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I am GILLIAN ESMEE' KIRBY (nee Waters, Farnan) and I am looking for my son BRIAN FRANCIS FARNAN whom I gave up for adoption. Brian was born in Lewisham Hospital, London, SE13 on the 19th OCTOBER 1968. I believe that he was renamed GARY and his adoptive parents could have had the surname of either TAYLOR or CARTER. I also believe that his adoptive father worked for the British Broadcasting Company and that both he and his wife were childless at the time of the adoption. At the time of my pregnancy I was living at 304, Devonshire Road, Forest Hill, London, SE23 and the adoption was arranged with the next door neighbours at 302 Devonshire Road. I knew nothing about these arrangements until after the birth and this is where the names TAYLOR or CARTER come from. Brian was born premature and weighed only 4lb.4oz at birth. As a consequence, he was taken to the Special Care Baby Unit and put into an incubator and I was not allowed to even hold him. It was then found that he had jaundice and I was asked to sign a document to allow him to have a blood transfusion, which went ahead successfully. All that I was allowed to do was to watch him through a window of the SCBU and pray that he would go from strength to strength and have a happy and full life with his adoptive family. I was heartbroken at having to let my son go and, because when I watched him, I couldn't believe just how much he looked like a miniture replica of myself, I convinced myself that when he was old enough, he would come and find me. This adoption was actully arranged by my parents and I sadly had no say in the matter. The adoptive father did actually come to see me whilst I was still an inpatient at the hospital and he promised me faithfully that he would pass on to my son a silver cross and chain from me and explain my situation when he felt he was old enough to understand. If any of this information rings any bells with anyone out there, I would be so very grateful for any information as to my son's whereabouts. All that I want to know is that he is healthy, happy and contented and that he knows that I have spent my life, since his birth, thinking and praying for him to have all those things that I wasen't in a position to provide for him at the time. I am aware that, as the birth Mother, I am unable to infringe into his life in any way, but I just want my son to know that, if it was his wish to have contact with me, I would be so very happy to hear from him.