Genealogy Chat

Thankyou all so much for your messages of support and understanding. I thought I was alone but now I see I'm not! What an understanding lot you all are. OXO to all of you. (OXO= hugs n kisses) I only looked back at this message cos some of you sent me PMs....It's nice to know I'm not alone. Thankyou! I do feel better now but I also know I need to take a short break from dealing with dead folk. I do love this infuriating hobby but right now....I need to take a break. TTFN Happy searching... Gerri xxx

I don't have any children and I'm researching my mother's side of the family. She's been dead nearly 40 years and my father isn't interested as they were divorced before her death and my brothers and sister are from his 2nd marriage so consequently she's 'just' a name to them. However, I've discovered my Mum's Mum had tons of relatives I never knew existed. I've uncovered - and continue to uncover scandal after scandal! I've also met some relatives I get on very well with. I was totally devasted when my marriage ended after 17 years and family history research has given me the boost I needed. So what if I've no-one to pass my tree on to - I'm having a great time and there are some fabulous and helpful people on this board. Lyndsey

Geri sorry that you are feeling down. have you considered lodging a copy of your research with the Family history Society that covers some of your tree? Particulary if you have it on a CD so it wont take up too much space, but it might be worth exploring the posibilities so that your research doesn't go to waste. Ann Glos

I hope things get better for you soon, Gerri. Take care. I take a break now and again. However, I have no children (interested or otherwise) and am the youngest of the generation, but I don't CARE! I'm doing this for my own benefit, I'm lucky in that my Mum and sisters are interested, and don't 'glaze over' when I talk about it, I have gained lots of pleasure from my research and discovered things I might never have even thought about a few years ago. And yes I have shed tears too, many times.

Gerri, I'm so sorry for your loss and in a way I understand. It can be hard doing this as basically we are looking at dead people and their lives and that can be hard enough as it is, without adding our personal lives into it. I realised one day that I was, and had been, very depressed for a few weeks. It took me a while to realise that it was because I had found a greataunts death certificate. Commonsense would tell me she had died, even though my parents neglected to tell me. I had never met her, I'm in Aust, she was in England, but she had been someone my Dad had talked about my whole life. It was a shock to my system to see the death entry. I had to stop for a while and come back to it. Reading the other posts on here, you are not alone, a lot of people will be more than willing to hear your latest find. Keep telling your kids also. My sister nearly came on an rellie hunt the other day, if it hadn't have required a night away she would have come and she wants nothing to do with the tree. Your kids will hear something and get involved, just give them time. Take care and look after yourself Toni

Gerri, So sorry to hear your news, it can take sometime to get over such grief and return to 'normality', nothing in your leagure, but I lost a very close friend a few years back to cancer and then 18 months later when I had come to terms with it I lost my best friend also to cancer, it knocked me for six. Take a break and recoup, do try to carry on it would be such a shame to not continue your research, and one day there maybe someone who will apprecite all you have done and show an interest. In the mean time I would be happy to share any successes or failures with you. I love family history and find other peoples stories just as interesting as mine. so if ever you want to scream with joy yes!!! or noooooo!! just PM me Hope you feel better soon Fuzzy x

Gerri Sometimes we all get disheartened and need to do something different for a while, but don't feel that this is the end, it is a temporary blip, you will start getting withdrawal symptoms after a while away from it! As for your kids throwing all your research away as 'rubbish' once you pop your clogs - don't you believe it. They will put it all away in a box in the loft, because it is something that their Mum loved doing and they will remember how you used to talk to them about it. Then, when they get a bit older, they will suddenly discover that they are interested in their ancestors as well (it does seem to be something that comes to most of us as we mature), and they will get that box down out of the loft and gloat over it, and email all their ancestor-hunting buddies about all the information you have left them, and their buddies will go green with envy. Take care, have a rest from it, and then come back with renewed vigour. Tina

