Genealogy Chat

Kirsten, I would have done just the same as yourself. And if he's getting annoyed about things he has a different agenda than you have. Have no more to do with him. Kept.

I think at the end of the day, we should do what we feel comfortable with. If you are not comfortable with someone copying your entire tree, then don't give him or her sight of it. Rudeness is not permitted on G.R., so if you say no, that should be the end of the matter. I have now been in touch with just about everyone on this site who has an interest in the names in my tree. Only a very small few have chosen to use anything but a small amount of my information in their tree, and then only those bits which they relate to directly. I am quite happy researching other people’s lines as well, provided they have some sort of connection to my own research. Just a couple of weeks ago I did some work for a couple in Australia where the wife is descended from a well known Liverpool name who we have close connections by marriage. It turns out that theirs is a different line to ours - at least so far - but this makes it no less interesting. I emailed them a tree and report with some twenty additional family covering the 1800's, for which they were delighted. They had asked to see my tree on here, but there is no point, as we have no connection. I have more than 300 contacts listed, and have shared information on my tree with more than half. Sometimes I let them access my tree on the site, other times it is by email, or both - it all depends on the circumstances. Only twice have I come across what appears to be a name grabber and in both cases simply deleted the contact and had nothing further to do with them. Most people are well behaved and sensible and making contacts and sharing information, for me at least, is all part of my enjoyment of the hobby.

Personally I've made it a rule here that I always ask before adding (obviously), I always double check what's been added as fully as possible, and I never add anyone under the age of eighteen, regardless of how close related or whether permissions been given. I have had similar experience to your in as much as when I first joined a fairly distant cousin did add my living relatives to his tree, including my father who he would probably never have even met. Not really bothered by this though, as he obviously wanted to add detail to his tree (I've done likewise!), and surely anyone interested would mail us both anyway, and he'd presumably point them in my direction? I do see why though people may feel uncomfortbale with seeing their 'close' relatives on other peoples trees, who are not close relations, and understand and respect the wishes of those people. I do feel though the real problem here was not he wanted to do, but the way he went about it. He was rude towards another member and disrepectful of another members wishes. One would hope the admin of the site here would take such things seriously, and I certainly feel it should be reported.

I don't think they r naming others relatives as theres,just expanding their tree.....but i do think other people should always ask before doing so.

Richard, I have put my mother and father on this site but someone once put my parents on here too. Now my parents are both dead but why put them on this site twice? Surely if there were any queries about my parents, I would have much fuller information about them than a second cousin or a second cousin once removed. Now if they put my parents into an offline tree, that is a different matter. It's not a question of thinking we 'own' our relatives but surely most people will know their own parents better than a third party. Cheers, Horatia

I agree it's bizarre they would want to go to time and effort doing this for people who are barely any relation to them at all, but personally I can't say it would particularly bother me, as long as the relatives in question are no longer living. Of course I accept other people are fully entitled to feel different, you should always ask first, and wouldn't dream of reacting so rudely as this 'gentleman' did if I didn't get the answer I'd hoped for.

Richard, When I used the term 'name collectors' I meant that some people will copy names from your tree even though they are NOT related to them! For example, if I showed someone my tree because they were related to my father, there should be no need for them to claim my mother's parents or grandparents as their relations; but some people WILL DO THIS! Gawd knows why! Personally I don't want anyone on my tree who isn't related to me in some way! Cheers, Horatia

Kirsten it's your tree, and who you show it to, if anyone, entirely your business and entirely your decision. You should not be abused by anyone for that, you've given this person the relevent info, and they've responded in an extremely ungreatful and rude way. I'd personally report them and have no further contact with them. I will say though, not in anyway in defence of him, rudeness is totally inexusable, I don't however share the opinion on 'name collectors'. Names of our ancestors don't 'belong' to us after all. I have 500 names here, and 900 on my tribal pages tree. As long as I can tick the hide living relatives box I'm quite happy for people to copy all of these, if they so wish, and would hope they would do the same. That said regardless it is a matter of opinion, and you should certainly not be abused by anyone for not feeling the same way. Def. report this person!

Thanks Horatia, I feel better, I was so insensed that this person had the nerve to insult me. I just can't see the benefit in them viewing my entire tree for one name. I'm hoping he'll apologise, but I doubt it. Kirsten

Hi Kirsten, Yes, I came under attack for the same reason. I never open my tree to anyone apart from my third cousin. I just send interested parties a report from my family tree programme about the relevant relations. I don't want to show anyone my whole tree - there are too many name collectors out there! Don't take any notice. He is just trying to make you cave in. If he gets abusive report him to GR and they will block him. Cheers, Horatia

Some horrible person has had a rant at me in a PM about how I won't let them see my tree. One of his distant aunts married of my distant uncles, and considering I know nothing more on her I don't think it's wise for them to see my entire tree for just one person. I gave them all the info I had on the person and we left it at that and then suddenly out of the blue this person starts saying I'm in the wrong game and sitting on information. Am I in the wrong? I don't think there's anything for him to see other than the name of his relation. I'm so angry that this person has insulted. Anyone else had this? Kirsten