Genealogy Chat

Over a month ago I found a first cousin I knew nothing about, I sent her a letter with a s.a.e. which she answered quickly agreeing with what I had put not to much but enough. So I sent her another latter with s.a.e.
but this time she has not answered do you think that she has had second thoughts. I know she is elderly.
Margaret

How long ago did you send the second letter? If she's elderly perhaps she is ill or isn't sure what you are expecting of her.

Did you make it clear that you just wanted to share family information or did you say you wanted to become aquainted with her? This could have scared her off.

It all really depends on what you put in your letter.

Kath. x

Not sure that we can read the lady's mind

Hi in the first letter I only mentioned her and her sister
although I knew she had a half brother.I did not mention him in case she did not know he was a half brother.
When she answered she mentioned to be she had brother and his name so I thought she was interested.
I never imposed on her or asked for anything I am just
very interested.
Margaret

I know it can be very difficult to get round to writing letters. I managed to get in touch with my father's half-sister (who none of us knew about until after my father's death). She is 80 and in poor health and although she was delighted I had found her because she didn't have any other close family and we wrote to each other every month or so (this was about 5 or 6 years ago) now it is only about every 6 months because she finds it difficult to write with her arthritis and I just find it difficult to think of things to write about now we've caught up with filling each other in about ancestors and descendants.

Perhaps if you just leave it a while and then send another letter with any news you have and say you don't expect her to write too often she might reply.

Kath. x

I have contacted a number of unknown 'cousins', some in the UK, others abroad. Most have been delighted to be in touch, and indeed 3 of us emailed regularly for a while. Some of the UK ones I have met, at my instigation, and again, have been a pleasure to meet, with invitations to meet again.
But as Kath said, it's hard to maintain a relationship when you have few shared interests and little shared history.
The only thing I alwaysdo though, is make sure I have all family addresses and send a card at Christmas, just to keep in touch.

Hi as far as I can find out she is a widow and they did not have any children. She only had one sister whom I have found a death for and the half brother was was some years older.thankyou
Margaret