Genealogy Chat

Hi. As a few of you know I have recently found out I have a sibling I knew nothing about. My mother doesn't know I have found this out and I know for a fact she would NEVER discuss it with me anyway. A relative told me this and information supplied is very sketchy.....we are told this adoption took place in the Kendal area which in the 1960's would be Westmoorland South. My mothers name is Alice Mary Murphy but I have been told sometimes she would use Mary or even her sisters name Margaret. We live in Chester and Cheshire Social Services say they would only be able to help if the adoption took place in Cheshire and would need the childs birth name and DOB. We have been in touch with the Catholic Caring Services which dealt with adoptions in the Kendal area but they have no records of any adoption against my mothers name. Is there such a thing as a nationwide record of adoptions, and if so can it be searched by the mothers name and mothers date of birth ?? We know for a fact the birth was by caersarean so it would be on my mothers medical records. Now we know medical records are confidential while someone is alive but what is the situation when people die ?? Thanks for any advice, as I don't know which way to turn at the moment because every avenue I have tried so far has a brick wall. I know people search for years without success so I am not expecting miracles. Billy

Get as much info as possible. You could use this latest legislation being reported in the papers this week re adoption as a talking point with your mum - ie is it right that children should be able to get in touch with their birth parents and the other way around - she may get worried and decide to tell you. It's maybe fear of your reaction or people that know her, that has stopped her saying anything. You could ask if you were adopted or it would be nice to have a brother/sister. If no luck you could get access to BDM's either searching online (but not without errors I believe) or go to local main library that has the fische files of the GRO which you can search manually yourself. It would be helpful before you start searching to know:- 1. Was it a boy or girl? 2. Roughly when born 3. Can you find out if she had the baby locally or went away to a mother and baby home possibly. 4. Church/State or Childrens Charities involved? 5. Can you find any papers at home Take paper and pencil (some don't like pens) and write down the likeliest using all combinations of your mums name and areas from the GRO's You could then leave a message on lookupuk(.) my favourite site or missing-you(.)net. or even do that without the info. The adopted child may have tried to get in touch but failed or may not have tried yet - however they should have access to their birth parents names and its probably the first thing they do is put the name on the net to see what comes up. So use the family tree in genes connected with a slot prepared for him/her as unknown or in the trying to find - or try friends reunited - trying to find slot too. Anyway I wish you luck

hi billy, I was in a similar situation a few years ago only my mum was deceased and my step dad refused to give info. Went to scottish records office in Glasgow discovered it was a girl, her birth name and very little else. However the same week Social Work Services in the area I used to live and in the office where I used to work, contacted my sister who still lived locally asking her to get in touch re a family matter. My adopted sister living in yet another local authority area, had been given help to locate any relatives through her local social work services department. We are still in touch but not on a regular basis due to her insistence, and the major problems it caused, that my stepfather, now deceased, was her father. I don't believe he was! I am still glad that we did meet and she has three children and a husband who are very nice. She does get invited to family gatherings but rarely comes to them. The similarities between my sister, brother, myself and my adopted sister are astounding including birth dates and names and I found it fascinating to experience this phenomenen when I'd previously just associated it with twins separated at birth. I do hope that you find your sibling, I'm sure you will. GOOD LUCK Siobhan

ps forgot to say we didn't know date of birth not even the year and we still found her. Siobhan

William As other people have mentioned, there is now new legislation about birth family members tracing an adoptee, but I'm not sure whether this is limited to the birth parents. Could I suggest you look at Norcap's website at www(.)norcap(.)org - they are a national adoption organisation, also a registered charity, and held in high acclaim. They have done marvellous work for me, although in this case, I'm the adopted one. But I'm sure they would be able to advise you. It is lovely to hear of someone who actually wants to find their adopted sibling. My eldest half-sister threatened me with legal action. Wishing you all the very best for a successful search.