Genealogy Chat

Sinead, I totally agree. My Mother died when I was three months old. Ten years later Dad remarried and raised another family. After Dad died my half-brother found some old papers including the deeds to my Mum's grave. Some years later my eldest daughter had moved temporarily into that area and I asked her to look up the grave. She couldn't find it. This year I wrote to the Local Council cemeteries dept. and they sent me a detailed plan of the Cemetery with the plots marked on it. When I went to look for myself I found her grave was unmarked. That must have been the saddest day of my life. I am saving up the £600 I have been quoted for a Headstone. Coincidentally, I had to pay more to transfer ownership of the plot to myself than my Dad had paid to buy the plot in the first place! Jim

Thats very true. Our local parish councillor has the buriel register in his house, I don't know what would happen if something happened in his house i.e flood, fire ,burglary. I borrowed the buriel plan so I could find a grave for somebody, he didn't know me from adam.

Would just like to say that our local church has no records whatsoever about who is buried in the churchyard, which is now a 'closed Churchyard'. Since 1934, locals have been buried in the 'cemetery' (not the dead centre of the village, but situated on the outskirts)! Records of ALL burials are kept by the Clerk to the Parish Council. What I am saying is, that it's worth contacting the Parish Council Clerk to see what information they have. I like Lynda's idea! Why don't you start another thread? I've a couple to start you off! It may even give people inspiration for requests for inscriptions on their headstones! Janet East Northamptonshire

Unfortunately that would still not guarantee that you would be found. I visited the City of London cemetery a few weeks ago. They have put notices on a lot of gravestones (some big monuments too) in a fairly large area saying that they have been earmarked for removal and if you are connected to or own the grave to contact them. Also don't forget a lot of our ancestors were not in a position to afford gravestones. My mother in law died three years ago. The family paid £300 for a small marble book stlye marker. When we went recently I was surprised to find it was just like a brick laid there. It is not put into the ground at all just sits there.

Just thought I would add my tuppence worth. While hunting my g grandfather grave in Wiltshire, we had managed to get all the family grave numbers that were buried there. Lots were found including g granddad and g grandmother but we were in for a surprise two other people where buried there as well. Well you can imagine what was said and felt at the time. But imagine our surprise when the wife's name rang a bell. It was their daughter and husband. They died in the 1960's so I looked up the names on the death indexing in London and found they died in Bristol but were sent home for burial. I hadn't even found granddad's sister marriage at the time but I have now. One great Uncle we found had two wife's buried in the same plot he married 4 times in all. Irene

I can see the OPs point, but quite a few are opting for cremation these days. It may be better if we made sure our documentation was easy to find for future generations.

Hi Sinead You don't have the Trealaw Burials CD do you? I have Porth folk and don't know hwere they are buried and thought Trealaw might be an option. Sian

The problem is, if it is a big burial ground, you still might not find it! Perhaps I shouldn't divulge this information - but I will! I knew a rellie was buried in a large burial ground on Southampton Common, so I asked at the Registry Office about finding out exactly where. They told me there was a department (I think it was within the Registry Office) where they kept records of burials - but it was hush hush. I can't remember the title of the department, and when I called them they were a little surprised, but gave me the information. If this starts a rush of calls, we may provide employment for someone within the department!

Sinead Off course if you can't find a grave that is marked, searching the burial register or cemetery register will always tell you if a person is buried there. Our local cemetery is always willing to give the plot number and will show the position of an unmarked grave. Margaret

Kim Ta very muchly! Lynda

Lynda, You are on a completely different planet from the rest of us! Love it!!!!!! lol Kim

Hi Ann, Yes I did try that but in reality out of one whole section there were only two markers which did little to clear up the hunt! Never mind,a good time was had by all!!!!! Sinead My search difficulties today were by no means a gripe but it did make me think about all the people who have no record in a cemetery but a bump in the ground- having buried both my grandparents I am aware of the costings involved but most cemeterys will allow a simple wooden cross put up at minimal expense. It just makes me a bit sad :(( Sinead

Sinead It is a good idea When you next go looking for a plot try asking the local cemetery dept for the no and if there is anyone available to show you where it is. Our main cemetery is very good for that. Ann,Darlington

Sinead It is a good idea When you next go looking for a plot try asking the local cemetery dept for the no and if there is anyone available to show you where it is. Our main cemetery is very good for that. Ann,Darlington

Every time my hubby and I go to a small town I make him take me to the cemetary. I don't know who is buried in most of these places, but it sure does add some history to a place when you look at all the graves. It's a little hard to look for headstones (especially flat markers) right now as we have about 6 inches of snow on the ground.

its not upseting but it is very expensive evan now to put up a headstone probably about £700 on average for a fairly simple one

Hello Sinead, Having only been doing this as a hobby for a few months I can only say that from delving into history and reading some of the deatils of my ancestors, a muddy trek round a few graveyards is hardly an ordeal. I have found some of my ancestors in workhouses, infant mortality outnumbering those who grew to adulthood, paupers graves........need I say more? My grandfather and most of his siblings were put into a childrens homes in 1904 after the death of his father as his mother was unable to cope with 7 children. I don't mean to have a go at you but I am sure the last thing on the minds of those who have gone before was to be able to afford a headstone over a decent meal for their family and a roof over their heads. Pam

Sinead Good idea, what about if we put some good ones we have seen, Like Spike Milligans who has..... I told you I was ill Lynda

Hi all, You may think this a rather strange and morbid request, but when we all shuffle off this mortal coil could we try please to put some sort of headstone or marker up?! Let me explain. I have spent the last two days traipsing around Trealaw Cemetery trying to find two sets of ancestors!Needless to say most of the markers were either unreadable or non existent so finding the correct grave was really hard-especially when there is no stone to mark their passing or site of burial. I find it really sad to see an unmarked grave let alone the nightmare it means for us trying to trace them so lets try to rectify it for the future! Sinead PS apologies if this has upset anyone - it was not my intention.Thanks