Genealogy Chat

I was contacted by a lady asking how i was connected to a member in her tree, i explained how (marriage) and reply came back he is my nephew but family members do not wish the tree info to be shared with anyone, as i had already given names and dates as to my connection i felt what was the point in her contacting me .....to gleen my conection and absolutly nothing in return , is it me ? am i being selfish expecting a person who contacts me to at least tell me who they are i would put living relative if thats what they wish, or nothing on my tree and kept it on my private home record, im finding this a lot is it common????

No Deborah I don't think you are selfish why contact you .
Unless she was worried about how you knew the family names and how the names were there if they didn't want them made public.
I haven't come across this. Don't let it worry you. But just shows how people can use you to get info on their trees but not share.
Germaine
x

Sounds to me as though you both have living relations in your trees without their permission.

Hi and thanks for taking the time to answer, the strange thing is i had a message on one of the boards asking if anyone knew of any of the relatives in my tree as i did not want to put details on without permission, i was contacted by the son of the man in question who happily gave me more names and dates to add and i happily gave him mine, ie our grandads were brothers so quite a hefty amount of detail was willingly exchanged and now this lady asks my connection and says no family approval granted , i dont want to contact the original person i spoke to as i would hate to start a family fight, just not sure what to do, as far as i can make out the lady and her line are not on my details but permisson was given by the other members on the line i do have , sorry folks i think im confusing myself here..... any advise ?????

My advice would be to remove the details of ALL living people regardless of having permission or not. Input the living on your Gedcom.
This is the only way to protect your relations from indentity fraud.

Thanks Claire, that sounds like a good idea, i do have lots of detail on my tree, i did respect the wishes of relatives who didnt wish names or dates to be known to be kept off, but i guess anyone with a little know how could easily connect a family or use details for there own use, im not computer minded honestly, and i found it easy to go from site to site and gain information very easily.
Deb