General Chat

my dad was adopted as a baby
this l knew but last year l found his bc
so l have been tracing his mother in the hope of finding a photo of her
l have traced and been in contact with several members of her family but no one has a photo
she didnt have any more children but married a major after the 1st ww and moved to his home town of Braunton in Devon
l am currently trying this area

l only want a photo of her

My grandma was amazing - truly stunning. Whenever my mum asked how long she had been married it was always "I can't remember".

She was married twice, I should note, once to the father of my uncles who she left for a mysterious man who became my aunty's dad (although they never married).

Then, she goes to work at the place owned by my mum's dad, got pregnant and didn't marry until six weeks before my mum arrived! (She never admitted it - I found out with a bit of help from a relative on this site who located the marriage reference.) No wonder she "couldn't remember".

Equally curious is the family of a great-uncle by marriage. His grandma had an illegitimate baby in her early twenties, then married a Mr. Dawson and had some more children (though I have never located Mr. Dawson on a census with her). Meanwhile she takes in a "lodger" named James South. Her children swap between the names Dawson and South and on one census the whole lot of them are the "South" family - I know it's them, they never moved out of Grantham.

Makes you wonder, were the girls so keen to get married that they agreed to have sex with their boyfriends in the hope of falling pregnant and insisting on marriage to "catch" their man? With there being no contraception you would think they would be more careful but I wonder how many couples in our trees either married because the bride was pregnant or they thought they'd got caught out (even if it did turn out to be a false alarm)?

My g gran suddenly moved from Suffolk to Dorset between 1891 and 1901. In 1901, gg grandparents suddenly have a grand daughter living with them!!
Unfortunately she died aged 7.
Meanwhile, in 1901, g gran was working in a hotel and future g grandad was lodging nearby.......... - he had moved from London to Dorset......
By 1902 they had moved to Southampton.
They had 9 illegitimate children before they married in 1924, when g grandad's first wife died, and 1 legitimate child who died aged 4 - and who I am named after.
I love my Gloucester lot. 1871 census - Hannah Evans, confectioner (widow) 2 children, Hannah Evans and Henry Evans, with a lodger, Samuel Doutch. 1881 Census - Hannah Evans, confectioner (widow) 3 children, Hannah Evans, Henry Evans and Mary Doutch Evans (my gg grandmother). Hmm I wonder who the father was!! (I like your sweeties Hannah) lol
My dad was illegitimate too - and when gran was alive she was hardly helpful as to his parentage - though we were, at least, certain of his mother!!!

maggie

Yep deffinately got illegitimate in my tree, come to think of it my own children are illegitamate, we have been together for nearly 15 years and had 2 children but never got married.....oh the scandal, lol.

Karen x

I'd be more interested to know how many people DIDN'T have any illegitimate births in their tree. I rather think that attitudes during the early 19th century, particularly in rural areas, were similar to those of today .

In those days, just like today, people knew other people who lived miles away from them and they probably walked or rode to do their courting. In those days you could walk several miles to and from school and work. I have had people who wed in a church but lived on opposite sides of the county.

Just nowadays, people stay in contact with emails, buses, cars, trains, internet etc if they live miles apart to meet up.

Yes

I am - my mum & dad married in 1982 (I was then 35 and would have loved to have been there but didn't know it was taking place - my dad was 78 and my mum 73) and my Dad was.....my great gran had 10 children and never married.....

As my Oh has always said

In those days, you walk 5 mile there and 5 back to do ya courting, you ain't leaving without getting nowt lol

Kim

I wonder if the parents who wed within a year of their babys birth in the 19th century ever "adjusted" their wedding date, eg if the really wed in February 1864 and their firstborn arrived in October 1863, I wonder if the parents pretended they had wed in Feb 1863 instead of Feb 1864 to make it look as if their firstborn was legitimate?

Both my maternal grandparents were illigitimate but I don't think mother knew the truth about her father, as he never spoke of it.
Grans parents didn't get the chance to marry as her father was married to someone else.......he then up and died at 33, and his legal wife re~married 2 weeks later.

I found a baby born to my GtGt gran at her aunties house, a little boy, no fathers name and no further mention of him anywhere!!!

Grandad's mum was unmarried and the situation tsk never spoken about

My ggt grandfather (on my Dad's side of the family) was illegitimate and to make matters worse his surname was Smith! He did have an unusual middle name, which could have been the fathers surname, but it hasn't helped me trace him yet.

Frances

Surely the question should be who has not got any illegitimately in their family!!

James

Hi

I think I have more evidence than some other people have about the proof of fatherhood of an illegitimate child after the father wed the mother. Thomas was the father, otherwise he wouldnt have baptised her as his if she wasnt as that would be fibbing in church - a sin in those days.

I am glad that you have shared your stories, and dont worry for fellow posters with an illegitimate baby born but parental marriage afterwards as I think you have the right father if he wed the mother shortly afterwards.

I wonder if any of them found out they were actually born before their parents marriage???

Ben

Ow those "Moral" Victorians LOL
Gill

M greatgreatgrandmother , on father`s side had twin sons, one of whom is my greatgrandfather, to one man , then a daughter to someone else , then married someone else and had 2 more but died of liver disease when baby was 3 months. When my daughter had a baby at 16 there was an uproar !!
Ros xx

I wouldn't imagine there is a family tree anywhere in the land without illegitimacy - if there is one I reckon they are fibbing!!!!

We have none of them...
Goings on in our family...
We can all read and write lol ...