Genealogy Chat

Yes, I really like talking to people about it. Not many are interested, though, which is why I was so thrilled at the thought of my cousin getting involved. It's not so much the credit - it's the fact that I have spent years researching it and she couldn't even say thank you. By the way, I was 16 when I started this - no credit card, no transportation, no internet, no old photos. My uncle had all of the above, so it wasn't like I was in a position to race up and steal his thunder!

Holy Toledo Barbara! Didn't mean to tread on your pet corn! And YES! My s-i-l IS sad! I am eternally grateful that she is my s-i-l- and not directly related. I LOVE to share info and have no problems with that. I am sure Kathryn is exactly the same but I can surely understand where she is coming from! Not all our contacts/rellies are charmingly accomodating! Roger: I have recently found a third cousin and more than a couple by marriage! It is wonderful when you get emails from new found family saying "Our Family ...."! Until about 6 months ago I thought I was the only living rellie! Sonja

SHMBO wants to send trees for their part of the family to half a dozen people with their Christmas cards, so I'm frantically copying from GC into PAF for the lines concerned and trying to fill in the gaps. I must admit that it will give me a certain amount of pleasure to show my cousin (a rather self-opiniated C of E minister) that our grandfather was James Alfred and not Alfred James as he insists, and that our aunt is Gladys Patricia and not Patricia Gladys.

A lot of people, including myself enjoy sharing our research with all and sundry. That is why so many have all their names and dates on a website for all to see. Who cares who takes the credit. My dad came down a while back, and showed me some names and dates he had for one side of the family going back to 1750. I decided against telling him that it was the information I had given him a few years before. He had a stroke 6 years ago, and his memory isnt so good, so thought it best to let it go.

Isn't it strange how we all differ. I love to tell ANYONE who will listen about my research. My childrens eyes glaze over when I tell them about there ancestors, at the moment are not interested, perhaps when they grow up they will be (they are 26 & 29!!) But when I find another link I phone the family, who are interested, we swap stories about what we heard when younger. I have just found a link in Australia, that we had all had heard of, but didn't know anything about. Some kind soul in Australia is trying to find the ancestors of a great Grandfathers brother. When I get the email telling me they have found them, my phone will be hot, telling everyone. I buy the certificates and censuses and when I have gone back one more generation, will copy all I have on the family and give it to any of them that want it. I suppose it helps that I love each and everyone of them and am pleased to share all I have. Perhaps it would be different if I didn't get on with them, or had "nasty ones" I'm really pleased I can pass all my findings on to others who are interested. Lynda

I must have been lucky so far - anyone who contacts me about my family is welcome to all the research I have already done if they want it. I don't care if they have nothing to give back to me. If they know things they do not want to share that's their problem - it is frustrating but I certainly don't begrudge anyone access. I know I have unearthed the details, I have all the copies of documents to prove it if things got so petty that I had to! I have compiled a report full f the names and dates for my Lawrence family - and have given full and updated copies of the work to three genesconnected relations (5th cousins etc who I have never met or spoken to otherthan by email). I was lucky enough to have a relation who sent me a whole family tree (years of research) on his surname. I was delighted to receive it and am perfectly willing to return such kindness to anyone who wants to view my work. Hell - I'll stick it on a website when I'm finished so that ANYONE can view it. Sure it is annoying if people refuse to help when they know something (I've had that too) but don't let it make you stingy with the info you give to others - who may be just as genuine as yourself if you'd just let down the defenses for a mo! Take Care, -Kat

Gawd this is like a schoolyard! Does it really matter if other members of your family work on the same tree? Does it devalue the work you are doing? Isn't the point of your research for self satisfaction and interest? I have loved sharing my research with all of my family. It has been a thrill to swap stuff with distant relatives. If a family member is trying to get one up on you then just consider how sad that makes them and go back to enjoying what you are doing!

Cor!!! I'd love to find some Whybrew Rellies to argue with. I'm the only male left in 4 generations of them. Just found a great great Uncle and put his name in CWGC and he died within a couple of hours of me finding him. You can't choose your rellies but I too have found some friends on GC Roger in Eastbourne

Hang in there Kathryn! Rellies you're born with, geno friends you can choose! hehehe Got my s-i-l a beauty on Saturday! She had 'apparently' (never seen any of it mind!) traced my hubbies Uhlmanns back to 16 something in Germany. Wouldn't part up with a skerrick of info except to tell me I was wrong with this or that. Ran into her at the shops and she asked for an update. I said she probably had anything I did, like birth & death cert copies! WELL! Her jaw dropped to the floor! I also happened to very casually mention a contact I made here that has given me a heap of info on a marriage into the family! Hehehehe she didn't know anything about Maggie except her name! Oh Glorious Day!!! She reckons she will be coming over on Satutrday with ALL the five folders of stuff to leave with me so I can look up whatever I want! I said I may well have most of it by now but thanks anyway.... as graciously as my smirk would allow! Cheer Sonja xx

Never mind matey - I too promised myself not to allow my cousin access to my hard-earned research, only to relent and give free access. What kindly souls we are! At the end of the day though, you know what you have accomplished (with or without assistance) and that cannot be taken away from you. Keep going gal, you know it makes sense! all the best - Jacqui

I have been doing this family tree thing for a few of years now. An uncle started just after I did, but gave up after 6 months. However, he had gone further on one branch than I had. I asked him for copies of his information, promising him full credit. It took 2 years for me, my parents and my grandparents to persuade him to hand over the notes that had been shoved in a drawer once he got bored. So, I decided that I was not going to be stingy and I would share with family who asked (unless someone specifically requested it be kept private). A cousin contacted me and I sent a detailed email about the online resources and outlined what I'd found out. I promised her a copy of a certificate if she could find out some dates I hadn't got. I was warned not to do this because I was told my cousin would probably take the credit. Well, she gave me one or two approximate dates, I posted the certificate off, and I have heard nothing in several weeks now. Humf.