Genealogy Chat

I know this is an ongoing problem that comes up again and again but please people do not send a simple message saying "Can I view your tree"?.

Please state your reason and the relative or person you are interested in. No one will give you access without a good reason (well I won't anyway). People spend a lot of time and money researching, they will not give information away to just anyone. Justify your request.

Thank you.

Sharon

when I reply to a hot match etc, I usually ask " Is your Jane Doe the daughter/ mother/sister of..." giving a brief outline of the person/family I am interested in....
I ALWAYS (well 99.9% of the time)get a sensible/warm reply,and part on good terms if the match is NO match!

I never use the GR auto question/replies, they are TOO off hand, and show no respect to the recipient.

Bob

Hi

I have just had the opposite, three people have just shared their tree WITHOUT ME ASKING, one I recognise the surname and we may have a connection. I have written to the other two asking why they have shared their tree as I cannot see a common name neither has asked to see my tree and will not have access until I know which relative we share.

Lesley

Sometimes newcomers think that because I have found info on their family and posted it on their thread that I must be family and they open their tree and Request to view mine.I always go back and explain we have no family connection i was just responding to their query.

Shirley

I have had the same thing-giving help and getting a pm to say they have opened their tree !

I had one just last week asking to look at my tree, no explanation given. On looking at their tree, which she'd opened for me, all I found was one name! Nothing else, how am I supposed to know if we have a connection? I asked for further information but am still waiting for a reply.

Sue

Referring to what I last said in this topic I sent the person a message asking which relative we shared, all I got back was a request to view my tree - newcomer or not how rude is it to not even bother to reply to a sent message.

He has got an abrupt reply the first time (well almost!!) in 4 years I have felt so annoyed.

Lesley

Lesley,

That is why I posted in the first place. Someone sent me a message "Can I see your tree".

I sent them a polite message asking which relative they thought we shared and they have not even bothered to reply.

This is not the first time and I am sure it will not be the last.

Sharon

Personally I think those awful automated replies should be removed. It gives the impression to someone new to this site that a reponse in that format is acceptable....Well sorry but to me it isn't!....But that isn't all their fault.

There was a thread a while ago from someone new to the site that thought she had to reply to every Hot Match (or not) that she recieved, so obviously a naturally polite person, and was grateful when many of us pointed out she didn't. I really think that the Genes explanation of Hot Matches is due an overhaul and needs to include a guide to response and request 'etiquette'.

Stepping of my soap box now :-)

Chris

I had a message recently that said
'I have opened my tree for you, if you think we have a connection, give the details, and I'll try to get back to you. I have over 1000 messages here'.

I hadn't contacted him, but did have a look at his tree with it's 22,000odd rellies. He uploads about 250 every day, lots of them are alive, small children also.

The connection was from 1400, I don't bother with those.

desparatelyseeking

I know what you mean...

Sometime ago I was contacted by someone who was new to researching (their words) and seemed to have a definite connection to me. They then opened their tree (less than 200) and yes there was a connection. I happily sent a detailed offline tree and copies of all the documentary evidence I had for the line back to the 1700s, personally researched in Record Offices, copy certificates, ect and all went quiet....

Less than a year later that contact now has over 22,000 people in their tree as I am constantly reminded by 'Updates' and by viewing their tree that I still have access too.

What annoys me is that I am now getting contacts from Hot Matches that are referencing this person as the be all and end all of info for my line as 'They have done all the research and bought the certificates and have copy documents'

Well sorry but those certificates/copy documents, they copy me, have a little 'mark' I have made on them that identify they are originating from me!

I have no problem with how someone wants to carry out their research and how they wish to record it....That is their own choice.

But, personally, I would never forward information without referencing who/what was the source provider...Seems only polite to me.

Chris