Genealogy Chat

Hi All,
i would like a bit of advise please.my mother was adopted in 1950 straight after birth.her mother went on to marry and have another child.both the parents have now passed away many years ago.I have thought about contacting the child,my mothers sibling,but would that be a bad idea?I have absolutely no idea if my mother was ever mentioned after her adoption-as did happen in those days,so her sibling may have no idea of her ever existing.What are peoples thoughts on this subject?is it better to leave the past in the past where adoption is involved?
Alz

If your mother is still alive then it must be her decision as to whether or not she wishes to try to make contact with her half sibling. If your mother is not still alive then I would think it best that you do not make contact with her half sibling.

If the half-sibling is unaware of your mother's existence, it might destroy his/her faith in his/her own mother if you tried to make contact.

I would advise extreme caution

But then again.......

I have been involved in finding a half-sibling for someone (admittedly in the early 60 age group) and they have met and had a whale of a time - their children and grandchildren have also got together for a holiday
I'm thankful that it wan't a complete disaster - but I was rather hesitant at the time. I guess the answer is - "Who knows?"
B

thank you for your opinions and advise.my mother passed away at a young age some 30 years ago,so my reason for contacting the half sibling was really just to know if they had any family info or if this person knew they had a sister etc.my mother was adopted but it seems she was adopted to people her mother knew as they did live quite close by,maybe she even kept in touch for a while,this is why I am comtemplating contact,but I quite agree with Jonesey and Reggie as well,I would definately not want to upset or destroy their faith in their mother if they dont know. It is such a hard thing to know what is the best option.

You could try an approach saying you are researching the family tree and wonder if there's any connection to say your mums mum name.

They may come back and give some indication that they knew about your mum..

If you do decide to approach the family then it must be a very softly approach in my opinion, and not mention your mum till some rapport has been established.

Its really down to you .

I think by having typed "I would definately not want to upset or destroy their faith in their mother if they dont know. ", you have answered your own question.

Within our family there has been a searching for a half sibling and subsequent meeting.
This was a gradual process and the 2 people involved were in their late 40s and 50s when they met.
The younger person's parents had long since died and he was alone in the world and has really enjoyed being included into the extended family of his half sibling.

Each case is different, but there can be very happy outcomes.

Gwyn