Genealogy Chat

thanks to friends on GR i now have info (address and tel no) on a lady that could very well be my aunty. could you please advise me what to do now shall i write or phone and how do i put it to ask if she is my mums sister who we have never met and my mum not here anymore. thank you anne

Hi Anne,
I had a similar situation, only recently. Unfortunately they were ex-directory, so i had to write a letter. That was two wks ago, & alas they haven't replied. If it was me i'd be so excited to find members of my family. So maybe it would be better to write first, & let them get used to the idea, if after a fortnight you havent heard anything, then ring. But be prepared to accept they may not want to know, & also to respect their decision. I hope this helps you in some way.
Best wishes, Carol.

thanks carol, i was so excited but unsure as to how they might take it or even if it is not her. I will put pen to paper in the morning. this is all so frustrating isn't it.

thanks for your advice
anne

Hi Anne,
Yes it is frustrating, it's hard to stay calm & think straight. I hope it's good news for you. Let me know how you get on.
Keeping my finger's crossed for you,
Carol.

Anne, I also recently had this situation although the lady in question was my great aunt. Calculating her age to be in her 80's I didn't want to shock her by phoning out of the blue so I wrote to her giving basic family info so that she could work out if there was a link or not and also trying to reassure her that I was who I claimed to be.
As it turned out, the address was not hers but that of a second cousin who opened the letter and we have all since met up and got on great.
You don't say whether she would be aware that your mother (her sister) is no longer with you or why you have never met her before. Do think carefully about how you put things in a letter, maybe more than one attempt before posting and do be prepared for no response depending on the family circumstances.
Having said that, I wish you luck and hope that your contact is as successful as mine was!

Julia

Anne

I would suggest sending a letter but not initially stating what relationship you believe you are to her.

Something along the lines of.... I am researching my family history and think you may have a connection.

Give details of the names you think she may recognise and, if you can, a small family tree.

Include an e.mail address but also enclose S.A.E and keep your fingers crossed

Good luck
Chris

I've done it ten times.

To my husband's cousins or their offspring.

I start off saying "I've been researching the family tree of Fred Bloggs and your name has come up as a child of his. I think this child married Joe Soap and you might be their daughter". Please excuse me writing to you, and if I am wrong please ignore my letter. But if I have the right person and you want to get in touch, please contact me at....".

They all replied. I have ten new people on my Christmas Card list and 6 people to visit in the next few months.

thank you all so much for your advise, it is really a great help also knowing that other people have been in the same situation and have had good results. will let you know how i get on. thanks again a very grateful anne

IS IT TIME TO GIVE UP

Hi everyone, well i was good and didn't phone. i sent a letter and with a very quick reply from the lady by text saying her parents were different from the ones i had so unfortunately i have drawn yet another blank. i really do think that this family have fallen off the face of the earth. i dont know what else to do. any ideas. thanks to all who helped and advised me. anne x

Hi Anne,
Never give up, you'll find them, eventually. It just takes time, & an awful lot of patience. Look on the bright side, the lady replied, which means you can move on again, whereas if she hadn't replied you may have thought,( god forbid,) that they didn't want to know you. There is alway's hope.
Take care,
Carol.

bless you thanks carol, i seem to have been looking for about 6 years does it take that long. it is only my mum's sister and mother you would have thought that would be easier than further back.
anne