Genealogy Chat

Just started the family tree of my daughter's husband to be, and it has become blatantly obvious that mistakes can be made if you don't have family back-up re the last 100 years.

Talk to family members, AND DO IT NOW, including the elderly and those with dementia - amazing what they produce. One relative, with dementia (and I am an expert on relatives with dementia now) slipped out the fact that "our Albert came from Glastonbury". No, we all thought, she is potty. Albert did, in fact, come from Glastonbury. Given that the family lived in Sheffield, that was not a connection I would ever had made.

His dad was Fred. Eh, I had him down as Albert. No, he was definitely Fred, says granny. Albert was his younger brother who married Elsie first and died, so she married Fred afterwards. But I thought Fred had married Edith. Oh, yes, he did, but she was already married so the marriage was invalid. So who were the parents of Edna? Oh they were were Fred and Edith. Edith lived round the corner and kept popping in to see if Edna was okay, she was a good woman really.

Oh, and by they way you did know that Fred was adopted, didn't you?

You don't get that off Ancestry.

Margaret

Unfortunately I just have a couple of eldery aunts and my dad left now, however one aunt who lives close to me keeps giving me little snippets every now and then.

Last year she slipped into the conversation that her mother (my dads mother as well) was actually adopted, not a bit of wonder I couldn't find her in the 1901 census!!!

I did eventually find my grandmother (dad's mam) with her adoptive parents in the 1901 census, before her name was changed, which complicated things even more. I managed to find a birth for her in 1893 and ordered the birth certificate. Of course this all took place before Official Adoption started in the 1920's.

I now know through searching and researching who my great grandmother was on my paternal side - and have managed to trace back a further couple of generations.

Its great to talk to the eldery generation, just remember to write everything down!

Lynne

Good advice but also remember that the information you glean from the family might not always be correct, so be sure to check it out carefully.

We have come a cross quite a few 'stories' on both mine and my wife's families which turned out to be completely wrong, but probably suited at the time.

Hi all - I,and I am sure many more of you, come from a long line of tight lipped, must keep it to ourselves, family. Even down to my own mother, who I am sure, thought it was some kind of taboo, to talk about family members that had gone before. Indeed,my own grandmother and her sisters always said that their own mother had died when they were young, leaving the eldest sister to bring them up. NOT TRUE. She walked out on the family, and years later, died in the workhouse, with eldest daughter 'seeing to her affairs'. Years after that,when the father died and was cremated, the mother's ashes were reburied with him, and all the daughters went to the service.
An aunt, who did not subscribe to the secrecy way of life told me all of this,so I have known for years, and contact with a 4th cousin recently,confirmed this.
But the biggest 'secret' I have uncovered is as follows, and is a bit difficult to explain, and may need reading more than once.
I found my Gt.Grandfather and all his siblings, on the 1881 quite easily, and since then, their ancestors going back to the early 1700's. However, three of his sisters seemed to be untraceable between then and 1901. Sister no.1 found on the 1901, no.2 finally found up to 1911. Agh, sister no. 3, found in 1891, in service,miles from original home, but nothing after that. Boy, oh boy, the searching that I did.
Then I had contact with the husband of a woman who was the grandaughter of a half brother of the family, and had done the family tree.
According to his notes, and information, and they still live close to the area and other family members, an aunt had told him, "she never married, did that one". WELL HELLO. She sailed to Singapore in her late forties, in 1908, to join up with sister no. 2 and her husband to run a music shop, and by the time she got off the boat she was either married to a sea captain, or about to. Sadly, at the fall of Singapore,she was promised a safe passage to Australia by the Japanese, only for their navy to sink the ship she was on. This information from the notebook of another sister, and passed on to me by her grandson, which I am now trying to follow up.
Why,oh why, do people have to keep all this ancient information to themselves. I think they must have shares, from above, in sites like GR, so we keep subscribing to find out more.
Julia in Derbyshire

Also - talk to your cousins. Sometimes they have different stories, but quite often they have the same stories but with different snippets of info.

