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Hi Betty Boo and Anne, I felt a pang of guilt when I read the thread. I am always polite and I always thank people, but sometimes I am alittle impatient, particularly when I'm doing a thread. I think some of us sometimes forget the effort and time some people put into looking up for others. Whilst I appreciate people finding census look ups and the like, sometimes I feel quite insecure when certain members question why/what exactly I am looking for, this sort of makes me doubt my thread and then I delete it. I won't name name's but on my first message someone asked why I was doing this. I've never been confident asking for help to this person since. Sometimes some people seem to be just as hostile as some are ignorant. I hope I didn't offend anybody. Kirsten

Kirsten thank you for your message. When I did your look-ups you certainly were not impatient! You always came back with a 'thank you'. Anne

Hi Kirsten Gold, Very Nice message to Anne you added to my thread. I am not sure if Anne will see it though, she may not come back on to my thread to read it. Maybe you can also add it to her thread she has on at the moment for lookups. Betty

Betty I did get your message, thank you. I really do think that people who ask for look-ups have no idea how much time is involved in each one I do. Anne

Hi Horacia, Thats all people ask for on here, that a bit of time and consideration, a thank you, is all that is needed. I would never request a lookup of any kind with thanking the person who has spent time doing it for me. Betty

Hello, I am guilty of being impatient, as I am sure some of us are, so I would like to apologise for that. If anyone has been annoyed by my deleting I am really sorry. Anne, I've thanked you before and I'll thank you again. You are a gem to GR and if it weren't for you I would'nt have got as much info as I have. Thank You. Kirsten

Hi Anne, I know you as Anne from Scotland, I know you do a lot of lookups for people and a great many of them appreciate what you have done for them including myself. I noticed you too were upset by a pm someone sent you, in fact I sent you a wee note on your thread saying how sorry I was that someone had upset you by doing this. (hope you got it) Betty

I belong on another genealogy forum and yesterday we had a Live Q & A Session with a military expert. He was absolutely brilliant but when I look at the threads of the 58 questions he answered - there are quite a few where the questioner didn't even thank him. Bad manners in my view! Civility costs nothing but buys EVERYTHING! Cheers, Horatia

Betty I do look-ups on this site. As well as the requests I get on my thread, I get hundreds by PM. I spend many hours per day between PMs and my thread. It is very time consuming but I enjoy helping fellow researchers. It would be nice if people who ask for look-ups would just be a little patient. Anne ROSALYN BARCLAY here is the look-up you mentioned earlier on this thread which you said you hadn't got a reply to yet. I posted it yesterday! ROSALYN BARCLAY sorry no match for the marriage. there is one match the birth but probably too early to be yours. Anne HAMILTON, Joan Anderson Christening Gender: Female Birth Date: 22 Apr 1849 Birthplace: , Glasgow, Lanark, Scotland Recorded in: Glasgow, Lanarkshire, Scotland Father: James HAMILTON Mother: Agnes HEXTON Source: FHL Film 102923 + Dates: 1832 - 1856

As well as the 'URGENT' postings that seem to lose interest if they don't get an instant response (I mean those who give up after 10 minutes) I'm a bit cross about people who delete a request when it hasn't been responded to after a couple of hours, but then post it again a day or so later. I'm annoyed about this because I was in a position to help with one, but it meant trawling the 1841 census (not name indexed) & by the time I'd found the info she'd deleted the thread. I didn't post 'hang on I'm looking' as I didn't want to get her hopes up if I couldn't find them. I was so cross I didn't respond when she asked for exactly the same look-up the next day. That one also disappeared. And its not just one person whos done this recently, some names just seem to stick in the memory...

It was on a BRITISH iSLES VITAL INDEX thread-not one of yours, Rosalyn

Hi Roalyn, I tried to find your question for a lookup in January but it wont go back that far, I can only think that whatever you were asking for nobody could do at the time. Why not try again, ask for another lookup. Betty

I`ve waited since 26th Jan for a reply to a lookup -think it was missed out! Rosalyn

Dunno, Betty. The majority of people are lovely, but there is always a small rump of people, usually the ones who are 'desparate', who don't come back. Having done some look ups at Kew, most people said thank you, even if I had been unable to find anything, one or two I pm'd, in case they didn't understand how the boards worked, but a couple of regular users haven't come back in any way whatsoever. Most people have very little idea of the time and/or expense involved in look-ups. Most of us are not very good at setting out what we want why we want it where we've looked I don't wish to stop any first request, but it is sensible to spend a bit of time typing the request and re-reading it before you post and then doing that post when you know you can answer additional questions if necessary.

Hi Jess, Thats true I always wait until I know I am going to be here if any one does reply to my request. The other week I did request a lookup and had to say sorry I am a bit slow at typing a reply to thank you. They all said well at least you stayed with us, many people don't Betty

I dont usually respond to those that say ''off to school now'' i respond when i know they have returned. I liken it to switching on the hairdryer, then going to have a shower. Why doit if you are not ready /have time?

Hi Jess, This is what I am takling about, I know some people post request for lookup and simply add a message maybe saying, have to go off now taking kids to school or off to bed now, off to work etc. At least with this you know they are away, but when the say URGENT or PLEASE HELP ME, they should at least hang around for any reply's. Betty

it only bugs me when they start by saying DESPERATE or URGENT ...and then never bother to look agian...and if they do , then they dont acknowledge. NO I dont want huimble thanks or accolades, just an acknowledgement that what was found was right and what was wanted I carried on with Beths because she seemed so keen AND because i got a certain ammount of satisfaction from finding it. (actually in that case Bucket loads because it was a bugger!< scuse me!) jess x

Hi Jess YOU GO FOR IT GIRL. Betty

Hi Lunar, I do understand what you are saying that some people have to go for whatever the reason but if you check some of the request a few days ago still haven't responded. It may just be a few but as Jess said when you do get someone like this it must bother people a lot. Betty