Genealogy Chat

I have looked on 1837 and found this marriage in the year and quarter stated, and it is in the correct city. I am sending for the certificate which will verify her fathers name. If her names Gladys Selina and her fathers name George Henry match on the marriage certificate, and the age at marriage corresponds to her birth certificate, is that enough to prove I have the right person.

Carol, Back to original comments, -it may be that the marriage took place, was registered locally but didn't make it onto the 'Master copy' as it were at GRO. I have known this happen. Not much help to you unless you know which locality to check for their own records though.

I didn`t realise I knew the answer until I started typing. I wasn`t critisising you in any way, it is very sensible to think of others feelings. I was trying to say that I had thought about who my information might affect, and if it did would it upset them. We, as responsible genealogists, family historians, be it amateur or professional need to think of these things, as you so rightly said. There are quite a few newbies, who get carried away by all the information they can find, they rush blindly on, and forget about poor great aunt Gerty who may not want her secrets made public knowedge. We can find things out, that is no problem, the important part is knowing what to tell and what is kept at the back of the family history folder until a later date.

Fair enough, Carol. It wouldn't bother my Mum either, but I have to consider the possibility that such matters would upset some people (as it did when I discovered certain facts). I'm not sure why you asked for advice if you already knew the answer to your problem.

Of course you can Paul. Dont why you went in there anyway. You only offered a reasonable suggestion

Can I come out of the bunker now, please Carol???? Paul

Paul, someone on here kindly checked Scotland for me and found nothing. I haven`t attempted Ireland yet, but can look at them at the LDS. Susan, all my grandparents are no longer with us, my mother is nearly 80, and when I told her about the marriage of my great aunt, she was helpless with laughter. I have dug up a few skeletons, but they dont upset my mum at all, she finds it all very interesting.

When I was new to all this, I discovered that a fourth cousin's gt grandfather had had children by a woman after her gt grandmother died. He never married this lady. She and her family knew nothing of it. But at the time I needed to prove my point. My fourth cousin confronted her grandfather and the truth came out. I'm ashamed to say I upset a lot of people. My golden rule now is that I won't interfere in the lives of the living. Maybe I'm right, but the facts can wait; my need to prove myself is not more important than people's right to lead the lives they have chosen. Sue

A spanner in the works Carol, size depending on your thoughts about this message. You say that you can't find one of the marriages in the GRO Index. If he married in Scotland or Ireland, the marriage won't be on the English GRO. Just thought I would throw that one in Paul (heading for the bunker as soon as I press "add message"

Carol I have the opposite problem. My Grandfather wrote to my Grandmother in January 1925 and mentioned that his father (a widower) had told grandfather that he had married Boxing day 1924. I can't find the marriage on 1837. My belief is that this was a touch of lying to maintain one-upmanship. My grandmother's parents had married in 1924, after having 9 children! The potential wife was living with Great grandfather, and whilst remaining 'living in sin' with her, he couldn't cast aspertions on my grandmother's family!

I have discovered that my great aunt married and my mum knew nothing of it. I am sure it is the same person, first names Gladys Selina, and the witnesses are known family members. The marriage was in 1931 and my mum was 8 at the time, but she knows nothing of it. I shall have to get the certificate which should give me more.

Carol. I do so sympathise.Do you think its possible your father never knew? I've discovered both my great grandfathers had previous wives, who seemingly must have died in childbirth. This was never mentioned in the family, so whether they knew , its now too late to discover. They both subsequently married shortly afterwards and as there were children I suppose it was necessary to find another wife quickly. I have found in my research that some older members of the family are suspicous of one delving too deep, perhaps stirring up muddy waters!! But hey-ho it all makes for fascinating research. Keep ploughing on undeterred. Marjorie.

Just had my parents down for a day and has a difference of opinion with my father who is nearly 80 about his grandfathers first marriage. We have him on the 1901 census with second wife (dads grandmother) and I have found him on the 1881 with another wife. His name and age match for the year, as does the place of birth, a small village in Somerset. Yet Dad says I am barking up the wrong tree. How to prove my point? I have just found him on the 1891 census with second wife, who he married in 1890, we have the certificate showing him as widower. With them is a 5 year old daughter, obviously from first marriage, so now I have sent for said daughters birth certificate which will tell us her mothers name. If it matches with the one I found on the 1881, I think that is the proof I need. If it doesn`t match, then I really am up a gum tree. I have since found this daughter on the 1901 census as a servant in a different household. I have been through all the marriages from 1868 to 1890 and haven`t found a marriage that fits his name, so maybe he wasnt married at all. Would there be marriages that would not have been registered with the GRO. Sorry for the ramble, but just had to get it off my chest.

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