Genealogy Chat

Joan no, you're not alone! if i had a penny for every promise i've been made to be sent information (after ME giving information and my email address) i would be very rich indeed! You harden up to it after a while! Don't feel too down hearted about it and never give up! michelle

Joan, I always share what I have, if requested for it, leaving out some living relatives that have asked me not to share their information with others. However, nowadays when receiving stuff I will try and acknowledge receipt. I Have been caught a couple of times when thought there was a link and then on closer inspection found that the assumption we had both made was wrong. Therefore, I then take time to read through the new information and try and do some checking before inputting the data into my tree. I then produce various reports and then send them back to the originator. As you can image this all takes time. So try not to get disillusioned when somebody takes time to reply to your contacts. Kevin

You are a new member, and will very quickly realise that there are many members out there who want a 'ready-made' tree - at your expense. You suggest allowing all members who request to view your tree.......if you do this, you will find your tree 'cobbled' onto other members trees! MY advice, is if a member makes contact, and you feel there is a connection with your tree - give them no more than 2 names, and request to see their tree. If they are genuine, they will respond accordingly. Good luck in your research - have fun. And finally, there are many genuine members out there - all willing to help you - not only to trace your ancestors, but to give help and support. The message boards are an excellent place to meet such nice people. David

That sounds very sensible advice, Judith Many thanks Joan

Joan, Don't give up on that last contact. He may have decided to add your info to his tree on a his computer in which case perhaps he has just deleted his tree in readiness for uploading the updated one. I do think sometimes I used to be guilty of sending too much info all at once to new contacts who then felt that they had nothing to offer in return or ought to wait until they could send something new to me so there would be no return contact for ages. Nowadays I send just a small amount of detail about our mutual relatives and offer more once we have exchanged messages.

Thanks all for your replies. I think I will continue as before, and open my tree to anyone who is interested, and give out what info I have - it seems churlish not to do this - and just accept the fact that some people may not reciprocate. I sent loads of info, copy certificates, photos etc to someone who is obviously related and gave me access to his/her tree - there were then 19,388 people in the tree - when I looked at it a few hours later, there was one person in it!!!! Joan

Cheer up Joan. Two days isn't long at this time of year - holidays, kids breaking up from school, PC playing up, illness etc etc. I know it's frustrating but life goes on as they say!!!! Janice

Thanks, Jeanne Fealing more positive now Joan

Hi Joan, don't get down hearted, iv been on this site for two years and it's only recently iv had any real contacts.You will get some good contacts just hang on there, they are well worth waiting for. Gill

Hi Joan You might find as I have, that even sharing info with cousins proves a waste of time. My experience with my direct family is that they want to trace the tree, so long as I do all the research, tell and share my results. I have had better info and input from this board than with family. Jeanne

Thanks for your encouraging words, Deborah. I will persist! Joan

No Joan your not alone there are many like your goodself and I who feel genealogy of ones family is for sharing and so give give give....... there are also many that just take take take. I now just find out which line/branch they are related ( trying ever so hard NOT TO GET TOO EXCITED - easier said than done I know ) and spoon feed them the information asking questions as I go along etc.. this way it becomes two sided. I do know of some researchers who will actually give one or two dates incorrectly or no birth/death place etc so that it maybe questioned by the reciever later on. Chin up and keep thinking positively .......... because there is far more joy in giving than recieving :))

I am relatively new to all this, but when I started about 3 months ago had an excellent result with a contact in NZ, who has been realy helpful. Since then, it's been downhill! I send info to matches who never even acknowledge it ( although they have contacted me in the first place), and then it seems they add it to their own trees. I don't understand. If I have found info, then the obvious thing is to share it with anyone who is interested, rather than be 'precious' about it - am now really fed up as was contaacted 2 days ago by what seemed a really promising match and I sent loads of info, but no reply. Silly, but I feel a bit weepy ( maybe that's too strong) because had really built up my hopes on this. Am I alone in this? Joan in Sussex