Genealogy Chat

In Susan's case, the natural mother has stated quite definitely that she does not wish to be contacted again.....it would be unwise in the extreme to disregard this.

There is no way of knowing her circumstances.........it may be fear which has prompted the response.

Follow the advice about adding details to the adoption contact register, and hope for a more positive outcome at some future date

Good luck

The feelings count of all people that would be affected by the knowledge of the existence of the adopted person in this sensitive situation; and this could include many people. Personally, I would be wary of sending more details and photographs unless the birth mother has asked for them. I am trying, from an outsider's point of view, to see it from other people's perspective who had not known of the adopted person. I think, if I were the adopted person, in this situation, I would put my name on the adoption register, and then think again later .

Susan, I'm so sorry to hear of that response.
Even though you were mindful of this possible outcome, it must have been so hurtful.

As the others have said, it may not be the end of the road completely. If you leave your name on the register, maybe a sibling will find YOU one day.

Gwyn

So sorry to hear your news Susan. At least she has your address. Maybe when she has calmed down and had time to think things through and sort her thoughts and feelings out she may get back in touch.

Fingers and toes crossed for you.

xx

I am sorry that your search has not worked out happily, and am sorry that you do not know the reason/s why she does not want contact.

Perhaps you could leave your name on the adoption register in case she has a change of circumstance in the future.

Keep your chin up.

Take care.

Just want to thank everyone for their kind words and support.
I sent a very basic letter stating I was reserching my family tree, gave my date of birth and where etc also and asking if possibly we may be related. I enclosed a stamp addressed enverlope hopefully then if someone other than she had opened it nobody would be the wiser. Unfortunately not a happy ending. Got piece of paper back two sentences " please dont contact me again not interested" Mixture of emotions now just wanted to be mindful that not always happy endings and we have to prepare for this

http://www.videojug.com/interview/contacting-your-family-2

Have a listen to this interview,

Good luck.

Your not going to believe this, but a fantastic lady Anne Lee has done more for me in a couple of hours than I have been able to find out in years! May have found my birth mother and now have to write a tactful letter any ideas? need help and dont want to cause problems for anyone.
Many thanks,

Many thanks to all of you for your replies. :0 fingers crossed.

You are entitled to your original birth certificate and your adoption file (although they tend to edit the file before handing it over), but depending on when you were adopted you may be required to see a councellor before they hand it over, which is no big deal.

As Shirley says, you could track your original birth registration and request a copy of the certificate (if you know your original name), but go down the official route, it costs nothing and the adoption file should contain more info than just the certificate.

This site gives a lot of useful information:

http://www.norcap.org.uk/

if you know your birth name you should be able to find your original birth registration. the cert will tell you mums name at least.You may be able to follow through then with other info.

have pmd offer of help

Hi there,
Wonder if you can help has anyone ever had any look with finding biological parents? I was apopted as a baby and have some details?
Many thanks.