Genealogy Chat

Morning all, My grandfather left his family leaving 5 children back in 1935. No one has ever mentioned him, i wrote to my aunt and she told me not to ask about him as no one is interested. I have since found that he remarried and had another daughter, who is still alive. I have her address, do you think i should contact her, ot best left alone? Sally

Hi Sally, This is a difficult one is'nt it. Are you apprehensive because of how your own family may re act? Julie

Hi Julie, not so much apprehensive, but dont want to cause any upset, just in case she never knew about her fathers past

Sally, I would go for it, after all she is a decendant of your Grandfather. You have nothing to lose really, and you may even gain another family member.I have a brother who i never knew about until my late 20s... as it turns out he had been looking for my dad for years, it was amazing. Julie

Your right Julie, i am going to put pen to paper right now, like you say have nothing to lose, thanks for replying, Sally

Sally You could write and tell her you're doing family history and her name has come up as being the daugher of Mr X - what does she know of the family. Hopefully this will open up a line of communication which will give you clues if she knows about the 'other' family. Best wishes Snowdrops

Thanks for your reply snowdrop, i have just wrote her a letter, hopefully all will be ok, fingers crossed, Sally

I would contact in the way that Snowdrop suggests. Once you've gauged the reaction, you can decide whether or not to reveal more. From experience, I would suggest that you don't mention the contact to the side of your family who want to leave well alone. Gwyn

Fingers crossed for you Sally. Snowdrops

Good luck Sally. I think that Snowdrop is right - if you approach it from the family history perspective you may even find that she was aware.

It's a difficult one. A friend of mine some years ago was very hestitant about the initial contact having located his mother but eventually he did. He has since been to see her and her family and it all went well. Sadly she died soon after but at least he had met her and now is a member of her family. He could have left it too late.....thankfully he didn't. I've been chewing over whether to make a phone call or write to several people who just might (and I emphasise the might) be my first husbands siblings. He died in the early 70's and its only been recently that I've looked into it. I discovered his adopted family knew a few details about his birth family, names etc. and a bit of background so I could fill in a few gaps for my children. But now I'm drawing a line under it . I'm afraid of causing any hurt to the remaining family and my children are happy for things to stay as they are. They know more about their father now and that is all they wanted. I wish you luck.......................go for it

Just want to say thanks for everyones advice. Have wrote a letter, and it has been sent, will keep you posted, many thanks, Sally