Genealogy Chat

Thanks everyone for your advice.

As I said I have asked for further confirmation but not one of them has replied as yet, although they have read my message.

Jim yes there are a lot of people as members but of course I would not expect all 10 million or so as you quoted to give me their opinion! I was just asking for a general one, and you normally get a reasonable response from the regulars who view this board, which I have found to be very helpful. Further to your point sometimes I just like to be sure I am not being too cautious or giving access too easily! As for not containing information that should not be shared, I guess I am extremely careful of information on young children in the family. I only have bare bones and not all accurate to protct them.

It is good anyway to see what everyone else is doing! Thank you everyone for taking the time to reply.

I dont have full tree on here just add the line I'm working on by bare bones if I get a contact and after sending and receiving messages that I know they are defiantly related then will give them access to my ancestry tree which is full tree ;;

Babs

By letting them see a branch I mean send a GEDCOM, or report (use family tree maker to do this).

Although I also have branches on various free websites (all starting with a grandparent, all but one has passed away and the other been married enough times to fox anyone trying to pinch her ID, also give no details for her but her name). I also have my tree split into branches on ancestry but have been a bit 'evil' and kept them private as I'd rather people contact me then just copy unthinkingly, as this is how inncorrect tree's occur which are then copied many times so everyone thinks they are correct.

I will say when I do make a genuine connection with someone I am happy to share information with them and on the odd occassion they've been able to give me information or details I did not know I ensure they understand how grateful I am they have been willing to share their hard work with me.

NetGrrl79, if I were you I would check you are related to people before allowing access to you tree, even if you make contact something like the wording Sylvia (in Canda) suggested can be very helpful in making that connection.

I would say if you prefer a share with everyone option Ancestry's they way to go, as most people don;t make there tree's private so you don;t even have to ask permission to see them, but remember to take everything with a pinch of salt unless it fits in with the evidence you have, and they have records to back their tree up. It is quiet gobsmacking the number of people who seem to just accept ancestry hints, so things like children born after the mothers death or in America when the family was in the UK are not uncommon.

As for the problem sharing causes with the hotmatches issue, I have that problem too.

The last thing to remember is once you pass it on its out of your control, so makesure nothing you wouldn't want the world to know is on your tree, also if copies of pictures and records are precious to you don't put them online as anyone can copy and paste them and use them in their tree.

Hi everyone,

I have written to several people who are hot matches not giving access to my tree and in return they have just given me access to theirs with no message.

Then just ask for access to mine. When I write regarding an ancestor that matches mine I DO NOT AUTOMATICALLY WANT ACCESS to their tree but details of that person and then if they wish to give me access great and they can see mine.

I find it strange no message or explanation just access - I am not interested in their personal details - although it is great to know approximately how old they are and if they are in the same country as you. It seems a lazy way of dealing with a message from another member.

Lesley

I have living relatives hidden. I'd prefer the Ancestry option where they were hidden by default but you could give individuals access to view living people, but in its absence I'm going with the more restrictive option. I can't see where most contacts would need to see the living people in my tree anyway, and in a few cases where there's a close connection I've offered to send a GEDCOM of the relevant branch.

I very rarely give access to my tree, and then only if I am convinced that the other person is genuine

I exchange several emails with people before even considering giving them information.


I have however extracted information from my tree and sent that in a separate email.

Part of the reason is that I actually have much more information elsewhere than on GR

When contacting people, I always say something like "George Smith (b ca 1822 Dewsbury) was my xxxxgrandfather. He was married to Emily. I am descended from his 3rd son William (b. ca 1850). Is there any connection with your George Smith?"



One problem with sharing your tree, even the little bit that I have done, is Hot Matches



I think practically every valid Hot Match I have had in the last year matches me with someone who has obtained the information from me!!!



sylvia

Hi. I have no living relatives on my Genes tree, only myself with no other details than the year I was born. I do not give access to my tree unless convinced that the enquirer is a genuine contact. If they cannot offer up a good reason to have access, I don't give it.
On the other hand, I am generous when a genuine contact pops up, and only too pleased to help.
I always say thank you to other people who help me, and I always hope I will get thanked, too (but this doesn't always happen ).Cheers!

