Genealogy Chat

I had a message today from a guy that merely said, "WHO AM I?" The man had a surname that I have in my tree, but I did at least give him the courtesy of a reply, despite his initial contact being so curt. I mean, how on earth would I know who he is without anyone supporting information? There are some strange people out there.

It dose not hurt to be nice I'v been here for about a month now and have made dozens of contacts just by saying Hi (normaly with a few dozen other words added) In one respect I am lucky with the line i'm chaseing at the moment I know that a hit on that name there is a 99% chance they are related so I add lots of my detailes to any massage. But a little info on your self will get a better responce than "Can I Have Your Tree" It don't hurt to be nice.

Thanks alot Jane I appreciate that and yes I will be careful in the future Cheers Bev

Bev, When you contact someone via GenesRe you generally get some tick boxes at the bottom of the screen - where you can select if on the 'first date' you want to allow them to see your tree. If you are already in contact with someone who you later wish to look at your tree, you need to 'review your tree permissions' - it's part of the 'Your Contacts' menu I think .... have a prod around, you'll see it ... it gives you 'toggling' options about permiting disabling access. At this early stage, it's probably fine to let people just look at what you have - but do be cautious in the future because you are certain to discover potentially sensitive info which in careless hands could upset others - maybe not you, but those around you. Generally, the 'family history community' is a very helpful, friendly one - it's just the odd one or two who spoil it. Regs Jane

Jane are you a mind reader? I was just thinking "what goes around comes around" and blow me down you've written it. I really enjoy doing this research even though it's soooo frustrating at times. I'm v.determined though always have been and now that I'm semi-retired it's something that keeps me out of mischief - shouts from the family "get's you into mischief you mean". Hahaha. Jan

I have had the same thing happen but did not remember contacting them and found no contact in my in box. I contacted GR and found that it was some silly quirk of the site. They did explain it to me but I confess it went straight over my head. Any way, what I am trying to say that it might not be a fault of the person you contacted. Regards Ellen

How do I go on about releasing my tree. Im new to this so there isnt that much on it but I wouldnt like to prevent anybody from looking at it if requested Thanks Bev

Jan, Don't worry your twigs will eventually unite - and at that point you'll find you will certainly be giving more than you get! I believe that 'what goes around, comes around' - someone helps you one day, you help someone else sometime later. Equally, people usually get their just desserts (did I spell that right? ... I didn't mean apricot cheesecake instead of treacle sponge) - it's just that we're not always there to witness it! Hope you are enjoying growing your twigs .... Regs Jane

I've often wondered that too Dave. Since mine are twigs rather than a tree just yet there's not much they can learn from me but nevertheless it's been hard work getting there. I've had loads of help from people and I hope I've given the same in return but I feel a bit disgruntled when I get an e-mail out of the blue asking to see my tree (haha) and because I ask for a bit more info I get a blank. That's rude (and suspicious). Of course, maybe I'm a bit of a cynic too - but I prefer to think I'm more of a realist. Jan

Oh Zoe, Do stop flirting with David ... I just cleaned up my message so as not to be suggestive and now you just blew it! Keep taking the medicine ... or doesn't bromide work for women? Jx

Lin, Yep, know what you mean - had a few 'funnies' recently myself. Lots of non-repliers all round really - in fact, I m' so fed up with it that I would probably dump my sub next time it's due, but I am genuinely looking for descendants of two quite close family lines. Perhaps I'm getting cautious and cynical in my old age, but I also don't give out info before I know who I'm talking to. Communication is a two-way thing - I do enough talking to myself as it is. I hadn't thought about David's line of thinking ... it might be professional genealogists trying to take a short cut. Interesting one! I just wonder if we're just doing it wrong and they think we're not nice people or something - or that we'll turn up on their doorsteps and demand our cut of the inheritance or something! Keep smiling! Jane

oooh - David. and you always came across as SO huggable.

Not odd just rude. I've had several members contact me seeking a possible name link, I give as much detail as possible on the name I have, in one case quite a lot. The response, a curt 'not mine' and in one case just 'no'. If a link later turns up will I tell them, what do you think ? ................. I wonder how many professional genealogist use these pages? ....... so much easier to get someone else to do your work for you. dave slightly cynical today.

Lin I would find that a bit rude. I would rather correspond with someone about the name then just ask to see their tree. But I suppose everyone is different. Pat x

It is slightly naive to assume that you will give access to your tree without any correspondence. Since the new messaging system at GR where we no longerknow a users email I always insist on someone giving me an email address before allowing them access. I know it doesnt actually give me any extra level of protection when it comes to the security of data in my tree but it makes me feel better

I have been in contact with come via Name Search and have ask if they are connected via a certain surname and area. I did not get a reply, but have had a request for them to see my tree even before saying hello I'm so and so etc etc Do you think it's rude to just presume I would give them permission without the slightess clue if we are connected. Lin