Genealogy Chat

Wow I didn't realise there were so many financial implications in Chinese culture. Ever likely no-one knows anything , must be heartbreaking to want to find your family but be unable to due to cultural differences over financial expectations.

I hope you do manage to find something. Maybe your husband could learn chinese at some point, that'd be really getting into his heritage!

Ah Debdob, will try those when I have more than a few seconds to spare! The problem with researching is that I don't even have solid details on ONE deceased relative yet!!!!
H's parents came here from Singapore 45 years ago, and their parents had come to Singapore originally from mainland China (one fleeing opium/gambling debts!!!!!).
Though h's parents have just made their first ever visit to China, sadly they did not feel like they could go and find all their extended family out there...... as such would be the expectations on them afterwards to send regular finances etc and even sponsor hoards of relatives children to come to the UK to study etc. Though they would have liked to have seen where their parents etc came from, they just know the culture so well and knew the endless 'needs' that would follow such a trip. Sad.

I would LOVE to go!!!! but again culture pressures complicate things.... my poor h, who was born and brought up in Wales, obviously looks pure chinese, so whenever we go out to Asia he feels so awkward as people come and talk to him in chinese (which he does not know), and expect him to know all the finer points of the cultural do's and don'ts which are MASSIVE in regard to rsepecting elders etc. ie..... he just feels uncomfortable, as people mistake him for being Chinese Chinese...... and in reality he feels as alien there as I do........ (but I can go there and have no 'expectations' on me!)

Don't know if this is any good to you but i have found...
Jia pu known as Zupu, a record of a clans history, lineage or genealogy.
try China Genweb or China genealogy forum jut google these and it should come up.
Also ive seen Western - Chinese calender converter, a resource for fuguring out timelines.
I don't know how good this maybe to you but it maybe worth a shot.

Very, Very interesting....
Do the Chinese keep records like we do, ie register birth death and marriages etc.
Are your h parents and relatives originally from China, i mean born over there?
Would there be any way you could contact through a Chinese organisation if there is one.
Wishing you all the luck in the world

It is interesting isn't it.... One of the most facinating facts about birthdays was to learn you could be aged 2 at just a few days old. That is because the chinese count the gestation as a year..... meaning you are 1 when you are born..... but if that falls just before chinese new year, then you will turn 2 with everyone else getting a year older!!!!!

I won't give up, but right now seem daunted, especially as there does seem to be a 'shyness' around the age thing. I mean, my own h would not be able to tell you how old his own parents are...... because it is never talked about or celebrated. So I feel almost intrusive trying to pin them down to dob details etc!....... as for asking 'uncle number 4,697' his dob.......!!!!!!?????!!!!!!!

Liz

Second that Chica!

I don't think I've come across a post that appears so difficult.

Can you not contact the siblings that are still alive to see what info they know? Even if it's just their dates of birth, it's a start.

I hope someone on here will be able to point you in the right direction, but don't give up :D

Morning Liz,
How interesting to read your post. Ánd we think we have it hard!
I can´t help you I´m afraid, except to say, please stay with it, there will be info out there, and sometimes amazing things happen when we start searching. Good luck, don´t give up.
Chica x

My h is british chinese, and I have been attempting to get information about his ancestors........ to be precise, even just his relative next of kin eg grandparents...................what a nightmare!!!!

Firstly, birthdays are not significant (traditionally all chinese get a year older at chinese new year each year, so individual birthdays are not celebrated/remembered).

Secondly, surnames are sometimes at the front of the name, and sometimes at the back.

Thirdly, they had so many children (h's father is one of 17 and his mum one of 12), that even remembering their own childrens or siblings details are hard.

Fourthly, in a family, anyone older than you is only refered to by general respect terms eg, 2nd sister........ or 5th brother......... or fathers uncle etc. Genuinely h's mother cannot remember names of her older siblings (even those alive) as, if they are one of the eldest of the 12, everyone uses the respect term, not the actual name.

Also, even if they know the name, they don't necessarily know the 'English spelling' of the name.... just the chinese characters.....

I could go on...... his mum and dad both had siblings 'given away' (usually because they were 'yet another girl').

Conclusion....... is this a non-starter? shall I just forget it? Has anyone else attempted to do a chinese family tree?

Liz