Genealogy Chat

Just wondered if anyone has any opinions to offer on the following. My Mum, Ruth, always told me that her mother Gladys had told her that Gladys' mother Emma had died when Gladys was about 7 and that Gladys didn't remember anything about her. I remember thinking this was a bit odd as most 7 year olds memories aren't that bad, and that you would certainly remember your own mother. But I got the impression that Emma had been ill for ages and possibly because she had TB that she would have been kept away from Gladys. My mother also says she remembers Gladys telling her that she and Emma's husband went to visit Emma at the Royal Sea-Bathing Hospital in Margate. This involved me in a lot of research and paying someone to trawl through patients' records looking for Emma - who wasn't there. Finally I was surprised to discover Emma on the 1901 census, not dead. So I did what I should have done in the first place and looked for her death. When I got the certificate sure enough she died of TB "of 3 years duration" as it said on the cert. But my grandmother Gladys wasn't 7 then, she was 11. Surely she would have remembered her mother a bit? And who was the mysterious invalid patient they visited in Margate? Of course Gladys is now dead and my mother is not sure what she remembers Gladys remembering! Helen

A few thoughts - 1) if Emma got TB when Gladys was 7 or 8 and immediately went away, then she might have 'died' so far as Gladys was concerned 2) Gladys my have made a mistake about who and where she visited 3) vague memories of a parent are not that unusual. I have some very clear memories before I was 6 or 7 but only some very vague ones regarding my mother at that age and younger. I know other people whose experiences are similar. Hope you sort out the puzzle!

Helen, my grandfather told my mum that his dad's side was originally French (I think his grandfather was supposed to have been the one from France). Supposedly, they left France to live in England only long enough to anglicize the name then immediately sailed for Canada. Turns out that both sides of the family lived in England at least 4 generations. I write down everything people tell me, but don't believe it until I find proof. Felicity brought up some good points. Also, perhaps there were a lot of family members around at that time and perhaps Gladys can only remember aunts or other female family members helping out. I would be interested to hear about your results, if you find something. PS Perhaps Gladys and her father visited Emma's mother? If Emma had TB, she surely wouldn't have been allowed to visit with anyone, so that could leave her daughter and husband to do the visiting. (Hope I got the family names correct.) Also, quite a few of my male ancestors used their middle names and a few females did as well. Was there anyone at the hospital with her last name?

Hallo Helen, I am interested in the comments about records for the Royal Sea Bathing hospital. I discovered a death in Margate of an unknown reletive I think he may have died at the hospital. Where did you find these records? Memories are funny things.I've just found 6 siblings of my g- grandmother. All the family had thought her an only child!! Cheers Heather

Thank you all for your thoughts. I know memories play funny tricks. Emma's mother lived all her life in Cornwall, but Gladys did have an aunt whom I have only just discovered died when Gladys was quite young. I've just sent off for the death cert. maybe she was at Margate. One day maybe I will find out more. Heather the records of the Royal Seabathing Hospital, Margate are at the East Kent Archives Centre Enterprise Zone Honeywood Road Whitfield Dover Kent CT16 3EH. Tel:01304 829306 e: eastkentarchives[atsign]kent*gov*uk (replace * with . www*kent*gov*uk Helen

Thanks for that Helen. Now I should be able to sort out at least one of my mysteries! Cheers Heather

Helen When I started doing my family tree I was loking for my grandfather's death record, believing he died when I was about 10. I couldn't find it so asked my brother for confirmation and discovered he died when I was 16! Just shows how the memory plays tricks on us. Hope you solve your mystery. Lynne

Lynne Thanks for that. Isn't it odd how our memories are often so strong that we disbelieve the facts when confronted with them? I heard a good quote the other day - the shortest pencil is more reliable than the longest memory. How true! Helen

That's a good one Helen!