Genealogy Chat

At last I find a hot match that might be right. I have little on this individual, but send what I know to the other party,and ask if we have a match. I give the names of two parents both with unusual names. The response: 'Can I have more information please?' What is wrong with these people who can't even say yes or no to a simple question? I'm not asking for a whole family history!!! How much more information does such a moron need to be able to tell me if it's worth pursuing or not? What harm could possibly be done by answering the question? So here's my tip. Whenever you get a hot match, state in your message, 'I have no more information than this.' Chances are you'll then get no response at all, but that's got to be better than having to put up with such stupidity.

Hi Paul, I'm wondering if the response you got is one of the automatic ones offered by GR and you just have to tick the box??

Don't let it get to you. I had one very similar to you, and I don't know if it was delibrately done or not, I was never given the chance to look at their tree. Forget them and delete all contact with them. Good luck in your search. Linda

What bugs me is the fact that it shows the place names where your 'hot matches' are born in so you can decide whether to contact that person or not, so why oh why do I keep getting so many people contacting me going 'Oh we have a match, my John Brown born 1850 in Perth, Scotland' and I'm like 'Sorry no match, mine was born in Wales...' How hard is it to just check before they contact you?? Or also people who send me messages like 'Sorry Alex my John Brown was born in Yorkshire' as if I have contacted them but they are just responding to the automated hot matches email... It just wastes my time!! *Frustrated* Alex

Hi Paul, I think we may have the same people in our tree as I contacted the same person lol. Maybe I will send you a can I see your tree first though, with no info LOL Mel

...or you get a message, is this a match blah blah with a please please respond, you send one back and hear nothing. I can't work it out! Elaine

I hate it when you put in all the info you have, then you never get a reply. I have dozens & dozens of 'prospective' matches on my contacts list, that are waiting for someone to say yes we have a match or 'sorry this is not my relative'. As you say, a simple yes or no would suffice!

Maybe this person has had problems before where someone has copied people from their tree etc and is now just extra careful. Don't let it get to you. Just reply and tell them that's all the info you have and if they don't reply then it's their loss if it was a match.

Paul, there are a couple of very unusual names in my tree and if somebody contacted me about them to ask if we had a match I would ask for more information before telling them what I knew or letting them look at my tree. The reason is that those people have a complicated story which I'm not sure if all their descendants are aware of, and it might come as a shock to them if they just saw the full story without being prepared for it! I wouldn't use the 'automatic reply' though, but presumably it is just easier for some people to use it, for example, if they are short on time or not very good at typing. Kate.