Genealogy Chat

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thank you for the interesting reading Carol I always had access to my adoption notes and could go and read them whenever I wanted. I was quite satisfied with the information in there. There was only really one other thing that I would have liked untill my adopted mum died and a few years later I had my own child - who unfortunately for her is the image of me, I wondered away many an hour wondering what members of my birth family looked like. With my daughter looking so much like me it increased my curiousity of who we both looked like. A photo in my notes would have been lovely. I have some contact with foster parents through work and I dont know about councils but I know a lot of the agencies are getting better at putting little books together for children who are in care and will be adopted at some point, about their carers and their birth families and also contact that continues through into the adoption if appropriate. Gives me hope that we're slowly getting better at what once was such an unmentionable taboo

thank you for posting this; i found it very interesting. Sandy x

I think that's an interesting report, although I can't say I feel the same way the interviewed adoptees do about lack of information. Interesting that these adoptees are my age (I was only born in 1984) - they may not have as much information as I do. Probably they don't and I would imagine I am quite a rare case in the sense that I know all about my very early life. Fortunately I was lucky that my parents did file all the information, letters, other documents, baby medical cards etc and I've always known where it is in the house if I wanted to see it. Apparently I used to follow my mum round and (usually in public places) say 'When I was a baby in your tummy . . .', to which she used to reply, 'No, you were never a baby in my tummy' and I probably couldn't have been four or five. In my file is a sheet with some information about my birth parents - names, what they looked like, interests (some of I share, spookily) - so if I wanted to find them, I'd have a good place to start. Ironically, it is because I have that file and because of the information in it that I have no present desire to find my birth parents. Owing to health problems etc at the time of my birth my parents have explained what happened to me, physically speaking, and told me what they were told (they saw the doctor who delivered me at one point) so I know about my early life and, from what I know of my birth parents' relationships and family circumstances at the time, I have a very good idea why I was given up for adoption. Whether it's the right idea or the wrong one, I don't know but I'm content with my own particular theory.

i totally agree with jess.when birth parents are asked about the past they are less forth coming with the truth or they totally deny any of it happening.this comes from my sistuation and may not happen in all cases. bacardi xxx

The only downside i can see is that if B/m are pressed for info that they are reluctant to offer, they'll say what the social worker wants to hear - and that could be whatever pops into her head at the time! on the one occasion that i met mmy birth mother i asked her the name of my father reply - ''i dont know'' when i pointed out that she had an on going relationship with him - ( i knew that) and that she must have known his name - she then told me his name was ''Paddy'' I knew what his name was, i just wanted to hear it from her. she finally told me , but it wasn't easil;y forth coming and she could have told me a total lie, in a made up name

very interesting read,and some very good points for discussion bacardi x

That makes interesting reading Carol. Especially the bit 'If you know what happened you can understand your feelings better. Ann

Adopted children want more information about their birth family and why they were adopted, according to a report. A study by children's rights director for England Dr Roger Morgan says they feel badly informed about the process. Dr Morgan is calling for them to be given more support. He surveyed 208 adopted people, aged from six to 22. In a separate study by the Commission for Social Care Inspection, one out of every two council adoption agencies failed to meet government standards. Meanwhile, the proportion of voluntary adoption agencies meeting the 31 national minimum standards is 73%. The CSCI inspected 45 council and 14 voluntary adoption agencies between April 2003 and March 2006. High staff turnover The commission had concerns about the quality of assessment reports on children in more than one out of every two of the agencies. Many were also failing to recruit skilled and experienced staff, according to its report. It is vitally important adoption agencies engage effectively with birth parents CSCI chief inspector Paul Snell One teen tells of his adoption And high turnover rates and the use of employment agency workers can have a significant effect on the quality of service to the children being adopted. But the report added agencies had generally increased their support to children and their adoptive families, as well as to birth parents. CSCI chief inspector Paul Snell also welcomed a 38% rise in the number of children in care being adopted and the fact agencies 'are recruiting adopters from a wider background'. But he is calling for an improvement in their provision of 'accurate and balanced information to children about their backgrounds'. 'It is vitally important adoption agencies engage effectively with birth parents,' Mr Snell added. Family history Dr Morgan said adopted children 'tell us they need to find out about their birth families so they can get a fuller picture of their backgrounds'. One child told him: 'If you know what happened you can understand your feelings better.' Another said it was important to 'know their history', adding: 'You can't just wipe away parts of somebody's life.' Dr Morgan added: 'It is really important that children are consulted before, during and after the adoption process and given all the information and help they need to be able to settle in with their new family and to make sure the right decisions have been made.' Many of the children felt the process was too lengthy. One said: 'It went on forever and forever.' 'Surplus to requirements' But many also said adoption had made them feel happy and settled. And almost one out of every four said they felt good about joining a new family. Jonathan Rendell, who was adopted as a baby in the 60s, told BBC Radio Five Live that he now had mixed feelings about his decision in adulthood to trace his birth parent. 'I think it does start off with curiosity,' he said. 'I read Mr Morgan's report last night. Laudable though it is to take an interest in a difficult subject, I don't really see the point of it because it's a two-way street. 'And what one comes up against - and I speak... as someone who's gone through the search - is the fact, the elemental fact, that you were surplus to the requirements and really nothing's changed. 'And you really don't know this person.' --------------------------------------------------------------------------------