Genealogy Chat

see below:

Hi all, I keep seeing messages from people saying my 'loved one' died ... years ago today etc., - I don't mean to sound disrespectful - we all function in different ways. I just wondered if I am a little strange in that I don't know the dates when any of my 'loved ones' have died - It's not that I don't care, and it's not that I don't remember them, it's just that I seem to purpously 'block out' the actual dates so that I don't have to sit there on a certain day feeling sad !!!!!!!! Does that make sense to anyone or am I really strange? Dea x

Thanks Gillian, I think that is why I have always blotted it out - I don't want to remember how and when they went, just who and how they were when they were here???? Dea x

I am more inclined to remember a loved ones birthday than their date of death....and think of them on their birthday. I have the dates of death on my tree, but could only tell you the date for my dad without peeking......his I only remember because it was my gran's birthday and my g-grandfather's birthday too. Merry

My husband's view of those sort of anniversaries is that he usually thinks of his parents at least once a day. Something funny happens, or he has a good result from some special flower or vegetable etc. He then just for a moment catches himself thinking 'Dad would be interested in that' or ' that would amuse Mum', and, for that brief moment, he forgets that they have gone.Dad has been gone for 24 years now, and Mum for five, so it is not a thing that passes with time, nor do we want it to, it is nice to keep the warm feeling of how it was to share things with them often. We do not need just one day to think of them. His feelings about wedding anniversaries are the same, we are together all the time, not just on one day a year. I used to find this lack of 'anniverseries' odd, as my mother was very careful to observe them all, but I think now that my husband's way is nicer. Eileen