Genealogy Chat

I'd also like to know the answer to this - am hitting a brick wall at the moment. After being really helpful with finding the actual positions of the graves for my great-grandparents, the staff at Kettering Burials Office now seem to be ignoring my emails. In November they helped me find the locations of three sets of my great grandparents - one grave is in a very well tended cemetary in a small village (I suspect, as I know the name of the people in the grave next to my grandad, that it gets 'tidied up' when their son does theirs), another is 'untidy' but OK. The third, in Kettering cemetary, I managed to find, but the headstone is a three level 'plinth' with a cross that sits on the top - unfortunately when I found it the 'cross' was sitting on the floor leaning on the plinth - over the years it has obviously either broken off or been vandalised. I would like to get a quote to get this repaired but am not sure: a) who would be the appropriate people to contact b) whether I need permission from the cemetary, or c) whether they have a stonemason that they use for repairs etc. Anyone any ideas as they won't respond to me. Kind regards Looby

I agree with the replies saying the responsibility of upkeep lies with the deceased family, but years ago, family would make some sort of payment for the grave to be maintained in perpetuity. My hubby worked in a cemetary for the local council, and these particular graves were maintained. It was usually families who lived a distance away who would have probs tidying up on a regular basis. Hope that helps. Cheers Margaret.

Thanks to everybody for your replies. This grave is a double one in an old part of a cemetery. I am going to write to the Council and ask whether they will be clearing the plot. If not, I will go and see what I can do. Thanks

I have recently found the grave of my great great uncle (a war grave) and had the same situation - the very friendly vicar's wife showed us to the approximate area but it was completely covered by a bush and brambles and holly! After lots of scrapes we managed to find it and I returned a few days later to clear it. This was one of the 'extensions' of the cemetary - 3 acres in size - and all was pretty overgrown. The vicar's wife informed us that this was not a municipal (ple?) cemetary so it was down to the relatives to maintain the graves. She also said that they sometimes have 'youth offenders' come down to clear the war graves (why not all graves? Too big a task?!) so maybe this is something you could suggest to your council or whoever is responsible for the cemetary. Cheryl :o)

You would have to contact the Parish council and/or the vicar. There was a story in tonight's Southern Evening Echo - The council have 'tidied up' graves in a Blackfield (village in Hampshire on the edge of the New Forest) cemetery. They have removed any items on the grave - vases, flowers, plants etc, and in at least 2 cases the 'boundary 'stones and turfed over the graves - in some cases damaging the memorial stones!! I know my ex wasn't allowed, by the vicar, to plant a rose on his parents grave (St Mary Bourne in Hampshire). maggie

I would imagine the split of responsibilties is that you maintain the grave and the Council cuts the grass areas in between graves. Keith

I have always understood that the upkeep of a grave is the responsibility of the family of the deceased. If they don't or can't maintain it, why should its upkeep be at the expense of the public purse?

I suppose this is why most of my ancestors graves are simply head and foot stones now, with all the rest laid to grass. I have seen plenty of headstones in bushes, wonder why they don't keep their older cemeteries tidier? Anyone on here work for the council and could help?

I believe you buy the lease of the plot for so many years and the upkeep is the responsibility of the family whilst that lease is open.after that the plot returns back to the authority owning the cemetary. Last year i went to what was our local cemetery,no longer live in the area, and saw that my elder bros headstone had been removed,he died aged 3 months in 1931. Asked the cemetery supervisor why and was told the headstones had become a hazard and the lease had expired on the plot so was the responsibility of the council and they could decide what to do and no family member had any say now Mum & Dad are no longer with us but I know they would be very upset that this had happened. But there's nothing we can do about it, the Cemetery is closed now to any new burials

hi jan from your name ,near the solent, your probably close to me , we have a couple of plots in portsmouth that the groundsmen only cut up to the boundary of the grave , they will not maintain the grave itself, It's up to the family as far as i know lorraine

Im sure they all have their own rules. We have a family plot at East Finchley (London) which has been there since 1887 and if family dont tend it then it quickly overgrows with ivy and bushes- they don't go near it. Sheila

it might depend on what the terms of the purcase of the plot were. If the person bought the rights for 100 years then I believe that the responcibility would lie with the next of kin. Lunar

Since most local councils are a law unto themselves these days I doubt whether they still accept responsibility for keeping graveyards neat and tidy. No doubt some do and others don't. A bit like verges really. Where they can palm it off as someone else's responsibility then they will. Now you have been in contact with them give them a little while and then get in touch again, and again and again... if need be.M

I have found a grave of mine and according to the cemetery map, it is completely incased in a massive bush. The Council have written to tell me that they will only cut back the bush when time permits but does anybody know whether the Council should keep the grave area maintained, so that the grave can been seen?