Genealogy Chat

very often people can ask for something without actually saying please but the way in which they ask is polite

generally if I feel they ask in too abrupt a manner - more like a demand - I comment that "please" would be nice - it usually works!

I hate it when someone says in an offhand manner "Yes, I already have that info" my first instinct is to delete the lot!! It's a bit like when you buy someone a present and they indicate that they already have one - had a brother in law who always did that!!!

Oh, I do agree with everyone, but I am that kind of person too. I don't think, however, we should get too worried if not everyone says Please or Thank you. It doesn't mean they aren't polite or not grateful. Just that they didn't say the words.

Anyway, don't most of you respond daily to requests from friends/relatives/neigbours to do something and they don't always say Please? Like my daughters. "Mum, I wonder if you could......" No Please. It doesn't matter. I don't even think about it. I know it is different from a stranger.

Last week I took in two parcels for a neighbour I barely know. She came across to collect them. They were light, but bulky, so she carried one over and I carried the other. She didn't say thank you. I didn't think about it. Till an hour later she knocked on my door and said "I want to apologise. I didn't say thank you for helping me with the parcels". I had not even noticed. I was sure she was grateful, and that was enough for me.

I think we can be too sensitive at times. Me included.

If I've helped someone find a record on here and they tell me it's the right one, that's usually good enough for me. I do get annoyed when I've worked my socks off and somebody says Yeah I knew that, or sometimes no response at all.

Well, that's me. I just do stuff. I'm not fussed about being thanked, if I think that what I did was okay.

Margaret

Remember that GR have standard messages, which to some can appear abrupt. Please don't get upset if someone uses one of these, they are not necessarily being rude. When I first started several years ago, I had no idea how to word a message - all that comes with time.

I reply to every single message I get, irrespective of how it is worded, with

Hi, So and So,

Blah blah, we may have... let me know what you think....sorry we don't seem to....

I sign off with Regards, Kind Regards, Best wishes or Good luck, depending on how close I feel I am to the connection.

I always use 'hello' and 'regards' and am quite shocked to get replies that are abrupt. It's a busy world out there but for most of us this is our hobby so there should be time to be courteous. Manners cost nothing!

Also the abbreviations used instead of normal words, sometimes it takes me a while to work out what they are saying. I always use "please" and "thankyou" - it would be nice if members, asking for look ups, always made a comment on their thread as to whether the details found were helpful.
Liz

If you want speedy responses to questions on other people's trees trying using the magic words please and thank you.

Recently there have been a couple of contacts saying " Who did so & so marry" No hello or please etc. Consequently no answer and you have wasted what is a very useful resource.