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Grrrrrr - I am getting old and bad-tempered

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TinaTheCheshirePussyCat

TinaTheCheshirePussyCat Report 5 Mar 2009 17:26

Thank you. I feel a bit better now. It is good to know that other people feel as I do. My family tell me I do not suffer fools gladly! Personally, I think that I am the epitome of patience and understanding!

Jonesey - actually I never open my tree either. Technically it is my children's tree and has not only my line but also my husbands line. Once I have established that there is a connection with someone, I offer them a report (which has to be emailed as an attachment) detailing all I know about the bit of my tree in which they are interested, including my source and research notes, down to grandparent level. I never send details of anyone living, or their parents (even if they are dead), as you never know where this information is going to end up and personally, I would be quite upset to find my long-dead father's details plastered all over the internet. I tend to assume that other people will feel likewise. It never ceases to amaze me how much information people are willing to pass to total strangers.

Tina

Madmeg

Madmeg Report 5 Mar 2009 17:19

Tina

I usually reply that the people in my tree would seem to have no connection with his/hers and I would therefore prefer not to open it.

Jonesey, living relatives either shouldn't be on the tree at all, or at least should be hidden.

Margaret

Sue C

Sue C Report 5 Mar 2009 17:11

Far from being impolite, I think it was very polite of you to write back to him having previously explained that there was no connection.

I am afraid to say that I would have been far more impolite, and would have ignored the request.

AnnCardiff

AnnCardiff Report 5 Mar 2009 17:07

pass!!!!

Researching:
Breakspears of Berkshire and Cardiff, Williams and Harman of Whitchurch, Melingriffith &Tongwynlais,Glamorgan WE HAVE NO CONNECTION Do not share your tree with me

TinaTheCheshirePussyCat

TinaTheCheshirePussyCat Report 5 Mar 2009 16:54

I had a message a few days ago from someone who thought we might have a mutual ancestor. The name was one quite common in that area. He opened his tree to me, from which I was able to see that his ancestor was not mine. I wrote and told him so, explaining why.

Today I have a request from him to open my tree. WHY? I have written back saying No. I find it very hard to do this without feeling that I am being impolite, which I have no wish to be.

How do other people say no (whilst inwardly seething), and at the same time project themselves as kindly and caring people - or is it impossible!

Tina