General Chat

Night night Hayley :))

Sue, Aileen, thanks for trying :)

Almost got a giggle, Rose? Is that all you can say? I gave it my best shot and that's all the thanks I get.

You're hard work, lady!

Sue x

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

A woman told her doctor, 'I've got a bad back. 'The doctor said, 'It's old age.' The woman said, 'I want a second opinion. 'The doctor says, 'OK. you're ugly as well.'

A man walked into the doctor's, The doctor said 'I haven't seen you in a long time'. The man replied, 'I know I've been ill'.

A man walked into the doctor's, he said 'I've hurt my arm in several places'. The doctor said 'well don't go there any more'.
I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.

Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners.

I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'have you got anything for wind', so he gave me a kite.

I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu. So I went, and I got it.'

I was in the attic the other day with the wife. Damp and dusty.........but she's great with the kids!


Nothing to beat old Tommy Cooper.

Aileen xxx

I am off to keep my OH company :-)))))))))

lol Sue, that almost got a giggle....

BC you are probably right about my aura :( and I am going for a bath soon because I smell of bike oil........

Ah that's a bit better!

Why should I shut it Keith? are you implying I am not allowed my say ? and who made you Lord and master...... if I want to say summat I will say it mate... and if you have a go I will give yous a Liverpool kiss.....

;)

And then there was this man who was walking back from Asda carrying two heavy shopping bags.

A kindly stranger in a car stopped and said " do you need a lift?"

After the first man thought for a minute, he said...









"No thanks - I live in a bungalow"

Sue x

*clears throat and tries hard.....er...well all of you smell on here tonight......and yer ooras not too good either....and.........

Rose shut it lol

lol Aileen,

None of you are very good at argueing tonight ? lol

Wht's the difference between PMT and BSE?

One's a mad cow's disease and the other is an agricultural problem.

Aileen xxx

Uzzi, sorry to hear you are still having problems with dogs :(

Hi J* , I won't argue with you lol, you're 'family' ( had my 'aunt' mum's cousin's wife, telling me on phone all the facts about family...most of which were wrong lol)

What do you call a:

Man with a paper bag on his head? - Russell
Man with car on is head? - Jack
Woman who sets fire to her bills? - Bernadette
Man with a side of bacon behind his ears - Rashid
Man with a pane of glass behind each ear - Pat E O'doors

What do you call a small woman? - Dot

How do you say hello to a man with a car on his head? - Hi Jack

That should have you rolling in the aisles, Rose

Sue x

Ah I saw that thread...I was going to add about my dvt collection...and there it was....gone!!

no it only had 3 posts on it...sort of hows your day been thread, I am having a glass of wine...

add to that i didn't win the lottery...I did however get 2 numbers , which is 2 more than usual!

Hayley, was it an interesting thread?

I can pm you some dates, but I don't want an argument! Jx

How unusual.

I've never heard of threads disappearing before. Is this something new?

Aileen xxx

why are you on the roof tsk tsk

...then theres the one about the tree fellers........*falls off roof.....