Genealogy Chat

On my paternal side there looks as if there may be a genetically passed on problem, for instance:-

(1)
Grand fathers brother was born in 1875, never married, lived at home. No indication on the 1881/91/1901 census that there was a "problem" and his occupation is recorded as "Bakers assistant" so maybe he did not have a disability but was gay!!

(2)
Grandfathers daughter, my aunt, had a daughter born in 1935 that only reached the mental age of 8

(3)
Grandfathers son, my uncle, born in 1922, never married and was gay.

(4)
Grandfathers granddaughter, my cousin, had a son, born in 1951, who only reached the mental age of 9-10

(5)
Grandfathers grandson, my cousin, had a son born in 1961, who has never married and still lives at home (I have never met this cousin)...is there a problem, or maybe he is gay?????

I have 4 possible disabilities, or...2 disabilities and 2 possible gays. One part of me does not want to delve further, particularly with the one born in 1961, but how should I record the fact that 3 males, with no obvious reasons, never married???

Kathlyn

Maybe they never found the right girl for them.
I have a 35 year old, a 28 year old and a 26 year old not married or going with anyone, have had girl/boyfriends but no sign of marraige yet.
Betty.

I have a 32 year old son still at home and no signs of him getting married. He prefers to spend his money on cars and I make life too comfortable for him to want to move out.

I think he would be upset if someone suggested that there was anything wrong with him. He holds down a responsible full time job and a part time business in his spare time.

Kath. x

why record anything other than they never married . serves no purpose to record any reason why not !!

Quite often a son or daughter would remain living with the parents to support them in their old age - and I have quite a few that did that, more often than not marrying after the last parent had died.

And it sounds a bit like you might be ashamed about having gay or disabled ancestors. I agree with Shirley - why record anything other than they never married, if that is all you know. But record things that you do know - sometimes illnesses and disabilities can be interesting to know about.

I dont think you can say that about them. Lots of girls never married either - they arent all lesbians Im sure.

Often young people couldnt earn enough to support a family and unlike today, they didnt consider just shacking up with someone. There was no DSS to cover their rent or their kids food/clothes.

And on top of that, they were more responsible to their family - if dad died they would probably stay at home to look after mum - not just go off to do their own thing.

I dont think baker's assistants have a reputation for being gay do they?

I am quite gobsmacked that you can decide that about any of them.

I don't honestly think you can refer to gay as being a problem....plus an awful lot of gay people did marry in order to conform to family expectations. Perhaps they just didn't want to get married, not unheard of.

Re the mental disability who exactly made these observations?

Edit: Sorry the last sentence seemed a bit harsh. I ask because many mental disabilities which are treatable now were misdiagnosed before. We have all seen the disparaging way those who were mentally challenged, in some way, were labelled.

Don't forget that in early days, ie early 1920s and before, sons and daughters did not leave home when they reached the age of 21 or so ..... it was expected that they would stay at home and take care of their parents. In fact, one child was often "designated" to be the one to care for the parents until the last parent died ........... and that was whether they wanted to do it or not.


I am horrified that you would even consider that being gay would be a reason for not marrying, and that you seemingly consider it a "disablity".


In all truth ....... in those days, a "gay" person WOULD often marry to conceal the fact because it was considered then as a disgrace and "unnatural".

There were many very unhappy marriages as a result!!



Fortunately, we are much better educated these days .......... I hope!



sylvia

In fact I am finding that more and more people arent marrying young or at all now - and I dont mean those who have the trappings of marriage like half a dozen kids but cant be bothered to make it legal - I mean those with higher education and aspirations tend to want to travel and experience as much of the world as they can before they settle down.

I've got one family living in Tanfield, County Durham, where the whole family has an entry in the disabilities column of the census. In their case, their disability was they were all born in Lancashire, so I suppose they were unable to communicate with anyone outside the family.

Many of my cousins over 25 are not married.
Some are in stable relationship's Though.
Some with children.

mgnv

I like that, lol.

Kath. x