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A SERIOUS QUESTION...

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

DIZZI

DIZZI Report 21 Nov 2008 20:10

I DO
ITS HORRBLE

BUT IM SLOWLEY SAYING
NO

~Summer Scribe~

~Summer Scribe~ Report 21 Nov 2008 19:16

I'm glad you're already getting therapy, they may be able to help you or direct you to someone who specialises in controlling behaviours.

I think the problem is that at first it's only little things and it's amusing or cute but then it escalates and before you know it, it's completely out of control.

I hope you can get the help you need and couple counselling should help too.

Deb

Deb Report 21 Nov 2008 19:12

i am already receiving therapy for anger management, but it wasnt until today that i realised that anger is just a part of the bigger picture. i realise now i got controlling mixed up with careing. my wife has said for sometime time now that i'm a control freak.

~Summer Scribe~

~Summer Scribe~ Report 21 Nov 2008 19:06

I have no experience of this but have a lot of respect for someone who can admit that they have a problem, it's a big step. If you can talk to your GP they're usually a good place to start for getting a referral to a therapist. Part of moving past it is to work out why you are like it. It may well be difficult to confront the painful things in your past but well worth sticking it out in the long run. If you don't want to speak to the GP, perhaps the local MIND might be able to recommend someone. I suspect the counselling might be useful for both of you too, Mrs. Tealy for building self-confidence and Mr.Tealy for the obvious reasons.

Good luck to you both.

Sharron

Sharron Report 21 Nov 2008 18:53

Seems hopeful. I really hope you do.

Go on the Depression thread,that is where the support is.

I am really rooting for you.

Deb

Deb Report 21 Nov 2008 18:45

thankyou sharron i used to blame everybody else when really the problem was me all along. i just hope i manage to get my life back on track.

Sharron

Sharron Report 21 Nov 2008 18:41

Good man Mr Tealy.It takes a big man to acknowledge the problem is his. I respect you greatly for this.It must take you a good long way to beating the problem and I hope you do.

Wishing you the very best of luck and help.

Deb

Deb Report 21 Nov 2008 18:20

crunchy nuTTer

thanks for sharing that with me, yes it is me Mr Tealy that has the problem not my wife.

Deb

Deb Report 21 Nov 2008 18:01

thats just what i am doing thanks xx

CrunchyNuTTer

CrunchyNuTTer Report 21 Nov 2008 18:00

Sorry for everyone who assumed that it was a HE
that was the control freak! Including me!
In answer to your question it all came to a head one day and he tried to kill me and threatened our baby son then turned the knife on himself. When the ambulance came they asked what happened so i said tell them, and he did, they asked if i wanted to go to hospital with him, i said i never wanted to see him ever again, and to this day, never seen him.
So, that was that!
I know thats not much help to you but thank you for letting me ramble and getting it off my chest.
xxx

 Lindsey*

Lindsey* Report 21 Nov 2008 17:54

Try a bit of googling see if you can find anything about it.


Edit, theres loads. Try reading them together and see if either of you recognise some part of what is written. ps you're very brave asking us !

Deb

Deb Report 21 Nov 2008 17:53

hi this is mr tealy has anybody else got over this horrable condition xx

UzziAndHerDogs

UzziAndHerDogs Report 21 Nov 2008 17:52

Tealy if your husband has accepted that he is, the next stage is councilling ( I hate that word ) He needs to understand why he does it. You need to be able to cope with it

 Lindsey*

Lindsey* Report 21 Nov 2008 17:50

I think if you allow the little controls then they soon escalate to outrageous demands and you're living on the egde.
Good that he recognises it, but it needs to be talked out. The question is always will the sky fall in if he lets go a little,?

Jane

Jane Report 21 Nov 2008 17:46

Good that he has accepted this.I am sure there will be help but not sure where.Someone here will know I'm sure.

CrunchyNuTTer

CrunchyNuTTer Report 21 Nov 2008 17:35

Yeah, you ok?
xxx

ShimmsRedRoseAndMistletoe

ShimmsRedRoseAndMistletoe Report 21 Nov 2008 17:34

You okay Tealy?

xxx Shimmer xxx

CrunchyNuTTer

CrunchyNuTTer Report 21 Nov 2008 17:34

I used to untill he tried to kill me!

its ok i'm fine and happy now though!
xxx

Deb

Deb Report 21 Nov 2008 17:32

LOL that was straight to the point Lindsey

X

 Lindsey*

Lindsey* Report 21 Nov 2008 17:31

Not any more, got rid !