Genealogy Chat

Ok, I may of found an elderly relly that I need vital info from or even permission to get army records from. Havnt seen since I was a little girl.

I have found her address and phone number.

Do I write or phone?

Kaz

I would ring her myself, but that is my opinion, depends on the circumstances of why you havent seen her i guess

I used to visit her with my grandparents when I was small, but then I got too big to be with them so never went again.

I just feel a bit nervous, ringing out of the blue.
I wouldnt know how to write a letter either.

Just wondered what others would do.

Just a thought but an older person might not appreciate a late evening phone call from a "stranger". I used to give my mum set times when I would phone her so she was not alarmed when the phone rang especially dark evenings. If you write the rellie will be able to look at what you have to say and reply in their own time not in a rush on the phone, would suggest you put in an sae - possibly put questions in list on left hand side so the answers can be written in spaces on right hand side. Jx

Oh I wouldnt phone of an evening, if I was to phone.
I know my nan and others dont take evening calls.
It would be during the day.

I was thinking of both sides.

WRITE
Gives her the choice whether or not she wants to tell me anything.

But I dont want to put her on the spot.

PHONE
Because I am her great neice and she does know who I am.
A bit more personal.

Dilemma!

Not trying to interfere but why not ring, have a natter and say you are working on family history and you would like to send her a list of any queries you have about rellies to see if she would like to have a look at it and answer what she can - perhaps ring her again after you have sent a letter and see how she getting on if agreed to it - are you close enough to perhaps follow up with a visit say in a few weeks time - Good luck. Jx

Yes I think I will write tomorrow.
She still has her hubby and her children are near I remember my nan saying her daughter built a house on the land next door.

I know how it is important to strike while the iron is hot. So I think I should go for it.

Thanks everyone for your imput. Really appreciated.

Kaz

No its not that far I could visit.

I'll sleep on it and may ring tomorrow. Or write cant decide.

But deffo will do something, missed out on lots of info by not asking and then its too late.

Thanks everyone.

I would write rather than phone. That way she can consider your letter and have time to digest the information before she replies.

The idea of a list of questions is good - I've done this myself with good results.

Say in your letter that you are researching your family history and hope she might be able to help you. Say you have included a list of quetions about the family, but that she only needs to answer any she's able to, and you don't expect her to answer them all - that way she won't feel she has to find the answers to all of them.

Include a stamped addressed envelope for her reply, but tell her that you won't be upset if she doesn't want to help - but that you would appreciate it if she at least sends back the envelope empty if she doesn't so that you will at least know that she received your letter.

I think you will find that most elderly people actually like to feel they have something to give and I'm sure she will want to help if she can.

Good luck.

Kath. x

I agree with Karen, whatever you do, do something.

Late last year, with the help of a lookup on the 2006 electoral, I had the address and phone number of my late (Irish) Mum’s cousin Brian, who now lives in Flintshire.

I phoned him and explained that I was tracing my family tree and that I thought that he was a relative. I told him who my Grandpop was and he said that my Grandpop was his father’s brother! He was delighted to hear from me and we exchanged a few details but then I suggested that I write to him with the info that I and a couple of other 2nd cousins had found about or Irish lineage. (As he was in his 80’s I thought this would jog his memory and give him time to ponder over the information.)

A few weeks later Brian sent me a lovely letter filling in lots of gaps, spouses of Grandpop’s other siblings, and names of some of their children, plus where they emigrated to, USA, Australia and England. But the biggest bonus …… he sent me photo’s of his father and mother, himself, wife and grownup children. He gave me DOB’s, marriages, deaths etc and told me his life story.

He also told me that his father was arrested during the Irish uprising in 1916 in Dublin and was imprisoned in Wales but released later without charges. This was the year my Mum was born in Dublin and I don’t think any of her sisters knew about any of this…at least none of my cousin did.

Brian also sent me a photo copy of a wedding photo and said it was my Grandpop and Gran…but it wasn’t…..it was my Mum and Dad’s! It only had my Grandpop’s name written on the back so he assumed it was his wedding. He did chuckle when I phoned him up to put him right about the photo.

So you see it can be a real bonus to find an elderly relative not just for the statistics, but for the family history too.

You've got nothing to lose and you might gain so much.