I always used to give access to my tree automatically when making enquiries (though I do have the "hide living relatives" at the request of my sister). However I have seen so many reservations expressed on these boards that I now in my initial approach say "the xyz in my tree is my greatgrandfather's brother (or whatever) he was born wherever and the year - if you think he is identical and are interested, let me know and I'll' give you access". When (if) I get a reply it has always been a sensible one giving similar details - if they do seem identical some people would like further knowledge, some say identical but too remote, married my 4th cousin or whatever.

I was really pleased to hear peoples views on this topic as a fairly recently I have had a couple of people get a bit annoyed when I have refused to give them access before finding out more about how they are related to me. Im glad to hear most agree

Thanks Leone

Hello All

Im a long term computer user before the birth of the w.w.w (lol)
common sense is really the rule of the day.

I must admit Sharing your tree would be easier and safer for those on it if you could selectively tick off those people in your tree who are living relatives instead of Genes Blanket cover option.

If you wish to contact the person who messaged you , and provide an email address, then I suggest you create an address especially for GR contacts, yahoo , hotmail , gmail etc something you can delete.

Once I am happy that they are genuine contacts then I provide my other email address. Helps stop email address collectors.

I normally dont automatically share my tree without having a few messages on GR go back and forth, and if you really wish to you can use the search trees option, to find there member number, and then find out who else they are interested in. A slow process but worthwhile.

I have found a number of relatives this way, who I didn't know existed, people I may of not shared my tree with

As to the thoughts of people who, go one about identity/information theft etc, these things just happen faster today they are not born from the technology.

So enjoy the technology,enjoy the networking opportunities but just use common sense

10 million members,10million different opinions!
I hate it when people use the "hide living relatives"
Your tree online should not contain anything that is not sharable.
I have access to enough information to commit identity theft again and again.
EG
birthdays
mother's maiden
addresses
etc.

'Scuse the newbie question lol (this probably has an obvious answer!) - although I've automatically shared trees in the past without thinking about it, I can see why that's a bad idea... but what info would you say is ok to share with someone you don't know? I've just gone through all my new Hot Matches and discarded all the ones who I can tell from the Hot Match info are not related, but for those Hot Matches I haven't discarded, if I'm not sharing the full tree, what info is (and is not) ok to share?

Thank you, fr your advice.

I have reqested further information and given email addresses etc but I haven't heard back from any of them now.

PME you may be correct I notied that on their trees they had between 20 and 212 people whereas my tree is much bigger than that.

PME could you advise how you can just send a person a branch for them to view? Or do you mean you send them a gedcom file of the branch? I usually do that when people are genuine and willing to share information both ways.

Thanks

If the connections not clear I always ask for extra details, ideally parent's names or siblings names.

Also no one gets to see my full tree happy to send them a branch but all those who need to see my full tree (including both parents lines) I already know, soanyone contacting me from genes or elsewhere are normally linked through a great grandparents branch or even further back.

You will probably find these people are pretty new to doing their family tree and do not appreciate the time an effort that can go into doing a tree once you get past the informaiton living family members can provide.

Remember no one has a right to view your tree, if they have opened theirs to you thats their choice, you don't have to let them see yours.

I find if people have a genuine interest in their family history they are normally more than happy to provide extra details, or say I'm not sure but I know this about our probable shared relative.

The simple reply is 'How do you know we are related, as I cannot tell from your tree, unfortuately I do not consider a matched name and year of birth as 'proof' of a connection' that is unless its an ususal name, but most people tend to have more than one douple ganger.

No - you're not being too cautious.

If they cannot give you some info, knowing that you won't see full info on their tree, then don't give them access to your tree.

You could offer them your e-mail address if they want to send you further details away from this site ... and offer to do the same in return. That way at least you can limit the info you do share and you might get a little further with them.

But hold your ground - they seem a tad rude at the moment. Maybe they're just being cautious too but then they will understand if you are as well.

Jill

Just after your opinions here.

In the last couple of weeks I have been contacted by three people who have automatically given me access to their tree and want access to mine.

I have opened their tree to find the person they say we have in common and everyone else is blocked out as a living person. The person "in common" has bare details usually only a name and a date or year of birth.

I have gone back to each of them and asked for more details to prove a connection before I give them access to my tree and two of them have just come back and said they are related please give us access but they won't release any other information.

I'm not sure what I should do, and I wonder if anyone else has experienced the same thing. I don't not have my living relatives blocked so I am careful as to whom I allow access to.

Am I being too cautious to ask for extra details?