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Would you contact them?

ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

John

John Report 14 May 2006 12:36

See below

John

John Report 14 May 2006 12:38

Hi all, i'm after some advice really, and know there are some great people on here who could advise on whether or not I should contact someone who is not directly related but may know more about what happened to a relative of mine. After the death of my 2 times great grandfather, his wife remarried in 1935 aged 56, her 2nd husband was quite a lot younger than she was, and I have a feeling that they married in order to get my grandmother (my 2 times great grandmothers granddaughter) out of the orphanage she'd been placed in 5 years earlier (her mother had also died), I think this as I've been told that children stayed at this orphanage until the age of 14, but we found that she came out of there aged 11. Anyway, sorry to ramble, after the death of my 2 times great grandmother, her second husband remarried in 1951. I was just casually looking through electoral registers from Scotland, not believing that i'd find any reference to this man, but we found someone with the same name (although there weren't any middle initials) and someone living with him with the same name as his second wife. These people would be roughly in their mid 90s now. And I am unsure whether to write to the man, as I don't want to give him a heart attack. What do others think? Thanks.

Charlie chuckles

Charlie chuckles Report 14 May 2006 12:54

It's worth a try, if you have an address it might be worth writing first and explaining. I contacted a cousin of my mums who I had never met, but who I knw had loads of photos belonging to a mutual uncle. He was surprised, but only too happy to share what info he had and he let me copy loads of th photos!

Val wish I'd never started

Val wish I'd never started Report 14 May 2006 12:57

Its a problem when the people are old as they get worried easily if a stranger approaches them ,I personally would write a letter to them , make it short and enclose a stamped addressed envelope as thats another thing they dont like to do .I usually say something like if you dont want to be in contact with me thats fine but would you please just say no, as I would then know its the right family thank you. and good luck

RStar

RStar Report 14 May 2006 13:18

I was in your position 7 yrs ago, I needed to find my dads ex wife...as she was the only person who could tell me where my dad was...who I hadnt seen since I was tiny, due to a jealous stepfather. I finally found her via her parents, and wrote a letter just asking her to call me and reverse the charges. She called and didnt know who I was. When I told her, she was in floods of tears (HAPPY TEARS THO!!!) saying that she'd wanted to adopt me all those yrs ago, as my mum had emotional probs (which is true), and tht she thought of me every yr on my birthday. Through her, I found my dad plus 5 siblings I didnt know existed!! Most of them were at my wedding in 2005. So I'd say Go For It!!

Keptin

Keptin Report 14 May 2006 13:29

Hi, If I was you Id see if they had any children and then try and contact one of them and see how or if they can help you.

Helen

Helen Report 14 May 2006 13:31

T'other way round, I know, but I was contacted last year by a lovely man. His Dad had been adopted by my G Grandad's brother. Although we were not directly related, he sent me lots of photo's of his 'Aunties and Uncles' who really were my ancestors and not his. There was a lovely family photo of my GG Gran with six of her boys. Unforunately my Nan (95,bless) has bad eyesight now and is unable to pick out which is her Dad but I know he's on there somewhere. Your elderly couple my really enjoy sharing some old memories and if they aren't interested they don't have to respond to your letter and you would know not to try and contact them again.

Lisa J in California

Lisa J in California Report 14 May 2006 13:36

Hi Helen. You've probably thought of this, but could you enlarge the photo? I did that once (using a photocopier) and it made the images so much easier to see.

John

John Report 14 May 2006 13:44

Thanks all for the replies. We have tried checking to see if this couple had any children and doing things that way, but it doesn't seem there were any children from that marriage. The only reason i'm holding off, as I said is because of the age, but as this man isn't actually related to me I thought that writing about my ancestors would be the best thing to do maybe, not mentioning his first marriage, but just saying something along the lines that the family apparently knew a such and such a person in such a place, and if they knew this person and had any memories of the family would they mind sharing any memories. Once again thanks. John