Genealogy Chat

Does anyone know how i can find my birth mother.Iam adopted and dont know the first thing about how to go about it.The only advice i have received is this website,although it might prove helpful i thought id try other ideas aswell but dont know what or were.Like most of the population im not that rich (quite the opposite) and would like to know the cheapest route.So please anyone with any information however small or stupid you may think it is please let me know as i havent a clue, thankyou louise x x

Hi Louise Just seen you message and wanted to wish you good luck babe. Don't know much about these things but can you not try social services, don't they have an adoption policy nowadays. Either that or post some details on the records site, some one may know a bit more, the people on G.C are a very helpfull bunch and know a lot as well. Good luck sweetheart i hope all turns out well for you Jan

Hi Louise, You do have a right to know who your birth parent is, but NOT the right to meet them UNLESS they want to meet you. Go to your local Social Services ( Adoption Department ) they will tell you who you need to speak to and they will help you. They may ask for your birth details ... area etc, even if your no longer in your birth district, your local one should tell you what to do and how to go about it. Good Luck ... I'll be thinking about you. Elaine :-)

Hi Louise I've been down this route myself in the past two years. You really need to have some support in place, as it can unearth emotions you didn't even know you had - plus there is always the possibility of rejection. First things first - contact your local social services office; if you were adopted before 1975 you need a compulsory counselling session, but not if you were adopted after 1975. They will also give you a form to apply for your original birth certificate. They recommended NORCAP to me; this is a national adoption organisation/charity who do marvellous work. You do need to pay, but it's not very expensive and once you're a member you have access to their counsellors. They will also do any searching (for a reduced fee) and will act as a go-between so that you don't need to make the first direct contact. They will also give you lots of help and advice. If you want to know any more, please do email me and I'll try to help. I'd like to wish you every success in your search and a successful outcome. Best wishes, Mandy :)

Ok Don't spend any money except perhaps to obtain your original birth certificate. You sound quite young so must stress that you should be counselled before embarking on finding her/them. The people who do this understand the problems on the three sides of an adoption - child - natural parents - adoptive parents - its very emotional for all concerned (I didn't think so until it happened to me). First port of call would be the adoption society/social services department from where you were adopted. They will go through your file with you and can give you loads of information (whether its right or not is another question). Is there a Post Adoption Service in your area - there is the WMPAS in Birmingham who will give you advice on how to aprroach it and the pro's and cons of various options. Emotionally its unwise to do this alone - you need to talk to someone about it and talk it through each step of the way. There are several web sites you can put a message on if you know your birth parents names. Lookupuk(.) com and Missing-you(.) net are two sites to post on. Also looking up the electors roll for the area- b4u search - is a place to look or asking on the Records message board here but if you do find either of them then approach it gently ie through an intermediary if possible and very very discreetly. You have to bear in mind that if either of your parents are approached that they may say they don't want contact especially if its a shock. This is particularly so if you are a secret from the family or could cause problems within your parents new family. If you file gives any indication of anyone else in the family that knew about you then if you can contact them first as they know about your existence so won't come as a complete shock to them and they can pave the way for you to make contact. Even if you do get in contact then there's a good possibility that you will find you have nothing in common or they can't or won't answer the questions you desperately want answered and its not the great reunion you hoped for. I know that until you find your natural parents there will always be a gap in your life that only others in the same boat can understand. Just be careful and don't rush it

i want to thank you all for your help and kind words, i will and have listened (and taken note of them all) thankyou once again louise x x

Louise I want to wish you all the best in your search. I think Mandy and Julie have given you all the info you need to set you off on your search. I cannot stress enough how helpful the people on these message boards are,they know lots of useful information and addresses. I hope you are successful and everything turns out happy. I also hope you have a lot of support on your emotional journey. Kindest Regards Margaret

Hi Glad yo see you got the info you needed, as I said in my firtst message they are a good bunch on G.C and I knew someone would help. Good luck sweetheart, we are all thinking of you and hoping all turns out well. Let us know how it goes. Jan

thanks jan and everyone else its amazing the help that has been offered to me will let you know how things go

hello louise my name is dawn I am also looking for my daughter who is called louise.She went to live in Rugby with her two brothers .I hope you have success...Im still looking X Dawn

Louise hi again I have found a site that looks for parents for you .Its a registration fee of 10.00 but they do electoral register checks aswell just write in www.find my mother and the main site will come up .Its worth a look ..Hope you have luck ..Dawn Xx