Genealogy Chat

Thankyou everyone for your support - I will carry on trying to find her

I know if it was the other way round I would want her to get in touch

Kind Regards
Wendy

I cannot beleive that somebody has made the decision for your sister it beggars belief.
My mum found out at the start of the year that her birth mum had also given up another baby for adoption 6 years before by mum was born in 1932 and they met up in January and it is as if they have know each other all their life. I have to admit when I started looking into my mum's real family she was apprehensive but I think it is becasue she felt that she was betraying the person that she had called mum all her life but as I found out more and more info she was keen to discover what I was finding out and had no hesitation atall in meeting up with her brother or with her dead sisters children. In fact she admitted last week that she wished that he stayed nearer so that they could have a proper brother /sister reletionship
Keep trying Wendy and I wish you all the best

Jackie

Thankyou Shimms

That is amazing - so obviously meant to be - i am really pleased for you
I will definitely keep trying

Regards
Wendy

Thankyou Tracey

My half sister is 48 so perhaps if she knew about me she might want to make contact. I would respect her wishes of course if it was her decision not to but it is making that initial contact that I am struggling with.
Everyone has been supportive so I will keep trying.

Regards
Wendy

Hi Wendy

I discovered that I had quite a few other siblings from my BM's first marriage, twas quite a shock. They had no idea I existed, one is supposed to be deceased yet no-one can find any trace of her.

Last year (less than a year ago), I found my of my half-sisters through GR. We we pm'ing, then suddenly I foundmyself saying, I think you're my sis, gave my home tel number and with that the phone rang. We've met and tis as though we've known each other all our lives.

Go for it, never give. I had, I'd given up membership of both here and Ancestry when the hotmatch appeared just as I had literally given up. Not sure what made me rejoin, just glad I did.

Good luck hun

xxx Shimms xxx

My half-sister was told by her mother not to attempt to trace me as "it would upset me". Fortunately we both traced each other and were delighted to meet up eventually.

The trick is to proceed with sensitivity and give the actual person space to make their own decision rather than have it made up for them by a family member convinced they have their best interests at heart. A lot also depends on the persons age. If they are still in their formative years or are possibly a student approaching exam time, then it is probably wise to delay making contact immediately.

Hi Misty

No unfortunately not - I think she is married and may even be living in America.
My father seems to have been a black sheep - my mother even refused to mention his name and it has taken me at least 5 yrs to find his birth cert as the info on my parents marriage cert was incorrect and his name was mispelt.Having come this far though I do not want to give up

Regards
Wendy

Hi Wendy,

I found my half Brother through this site, after 50 yrs of not knowing about him and we (thank goodness) have had a happy ending....

Do you know your sisters name (as it is now) and where she lives?

If I were you I would ( I do go at thing's rather like a bull in a china shop) write to her, tell her you are curious, for both yourself and your children. That you have no desire to intrude in her life but any info she has on your Father would be most welcome.

This way at least, if you get no reply, she has had the chance to make her own mind up!

Good Luck whatever you decide to do

Misty x

Thankyou Margaret

Did they always know about you ?

A half sibling is still a close relationship is not it ? I would just like to know a little bit about her - were our lives similar etc
I have 2 sons who have never known their grandfather so it would be nice for them too

Regards
Wendy

Thankyou Karen

I can only hope that the person I contacted decides to discuss it with my half sister. I am sure I must have been a shock to the family but as I am the elder by 11 years they might have suspected that my father had another child as he had been married before

Regards
Wendy

Hi Wendy I have just been to my half brothers funeral same father and was most upset by one of his children because I was called his step sister which implies not a blood relation. I had 2 half siters as well and now only have 1 half sister left but we have always got on very well

Margaret

Thankyou Mary

I really wanted to keep trying but my contact did not answer my e-mail after the initial response - and I did not want to come across as a stalker

I will leave it a while and see what happens but fingers crossed

Wendy

Hi Wendy

Just my opinion, for what it's worth :-)

A member of your half sister's family has said that "she probably would not want to know" - which of course may well be true. BUT, they may also be wrong......unless they happen to be mind readers?! ;-)

Sometimes people don't want to know initially, then change their mind.

Sometimes they do want to know initially, and then change their mind.

Unless you find out directly from your half sister how she feels about it, you will never know will you?

Best of luck in whatever choice you make.

Mary

Hi
I recentl found out that I had a half sister and traced her through Genes ( a member of her family ) to be told that she probably would not want to know. Has anyone else been in this situation ?
Do I give up ? Being an only child all these years and with no contact with that side of the family I was delighted to learn about her.

Wendy