Genealogy Chat

Am i just an old fogey? I wish folks would put "please" in their enquiries. If there is jus a bold statement like "fred Bloggs 1970 need info" I wouldn't even go there.
What do others think?
Jan (trainee grumpy old woman)

Jan, I am a great believer in the old adage "manners maketh the man" (or woman).
Courtesy costs nothing and basic "please" and "thank you" is not (or should not) be so hard to say. Sadly, these days, it seems people make demands rather than ask politely. I tend to ignore requests that are demands rather than a polite query.

Kathleen
(a fully fledged grumpy old woman)

Janet

I feel the same, i am tempted many times to ask the poster if they have left something out of their request, like Please and thank you, but some don't believe it to be necessary.

Another old fogey

George

I wonder if people sometimes think that Genes provide a lookup service? It isn't immediately obvious that it is other members helping out - I was amazed by this when i cottoned on (still am!) and now I am starting to do the same!
Still doesn't excuse bad manners mind.
Jan

I think perhaps "thank you" could be more important than "please". If members have been to the trouble of helping you, even looking things up on other sites, then posting a "thank you" is more than just a formal courtesy, it shows that you've received the information and their efforts haven't been wasted.
So now I'll have to remember to do it myself, which I've perhaps not been so punctillious about before.
And if someone's been really helpful, why not thank them by PM
A

I agree with everyone regarding manners, I posted a thread and was so pleased that I received 80 responses, as Janet said I never realised that it was members that search and try and help you find what you are looking for - I thought it was perhaps people who were employed by the site, it wasn't until a couple of the responses said 'that I am just going out, but will look when I come back for you' and 'I'm at work at the moment but will see what I can find', that I realised - I think the generosity of the people on this site is amazing and I have to say I am always grateful for any help and always say thanks - because I think that the people who are searching then know that they are appreciated.

Thanksxxx

I also think it's a case of posters thinking that people who do look-ups are employed by GR

I'm sure that is true. But even so, still should be polite I think.
Jan

There's only room on these threads for one Mrs Grumpy ... !!

Seriously though, I too tend to ignore threads that don't say please or thank you.

Jill

I don't blame any one for not helping anyone who doesn't say please, after all manners cost nothing. I always speak to people in the way I'd like to be spoken to. Once again, thank you to all those member s who very generously give up their time helping other members.

Chris

Just one more thing -(Jill, I am after your title!) - I also think that some of the more experienced folks on here can be a bit rude. A lot of new people are perfectly polite but maybe post several threads on the same subject, or do not give enough info. When I started, I had no idea that people could trace threads so easily and thought posting on several would giveme more chance of success. So be gentle!
jan

Well Janet,
It's sometimes difficult to find a sensible request that doesn't require translation ( text speak etc.) never mind the niceties of please and thank you.
Posters might do well to remember that this site is WWW .......World Wide and of course if you can't understand a message in the first place then it may well go unanswered!
Given time we will probably hear the old addage that Ps & Qs are irrelevant now and that we should just get on with our jobs ?!!!?
I am certainly indebted to many people on these boards who have given their time freely.

Thanks to you all,

Courtesy costs nothing ....... and a thank you is soooooooooo appreciated after spending hours searching for information!



Like Ann of Green Gables, I'm convinced that a lot of newbies believe that any help on this site is given by employees of GR .......... but that still doesn't excuse the lack of courtesy.




sylvia