Oh, Gerri, I am so sorry to read of your losses. I am the youngest, and I have no children. So what will become of my family history research I have no idea .... but I do it because I love it! I love to ''walk in their footsteps'', to see where they were, to imagine it all. Take care, Joy

Gerri My thoughts are with you with your losses. But take heart your research will be useful. Hubby and each married for the 2nd time seven years ago. I had done a little family history prior to this. Both my seconds husbands parents had died before I came on the scene. Over the last few years with research being much more available Ive done as much on my hubbies side of the tree.Ive looked through his parents diaries etc from the 1920s, that hubby had kept. One of the notes in his mums notebook is. ' Who will love my bits and pieces, the photos and drawings of my family etc when Im gone as no one in the family is interested' Needless to say I cried when I saw this. But Im proud to say its me the daughter in law she didnt know or meet, who has love and affection for her possesion diaries memories and ancestry and not only her but her husband as well. In the words of my hubbie. We probably know more of my parents and ancestors their lives and their backgrounds than they ever did. Best Wishes Sue

I don't have anyone else in the family interested either, but I thought I'd try to file my findings somewhere where my cousins descendents might be able to access them one day. I came across a potentially confusing situation with one of my mother's uncles that I sorted only because of the memories SHE has, and a couple of old newspaper clippings. Her uncle emigrated to USA in 1887, and I know of 2 generations of his family over there, including a chap who was a Lt Col in the US army, and also founded a large steel company. The problem is, if you follow the UK census, this chap disappears between the 1881 & 1891 censuses. We know its cos he emigrated. But there is also a death registered in 1885 for a chap of the same name & age, who was also living in the same street. I'd hate to think a future researcher would confuse the two, and miss out on our illustrious American connection!

Gerri, sorry to hear you're feeling down, Nell's idea sounds good - sending your tree to a place where it can be found & consulted by anyone that takes the trouble to look. Have a good rest and grieve your losses - one day you'll wake up feeling better - I hope it's soon, we'll miss you on here ! Sarah :-)

Gerri I am sorry to hear that you are feeling low. Sometimes I ask myself what the point of my family history is as neither of my sons are interested and nor is my childless brother. But - who knows, one day in the future, I might have a great-granddaughter (I think its bound to be a female descendant) who is fascinated by what I have done. Before that I intend to send copies of my tree to the library at the Society of Genealogists as I have lots of info on families that married into mine and who knows who might benefit. I also want to write short booklets about individual family branches and send them to the relevant records offices, local history centres and libraries. Your family will continue through your family tree. Hope you feel more cheerful later on. Nell

Gerri I thought i hadn't heard from you for a while. So sorry to hear your story. I did miss you,one of my few partners in mirth on the boards. Come back soon Glenxx

I have stopped contributing to the boards, for now... After losing 1st my Mum then shortly afterwards my Sister, I find that this Family reasearch is making me GLUM! It's time to take a rest... Eg:-....If and when I find something, I find I have no-one to share it with! (I'm the last one of my generation) I'm the yougest of my family and the last one left. I feel like giving up... I've printed off my tree and it's 16 pages long... Whats the point of carrying on? My kids just say...'thats nice' and I know that all my hardwork will be just cast aside as 'RUBBISH'......(when I pop me cloggs) What will become of my Flippin Matilda!?....My Daniel Overs/Hovers/Hovard? Matilda's step sons?...Chas and Able? Was my Matilda's maiden name Parkes or Powell? I have grown to love these peeps, espesially my flippng Matilda.... I look at the grave stone of my grandmother 'Annie Matilda Ford nee overs' and think 'what a much loved woman Matilda must have been... Matilda was my grandmothers Grandmother.Married three times and never registered her middle marriage children! ( my lot! or the marriage!) 1st married(or not) a Horton then a John Poole then another Horton which I suspect was a brother of the 1st Horton. Anyway!....I'm taking a break. Keep up the good work you lot... Maybe I'll come back when I have adjusted... Gerri xxx

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