what I did and why - I didn't have to tell anyone it was me after all! And I never meant to cause offence. But you can't win 'em all.

If people disagree - which is their right - there is still no need to be offensive. And Genes has the last say when all is said and done.

Other members' views that it was the right thing to do - or at least that I have a right to do it without being dealt abuse - are very reassuring, Thank you for that folks.

Jan