Genealogy Chat

Dear Gypsy Joe

---- Oh, that you were my relative!

I'm not defending anyone who is rude or doesn't say thanks but some people may not realise they are being rude as it may be their natural manner, I'm always paranoid that I'm not thanking people enough or that I'm coming across as brash. If I do then it's unintentional it's just the way I am to other's I may not seem as if I am.

I've had help in finding information on a relative in Blackppol from a gentleman up that was and really I can't thank him enough, when I have the money to head up that way I intend on taking him and his wife for a meal or bearing small tokens of appreciation. I even sent a christmas card last christmas.

Gypsy Joe

Ps if anyone has ever felt offended by the way I come accross I truely am sorry. :(

I was very pleased to have found quite a close relative on this site and we exchanged a few photos. I spent a considerable amount of time sending her a long email containing everything I knew about the family (much more than she knew!). I had no response at all and even emailed her again to ask if she got the 1st one. No response! I noticed, however, that her tree grew to incude all the information I sent.

I put it down to experience and heredity (my mother couldn't stand her grandmother!), and put it behind me.

A few weeks ago, however, I got a "Hot Match" message from her saying she thought we might be related! I replied that we were, indeed, and that she might remember the considerable amount of information I had sent her previously! I did a get a reply this time - it said "Oh Yeah!"

Well at least you've learnt something there Sharon - if people are "very demanding and not very polite from the beginning" as you say then don't bother! You have better things to do with your time I'm sure.
Jan

I agree with all the comments made but this person was very demanding and not very polite from the beginning but I continued to help anyway. I was unwell for 2 days & could not reply which did not go down well.

Anyway, I feel better today so I will stop moaning now.

Have a good day!!

Sharon

I think some people believe there are paid professional researchers on this site, hence the membership fee, who are there for their (the 'hunter's' )benefit, so are under the delusion that a 'thank you' isn't needed!!

Unfortunately some people get so excited by all this new information that they scurry away to see how it all fits into their tree without thinking about any show of gratitude.

Granted, there are good reasons for not posting any thanks such as illness, computer crashes, wiping your thread etc but many of these excuses usually appear when the poster comes back online to look for more information.
Then, when confronted with a slightly cooler welcome and perhaps old threads being brought back to the fore, they sudenly realise they should have said thankyou!!

I had one a few weeks ago who has had six threads and collected a lot of information from the volunteers here on GR.
On quizzing her about asking once more for the same info which she had previously received, she claimed to have deleted it all, although her threads were all still in place and available.
Laziness or a symptom of the modern lifestyle where people have become accustomed to getting something for nothing and complain if they don't get it.

Of course volunteers will continue to provide very welcome help to all who ask, while accepting the truth in that old adage............

"There's nowt sae queer as folk !"

Keep up the good work ;)

it can be disappointing not to get feedback - however, at least he hasn't been rude to you - I spent hours delving back to 1066 and Norman conquest for one member on here and when I asked him if the info I had found for him was of any use he asked me to "speak in pain [sic] English and reminded me that it was he who gave me information on his family, not the other way around"!!! Beggars belief!!

OH Dear
some people seem to lack manner,s on the other hand maybe the person is unwell or or there are circumstances you are unaware of.

Please do not get disheartened, I believe most people do send a thank you messages.
Would it help if I say thanks for doing this persons look up and NO I do not know who he is.

Bridget

I have spent over 2 weeks helping another researcher with his family on another site with look ups (various things ) and in the end never got a thank you of any sot. He just disapeared.

I enjoy helping others as many helped me in the beginning, but a thank you for your time, effort tec would be appreciated. Once again it was not this site, just letting off steam though.

Sharon