Genealogy Chat

I have a birth certificate of my grandfathers on which his mother and father claim to be married...ie. his mothers maiden name is specified as well as her marriage name. But I have been unable to find any evidence of this marriage in my searching. Were checks done (this happened in 1899) to verify that the mother and father were in fact married...or could they just make it up, in order to spare the child the "embarrasment" of being illegitimate... any ideas anyone ??

Hi Martin In my experience parents could and did sometimes lie on birth certificates. I have an example where the parents were listed as married and we spent ages searching for the marriage certificate only to eventually find it 18 months after the birth of the first child when the bride was by then 6 months pregnant with the second! In that case it may have had something to do with one or both parents being under age (21) as maybe they couldn't get parents consent to marry. Good luck with your research. Carolyn

thanks carolyn....i did check a further 18 months after the event too but have not had any luck....maybe i will check even further in the future...in your case how long ago was it..before 1900 ??

Hi Martin I have had the same experience. My ancestors' first child was born in 1899 but they didn't marry until 1917! You will find other lies in your travels, particularly regarding ladies' ages!! Regards Michele

i couldnt find my great grandmothers marriage (1895) and when i put the query on here some kind soul came up with the answer. they were born and bred on the wirral but the marriage was found in lancashire! i still dont know why they chose to be married there. mayb their jobs took them there and they didnt commute like we do now but lived there during the week. similarly my grandad was living in wellington shropshire and he too was married in west derby lancs dont know why for him either. brenda

Hi Martin as others know, we discovered a real skeleton in our cupboard when I searched for my grandparents wedding certificate. Not only were they not married when they had their three children, but he had been married before and not divorced and had a daughter. A real shock for my mum I can tell you! In the end an elderly relative confirmed that there had been no marriage and that it was quite a scandal at the time! But yes, all the birth certificates have my granny with a 'married' name, and this went as far as her calling herself my grandfathers widow when he died. Clearly the first wife objected to this because the certificate was ammended with the word Widow underlined and changed to - this should read present at death (or words to that effect) Revenge of the wronged woman methinks! Barbara

Hello Martin I had the same problem. I had my gt grandfathers birth certificate from 1896 which states his mothers maiden name aswell as her supposed married name. I spent ages and wasted loads of money looking for a marriage and couldnt find one. I then tracked down my grandads sister who was the eldest child in their family, and she remembered her grandparents. She said that her grandfather died first and for some reason they needed the marriage certificate. Her grandmother said she must have lost it, so one of the family went up to London to track down a copy and couldnt find one. When they returned the grandmother broke down in tears and admitted they had never actually got married and was really ashamed and that is why she tried to cover it up! I wish i had known this in the first place then i wouldnt have wasted my money!! Sharon

I can't find a marriage ref for my gt. gt. gt. gt. grandparents either. I was beginning to think that they must have married because I have found a death ref for her under her married name, and I'm fairly sure it's her from details of other family living in the same area at the same time. However, does anyone know if any evidence of someone's surname was required for a death certificate? Michelle

I have a very recent example in my tree of parents lying about being married. In this case, they did not actually get round to marrying till the child was 9. This was only in the 1970s so it obviously still does go on. Angela

Hi Martin I had this problem when I started my tree over a year ago. My nan never talked about her father, I didnt even know if they were married, and I have spent a whole lot of time and money searching for their marriage around about 1910 my Nan was born 1911. I gave up just before Christmas thinking they wasnt married, even though on my Nans Birth Ceritificate it said they were. Anyway three weeks ago I was a bit bored and thought I will spend £5 on 1837 again and have one last look for them I started off after 1911 and worked back then suddenly it jumped out at me it was there. in 1910 exactly nine months before my Nan was born. recieved the certificate last week and it is just so brilliant to find this when I didnt think it existed. Now I think 1837 was not complete and they are still adding records. It wasnt just me looking for the marriage I had a contact on here that was looking for the same thing she couldnt find it either. She's on holiday at the moment but she will be over the moon. So I think just put it on the back burner for a while and it might appear one day when you look again. Debbie

I would always urge anyone to visit local records office which has births, deaths and marriage or the FRC in london if looking for something cannot find online. Lots of people are now relying on computers and sites like Freebmd, as do i occasionally but when i did visit FRC it was brilliant, just went through all births and writing down any from area i was searching and full names, then did the same for marriage. Well didn't get enough time in one day for all my names but def would visit again as free other than cost of train ticket £5.40!! and can look at census's free too. zoë

My great grandparents had their 10th (and last) child in the year they married - 1925 - which, coincidentally was the same year their first daughter (my grandmother) married! On all the birth certificates, the mothers surname is the same as the fathers. This was a tricky one to find, as, when they had their last child, she was 47, he was 62. You don't expect people of that age to be having babies - let alone marrying. Granny was disgusted about them having a baby but at the time didn't realise their marital state! Unfortunately their only legitimate child (who I am named after) died aged 4 of measles. Maggie

I spent a lot of time and money searching for my grandfather's birth, on his marriage certificate and death certificate it says Robert Tucker, however one day following a hunch I found him, he was born Harry James Tucker. Obviously they didnt check anything or he would not have been able to marry in another name. I wonder the legality of the marriage and subsequent births.

When I got married the only thing the registrar checked was my cheque guarantee card! Of course years ago when people tended to stay in the same area and all knew eachother's business it would have been harder to fool people. The banns would be read and your neighbour would say "but he's already got a wife and six kids". With the growth of population and the ability to move vast distances its easier to deceive. Who know what lies I have in my family history? I don't.

One thing I have found since researching my tree is that people did not seem to be any more 'respectable' in the 'good old days' than they are now. I have examples of illegitimate children & couples living together pretending to be married,especially in the prim & proper victorian times when such things were supposedly frowned upon. I suppose it is true that there is nothing new on this earth, and then, just as now, these things happen and people live with them and get on with it.