Genealogy Chat

Or – lateral thinking for amateur genealogists? Or tips for newbies?

One of the questions I ponder on is where and how my ancestors met. In some cases it’s fairly obvious but not all.

My gr gr grandfather James Forder was born in 1826 in Toft Monks, Norfolk. It’s a small village in south Norfolk very close to the Suffolk border and James was the village carpenter. He married Rebecca Read who was born in 1837 in Lingwood, Norfolk, whose father was Robert Read a farmer.

I initially thought that maybe he had either met Rebecca when on his way from Toft Monks to Norwich, or perhaps had met her father in Norwich on market day or something, or perhaps they were old acquaintances. It wasn’t until I check the map that I realised that he would not have passed Lingwood on his way into Norwich as there is a large body of water between Toft Monks and Lingwood. Then when I found out more about Robert Read I realised that the age difference between these two men probably meant that they were not direct friends or acquaintances.

I gathered the usual information about James and Rebecca – censuses, Trade Directories, James’ will. I even paid a visit to Toft Monks and found their gravestones. At the time I visited the village I’d been in touch with someone else researching the Farrow family from the same area so I’d taken photos of any Farrow gravestones as well. I’d already noted that James’ brother William Forder had married a Martha Farrow so thought there might be some family link. (And I also have a note somewhere that there may have been a Forder/Farrow marriage further back.)

Just last year when tidying up the paperwork and making sure the notes were up to date on my tree I thought I would put my Farrow notes in some sort of order, just in case there were links, and I thought I would check up on Martha. Working mainly on census records and a bit of delving into the Norfolk FreeREG info I found out that:

Martha Farrow(1823) had a brother called Edmund Farrow (1821).
Edmund Farrow (1821) had married a woman called Hannah (1825) from Lingwood. (little bell rang here) And yes, Hannah was Hannah Read, sister to Rebecca Read.

So, Edmund married Hannah, then moved to Toft Monks.
At some point, Rebecca probably came to visit or stay with her sister at Toft Monks and met James Forder.
And then, to round it all off very neatly James’ brother William Forder(1822) married Edmund’s sister Martha Farrow.

I like a tidy ending.

Jill

:)

Me too! Makes the story much more interesting. It's surprising (or maybe not) how often occupations seem relevant - several of my female ancestors married men with the same job as their father or brother which suggests how they might have met.
I also found out why my great-grandfather moved from Shropshire to Kington Herefordshire - he came to train as a baker with his maternal uncle who had his own business there. And his future wife - my great-grandmother - had left Wales to work in Kington as a servant.
Take care though - when I delved into how my grandparents met it turns out they were cousins!

Jan

I have one lot who were second cousins (or first cousins once removed). He was one of my ponderings as well because he moved from Luton to Southwark which made no sense to me. Logically, if he'd moved looking for work (he was a brass founder) then surely he would have stopped in north or east London. After unpicking it all I found that he'd come to stay with his cousin and then married her daughter ...

And the occupations - my East End gunsmiths a lot of them married daughters of gunsmiths etc. I always picture various social gatherings, or maybe just the dads in the pub discussing their children and perhaps doing a bit of matchmaking.

And have you noticed how many lodgers end up marrying one of the daughters of the house? I assume that's because they happen to get on / fall in love or whatever. But I think it must have been easier for the girl's mum and dad as at least they knew the young man and he may even have felt like part of the family.

Jill

Re. lodgers. We found evidence of a "shotgun wedding" of my husband's grandfather! He was a boarder and she a domestic servant. The marriage took place when she was only 18, and it looks sadly as if they had a baby a few months later which died in infancy. He then went on to meet my husband's grandmother. Though sad it does paint a picture of their lives.

