Genealogy Chat

I'm trying to work out something I really don't understand. I was adopted at four months old, but in my tree I put myself as the child of my adoptive parents because that's who I consider myself to be. I've shared information with other users (allowing it to be put on their tree if they want) but never told them I was adopted, so how exactly can they have found this out? My sister and I were both born in 1984 or afterwards and we are both adopted. I can find myself on the birth index under my birth name but not my adoptive name. Added to which, although I have given my name as Kate in my tree, it isn't actually my full first name. Adoption being quite a sensitive subject, would you expect another to user to ask permission to add this information to their tree before they did it? Kate

If anyone wants to add any living person to thier tree the have to seek that persons consent first regardless of any sensative issues like adoption. With regards to finding your adopted name on the birth index, it simpley will not be there as it is not classed as a birth. Your name and that of you sister will be held in a seperate index of adoptions that is closed to the public, that works in a similar way to that of the birth index.

Kate could they know the details of your birth & adoption from family members? If they have you in their tree there has to be a connection somewhere? Georgina.

I don't see how they could have found out from other family members because none of my immediate family eg. aunts, uncles, cousins etc are on Genes Reunited. The people I'm in contact with on here are at least second and third cousins and I've never met any of them in person. Very confusing.

My birth is under my mother's surname and also under my father's surname, as they married after I was born and at that time ,although I was his child, my father had to adopt me. Hope that makes sense to you. Sunny R

They probably have been talking to other members of the family. You may not know them well but other members of your family probably do.

Just to clear up a point. The index to the Adopted Children Register is available and can viewed in person at the Family Records Centre in London. Children are listed in their adopted names, year of birth (not date of birth) date of entry (onto the register), number of entry and volume number. The actual Adopted Children Register is under lock and key and only available to authorised persons. Cheers Gerry

Kate Tell them to remove you and this information from their tree immediately - and ask them how they came by this information. If they do not remove the information within, say, 48 hours, email genes and ask them to do it for you - they are usually very good about this. Site rules state clearly that you must have the permission of living people to include their details in your tree - they do not have your permission, quite apart from their crass insensitivity. OC

OC Thanks. I think I will do that. You see, although Grandma on my mum's side lived near Newark (as did many of that branch of the family), Grandma wasn't born till 1906. None of my contacts who knew about my great-aunties and great-uncles on that side knew about the last two before I contacted them because the two youngest siblings were born after 1901. The only way they can know this is through information I have provided. I don't mind being included on a contact's tree if I have given them information to link myself to their tree, but the fact that I am adopted doesn't really factor into it as far as I'm concerned. My close family obviously know I'm adopted but, like I say, it's not an issue. I've only ever known myself as Kate Hurst. They don't say, 'This is my adopted niece/cousin etc', they say 'This is my niece/cousin Kate'.

Hi Kate It may simply be that they're looked on the birth registrations and not been able to find you under your name Kate. To my knowledge, the only reason for this is that if a person is adopted, like you and me and lots others, as they will be register under their birth name. Rebecca

How do you know...that they know...that you are adopted? sorry the omly way i could make it make sense was to use .....

Rebecca I can see what you are saying, but I have to say that if I couldn't find someone's birth, I would assume I hadn't looked hard enough, I would not assume that they had been adopted, and even if I did, I wouldn't put my assumtions on my tree! And it is pretty much a 100% certainty that someone born around 1984 is still alive (unless you know different). And living people should not be entered on anyone's GR tree without the express permission of that living individual. OC

Sorry, didnt read all your first message properly. I guess it depends on the relative and your relationship with them. All my birth and adopted family know Im adopted and its never really been an issue. I know on my birth aunties tree her husband has put in the notes that I was adopted as a baby and commented on my name, but maybe thats more because I was born on her birthday and my middle name was her first name, and now my first name as my adoptive mum liked it so much. but if you find their comment hurtful or you do not wish it to be common knowledge then certainly ask them to remove it.

OC maybe I would just come to that conclusion because I know Im not on because Im adopted. But having searched for my birth mums birth registration over and over again on different sites incase one had missed her off, the penny eventually dropped that she had been adopted too, but as it later turned out, by her step father and along with her 2 younger sisters. From Kate's info I thought she had given her permission to be on their trees, it was the adoption info that had been included that was the offending part. R

Just wanted to update - I still have access to this person's tree so I went back to it to see if the information was still there. All my great-aunties and great uncles (bar one, who I have a death date for) are down as Living Relation now (although they are all dead - the most I know is that they died somewhere in the 1960s), including all living people from that date. I can still locate myself and, although it says I am adopted, my name is down as Living Relative. Also, I don't include birthdays for any living people. As far as I'm concerned I know them already so I don't need to add them, but there's no real need for anyone else to know them.