Be a bit "loose" in the interpretation of family stories. My mother said that her grandfather's brother lived in Luton. I thought the family were Londoners so it puzzled me as to why anyone would want to move to Luton (apologies to anyone who lives in Luton but it did not make sense). Of course the penny eventually dropped that the family all came from Luton - including my gr grandfather. (Sometimes I am just soooo thick!)

And with the elderly, sometimes you need to go in stages. They give you a bit of info - you show them what you've found and ask the odd question and they remember other bits and pieces. My OH's mother is classic at this. She's interested in all I find but bits of info jog her memory into more stories - which she'd forgotten until then.

Jill

On my ex husbands father side there isnt anyone to ask.

His mother gave us few bits on her side befor she died,so have found about hers

So have got a very very big brick wall on his father side. Even with his fathers army record dont help, as he said he was born in Swindon and on the 5.11.1915 army record say 5.3.1915 in Fulham London.Dont know who his fathers mother was or where they came from.

On marrage of his father, it said that his father(ho grand father)was William and had died by 1947 and that he was a surgeon. Done search for that and come to brick wall again

So if you have ay family do ask.

Hi all,

What sound advice. I am one of the many members who regret not asking about family history much earlier. Thankfully I didn't leave it too late as my gran who is 99 next week has been an absolute gem helping me. Up to now I have been able to back up everything she has told me. One thing I have learnt is not to ask direct questions as she struggles to answer. Yet if I mention something I've found, her memories start flooding back and I learn much more than I was expecting too.

Chris

I did get quite abit of information from my family. Unfortunately they are all gone now and I would love to tell them what I have found in my searches.

Good advice from all, especially agree that older relatives will not - or cannot - answer a direct question "Nan, what were your aunts & uncles called", yet once you start finding information & saying "I think your father had a sister called Dorice", all of a sudden they do remember her, she never got married & lived in Scotland for a time. I actually work the opposite way to what some of you mention, using living relatives to confirm facts I have found out.

Jonesey I totally agree about leaving information for our descendants, I am trying to get members of my family to do the same, even if they will only give me one sheet of A4 each, to give their dob, marriage, jobs, addresses they lived at and some information on hobbies etc.

Happy hunting everyone!

i am lucky as i have started the family tree quite young so there is still a few people i can ask. my grandpa and his sister always give different answers though and ofcourse if i mentioned to them i have found their mother had a sister named jane they say oh no there wasn't a jane but there was a ginnie etc

also my grandad once told me their dad was always talking about a relative who painted at buckingham palace. my grandad thought this meant he painted the walls so i thought ooh there's a decorator in there someone (off i go busy checking for occupations in the census). turns out they were related through marriage to sir william Quiller Orchardson who painted Queen Victoria,her son,grandson and great grandson! so equally you never know wht may turn up.

they were also convinced their mother's mother was from an aristocratic family and was disowned because she married a railway worker. i have since found that although her family were well off by the standards of the day they were by no means aristocratic (but i think i'll keep that one to myself- no harm i that is there?!)

Lee.
x

yes been there done all that !!grew up thinking my father was born in Cork Ireland and that his mother was born there too were they Heck she was born in Bermonsey and my father in East london just a few streets away from where my sister's and I all grew up lol and to put the cat among the pigeons the only living rellie of my father's {his neice} told me Grannies maiden name was Finnigan .........nope it was Flynn !! not a lot of differance eh??and ooh the irish bit did come into it old Grandfather came from Cork Ireland.my motto is dont listen to most of your rellies follow your gut feeling.Jean.

Just discovered from a granny that the family were related to Fred Pickup of Manchester, who invented Tizer!

Margaret

Don't forget to ask about those 'boring' relatives you were taken to see as a child. One of those turned out to be my great great aunt and was the key to finding my great grandmother. My father had died by the time I remembered 'Aunt Doll' but luckily my stepmother knew someone who was able to help me. I do however remember visiting other people, whose names I have forgotten. With nobody to ask now, I may never know who they were.