Like a few people on here I imagine I have few lines of research left in my tree, so the fun now is "fleshing it out".
Jan

My parents are related, I'm not sure how to describe it, but one of my grandmas is the others aunt. The families, though large, seem to have been very close over the years, and Mum and Dad grew up in the same town, though they didn't marry 'til they were in their mid-30's. The mutual ancestor came from London to a small village on the Lancs/Westmorland border, he was a school teacher and came as head of the school. He married a local girl, on one of the censuses she was a servant, and most of her ancestors were either farmers or fishermen, the village is on the coast. One of them married a girl from across the Bay, apparently the fishermen used to walk out into the Bay to fish, and would meet families from the other side, I like to think this is how they met.
The guy from London has a well recorded ancestry going back. They lived in the same Square for several generations, and used the same Church. However they did change churches and residences at one time. When we checked, it looks as though they were involved in the Great Fire, and moved to a different area afterwards.

It's interesting to work these things out.
I have a great uncle who was a stonemason with my great grandfather. At one time they went to work on Chester and Liverpool cathedrals, and gt uncle met a young lady from a family with an antiques business in Chester. They married and lived in part of Liverpool. When I was looking back at information I found that the young lady he married had a brother who was also a stonemason so with him working locally and getting to know my relatives who had travelled from Buckinghamshire to work , he must have introduced them to his sister and the rest, as they say, is history.

I don't have to wonder about my own late parents. Only a few weeks before Mum died and after Dad had been dead some years, I asked Mum how she had met my Dad, as he came from Buckinghamshire and met Mum in Norfolk in 1945. At the time, Mum was in the Land Army at the end of the war and Dad was on demob at a little village close to where my Mum was working, several miles from her home in Norwich. Seems Mum was cycling home from work and Dad whistled at her lol That was in October 1945 and they married just after that Christmas.

By the way, Jill, my Mum's family came from around Seething, in Norfolk, and Mum had always told me we had links to the name Forder after I worked with a girl with that surname. She mentioned it again when there was a Forder in the same ward when she was in hospital but no one else in her family remembered the surname. Then an elderly aunt gave me a sampler done by someone called Forder, I can't recall the Christian name, and again Mum said it was someone from our family but no more info than that.
A while back I went to an open day at Seething and got talking to some people in the village hall where old photos were exhibited etc. One of those was a Forder and told me a relative of mine married one of their relatives, I have some notes written down about it but can't lay hands on them right now.
Funny old world, eh?

Lizx

Hi Liz

Do have a hunt for your Forder connections please ... could be interesting.

I have been in touch with a chap who is doing a mini-One Name Study for Forder in south Norfolk/north Suffolk. Let me know if you want his details and I will dig out his e-mail for you.

Jill

You've really inspired me Jill to look more closely at the details. Thanks :)

My gran was born in Southampton. Her mum came from generations of 'Suffolk', and her dad, though born in London, came from a Buckinghamshire family.
Easy to sort out the Buckinghamshire/London move - gg grandad became a metropolitan policeman.
However, why would his son move from London (he had a very good job as a waiter at a posh hotel) to Southampton, and more curiously, why would a girl move from Suffolk - it's a long way to go 'in service' - and wehre did they meet?
I found them in Bournemouth in the 1901 census. She working at the Chine hotel, he living a street away - so probably both worked at the hotel
Why was he there? I found a wife in London - g gran and g grandad married 24 years later - when wife No.1 died!
Why was g gran there? Also in the 1901 census, I found a young grand daughter living with her parents in Suffolk. Her child!

My great grandfather William Shipley was in the workhouse in 1841 age 11, but his future wife Alice Green and her 2 sisters were staying with his sister Sarah and Williams grandfather, i believe Alice Greens parents to be dead as i cannot find them on a census.

So i like to believe they met through Williams sister Sarah.

OOPPPPSSS i clicked on request review thinking that i was asking to look at your tree, but a message just came up saying i was reporting you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Am sooooo sorry. I am struggling with my grandfathers side His NAnny was Florence may forder 1882 ish if i have the right family her father was George Forder 1853 ish

I know Florence had bothers,Richard and Herbert known as Bertie

I hope you can advise me