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All us that do look ups are not miracle workers we do it to help you please response by pressing the reply button and please say thank you + please if you need a look up it goes a long way sorry if i upset anyone on this site Junex

Morning June, Its a simple request to remind people of the good work, that everyone does, a please and thank you goes a long way. Perhaps this could be nudged now and again as a gentle reminder. I added to a thread last night,praising you for all the info you had found for someone. Reg,Mary,Bernice,so many good people give their time, Im sure new members do not realise it is the members who do the look ups,and not GR. The information that is given freely,has helped so many to build their family tree. A big big sign of appreciation, and thanks to you all. Trish xx

Hi June Yes it can be annoying when someone doesn't say please or thank you but the choice is yours if you want to help. If someone hasn't say please then you have the choice to do the lookup. I'm just fed up feeling that the message yous are putting out is if you are not eternally grateful you won't get help, which is not true. Julie

I don't think anyone expects eternal gratitude just good manners. Threads like this are useful for new members, I would have thought. Plus those whose bad manners mean they no longer get help may understand why if they read it. I virtually stopped helping on tips and records ages ago because it was making me grumpy. I admire those who carry on in the face of the attitude of a minority of users. Gwynne

Im afraid I now add names to a list when I dont see a bit of common courtesy - the list added a couple this week. They wont be receiving my help again! And if an initial request doesnt even have please in the text - well, Im just astounded that anyone bothers to reply to someone like that. I spent a long time last week looking for someones family right back to 1841 - it actually made me late for an appointment. Others were also checking on bmds at the same time. I entered the details, apparently they didnt even look at them properly and/or discounted them, as a couple of hours later the same request was posted and another lot of kind souls gave the same info. I know the GR team remove a lot of the threads that have a moan like this - the fact is its the members who do these look ups that are the biggest success of this site, without them it would be just a list of names.

Heather, Are you serious? Do GR really remove threads which point out 'how to' ettiquete to new people? Is so, they're daft - as you say, they wouldn't have much of a site without having such helpful member. Everyone would soon go elsewhere!! (Hmmmm!) 'Bee' (Used to be Bx, changed my monicker.)

Hi June Hear Hear!!! Lets hope some of the guilty ones read this thread,but I suppose that is too much to hope for. I noticed that you provided a great deal of info to someone on a thread and virtually gave her the entire history of her family back to pre 1841.Lucky girl!!! She is on my 'black list' as a multiple requester and a non acknowledger,does not appear to have done any research herself. Incidentally I have no wish that people are 'eternally grateful' to me for finding lost rellies,but what I do expect is that they at least have the courtesy to say a simple 'thank you'. If we stopped doing lookups where would all the freeloaders get their info?????I bet they would not be prepared to pay for it. Mary

On the front page of the Records Office Board there's now a notice that says: 'Please note: members who do lookups do so out of a desire to help and are not paid or endorsed by GR.' Don't know how long it's been there.

Hello june I take your point about people not responding and saying thanks for the help that they ask for. I look for requests from people when im able to help, and because i want to, i also ask if im stuck on something, and have always been amazed at the lengths people on here go to to help and always say thankyou. but yesterday my PC went caputt! and spent all day and most of today trying to sort it, luckily i hadnt asked for a look up or anything, but its worth bearing in mind that these things do happen and its not that some people are not gratefull or anything could be what happened to me. Sharmala.

Sharmala, Everyone understands that there can be computer problems that stop someone getting on to the site, or work, or whatever. However, in these cases, most people, like you, find their threads and say 'Sorry for being so long, but ......'. I also notice that more and more people are saying 'Sorry, will not be back for some time, have to go to work, or an appointment, or .....'. That is also very helpful, 'cos I then know that any question I might have to help the search will not be answered immediately. It's when days and days go by and there is NO response at all that I feel like giving it all away!

I don't want people to be 'eternally grateful' .......... but I would like an acknowledgement that they have read what has been posted in response to their query. Far too often, there is absolutely no response other than the initial request ............................ or as happened late last week with Heather and I (same thread!!) ..................... 'I had all that already'!! Huh??? So why not tell us what she knew already so we wouldn't waste time? As Heather says, this person then put up another thread asking for the information, and 3 other people searched ....... and posted all the information that we had already provided! In the end, there were THREE threads all basically asking the same question ........................ and now, 3 days later, there has still been no posting from that person other than a 'Can anyone else help?'

June you havent upset me I know that you are only trying to help but some people have no manners. Carol

See that many of you have black list put these people name on there. I don't know why you have to keep on moaning about it. If there is someone on your black list and i do a look up for them and they don't say thank you then thats my problem

RE: Teaching people manners - I recall an old expression - 'You can take a horse to water, but you can't make it drink'. Perhaps there are just one or two too many horses around! Bee.

To Julie OK so you are happy to do look ups for the ignorant and rude,that is your business,but there are many of us on these boards who like to retain a few of the 'old fashioned values' that we have been taught by our parents and others and that is our business also. We are all aware that times have changed (and in the opinion of many of us who contribute to these boards,not for the better). Politeness and saying thank you when someone does you a good turn surely costs nothing except a few seconds of your time. Respect and courtesy to others now seems to be a thing of the past,particularly among the younger generation and I am sure that the past generations for whom we are searching would be horrified if they could see the way in which some of their descendants behave. Mary

Those of us who endeavour to help do so because we get pleasure out of doing so. That doesn't mean that we wouldn't like to be appreciated just a little............we don't ask for 'eternal' gratitude, merely a simple acknowledgement that the effort we have put into looking is not entirely wasted. Reg

If you care to see my first reply i said Yes it can be annoying when someone doesn't say please or thank you but the choice is yours if you want to help. All im saying is do you have to keep going on & on about it. you have the choice to help or not. And Joan... i can reply to any thread i like so i have a different opinion to you, am i not allowed to express it ?? Julie PS I am not a new person just starting to help with look up, i have not that long changed my name, but i must just say in all the lookups i have done i have never not had some-one say thank you to me. So maybe the people yous are helping are reading threads like these

I'm not sure that a timely reminder is 'going on and on'. New members are joining all the time and, in the absence of a board etiquette message from GR, threads such as this can be helpful. No one can dictate to anyone what to post, surely? June is entitled to post this thread just as Julie is entitled to respond, as are the rest of us. Gwynne

ok. im fairly new to looking at the records section of genesreunited but ihave been a member for about 18 months now. i obviously didn't realise what i was missing out on. i have to say, i have used it a fair bit since i found out. when i read stuff like this, it is a help to me because i know that i have to be very polite. however, i see you calling people who dont say please or thank you ignorant and rude. i am sat here thinking to myself '!! What if i accidentaly dont say please or thankyou if im doing genealogy in a rush whilst doing something else at the same time. am i going to be put on the 'black list' and never get help again??' i dont think it is right to give newish people this impression so guys i think its time you all stopped arguing and we just hadd the odd reminder for new people that they need to be polite otherwise they will not receive help. sorry if im poking my nose in a bit . :) ross fletcher

Ross I'm not sure how you can 'accidentally' fail to say 'thank you'. If you read the replies, it surely should be second nature just to click on 'add reply' to let people know you have seen what they have posted. Forgetting to come back to the board is another matter entirely, but, again, if you have asked for help, I would have thought you wanted the info, and would be checking anxiously for feedback. I know I wouldn't ask for some info if I wasn't interested in getting it............lol! Reg