General Chat

sharon
i must admit that i did control them a little bit,they were taken and picked up from friends houses,contact was made between parents if one of them asked to stay the night at a friends house,they were always grounded for a few days for doing wrong,when they were young they had a little slap on the hand for being naughty and we always explained why...we had to be quite strict with four of them.....but looking back we were very lucky that we didnt have any serious problems only the normal things you expect from teenagers... :-D

"The only way to teach them right from wrong is to belt (slap) them"......right on I say. After all what better way to teach a child that violence is wrong than to give them a good hiding. That'll teach the little beggars not to raise their hand to anyone.

I doubt you ever tried to control them. Cared for them, guided, stimulated and supported them to the best of your ability.

But did you ever try to control them?

ive tried to bring my four children up as best i could with the help of hubby who was very hands on ,but also had to work 12hrs a day to provide for all of us,didnt work until my baby was 3yrs old(shes now 21) i was lucky,hubby earned enough as a builder to provide for all of us. but i know thats not as easy today. but of course i was not a perfect parent,but both myself and hubby tried our best...no serious problems.x :-D :-D

You probably gave him interest and support.

yes but they got away with it.....a female police officer kept intouch with us for yrs afer the attack,she couldnt believe that my son just got on with his life,he left school with 11 g.c.s.e"s and got himself a career ...never looked back thank god.x :-D :-(

IIt seems like a fine excuse to say that mother had no control over her son. Was she really saying she couldn't be a*sed and really wasn't very interested?

i just thank god that it didnt effect my son,he just got on with his life afterwards and has had no problems,one of the boys(the 12yr old who kicked my son in the head)has been in and out of prison since his late teens and had a serious drug problem,we dont know what happened to the other two.x

times have changed so much. From 1973 to 1976 I worked in a large comprehensive school at lunch times, sometimes running a disco for the older pupils, sometimes as a lunchtime supervisor either indoors or out. Whenever there were fights it was always we supervisors (all female) or female staff who went in to break them up because the male students would never be violent towards a female. We were always respected. And if I told a sixteen (for example) year old off for bad language, smoking or fighting my views would be respected and they would obey me. They would swear at each other but never at us. Whatever happened? I wish things had stayed the same.

That's just awful Suzanne :0(

It's the other kids I worry about more than anything...they have no control over who is allowed to exist at their schools...and nor do the teaching staff really...it's about time unruly and violent children were swiftly removed from mainstream schools much sooner than they are now..for the safety of all.

My daughters injuries were far less serious than your sons but she and I were incredibly upset about it..and it's very hard to live through knowing that the next phone call could be the signal that it's all kicked off again. Horrible way to live x

Whatever happened to respect, I have brought 3 children and by no means the perfect mother I have made many mistakes I learned from them, if I had the chance to do it all over again no doubt I'd make a few newer ones, but I hope I did one decent thing and that was to teach them to respect others.

yes muffy,
but we all know that the authorities wont deal with him dont we,proberly send him on a nice holiday.
when my son was 13 he was beaten up in school,rushed to hos with a broken nose,fractured cheek bone,two black eyes,missing two front teeth,a haematoma measuring 5in on the back of his head(he had been kicked)and a shoe print on his face,three boys were arrested,(police pressed charges not us) i walked past my son on the hospital ward because i didnt recognize him.....two months later my son was asked to meet with the boys and talk about what had happened(he wouldnt go)so i went instead,two of the three boys had no fathers at home,one mother told me she was sorry about what happened to my son,but she had no control over her lad(he was 12)
i asked one boy,why he had kicked my son in the head,he said "because i felt like it"(his older brother was in prison for G.B.H)..
after the attack, my son became difficult in school and we had a few problems(nothing serious) amazingly the teachers couldnt understand why,he was never offered any help or therapy.
hes 23 now and a normal hard working man who has never been out of work since leaving collage.x :-( :-D

The school IS the one for special needs,

"Police were called to ******* School, in Avalon Road, Orpington, which caters for children with special educational needs"
(my asterisks)

What an excellent debate we have going on here.

Well fortunately he's at the age of criminal responsibility.

So for the sake of the two ladies who he has injured today....who were, after all just doing their jobs...over and above the line of duty .....and for any child that he may come into contact with in the future...let's hope the judicary find some back bone and deal with him in the harshest possible way.

Regardless of background, he's commited a crime and should learn NOW that there are serious repercussions rather than try it when he's older and even more out of hand than he is now x

www.newsshopper.co.uk

For a bit more information. The road the school is on is named, but doesn't seem to link to a Referral Unit.

If the child attended a 'normal' school, then unless the safety of the staff and students can be guaranteed, he should be removed. You can only tolerate so much violent behaviour before sending the child to a safer environment.

Whilst agreeing that the underlying cause needs to be addressed, the 'victims' do need to be considered.

Anecdotally, I worked for 15 years with Secondary aged students, in a support capacity. It did seem that there was more outbreaks of violence within the classroom by the time I resigned......because I had been knocked to the floor, had a table pushed into me, punched, and scratched. In mitigation, the separate incidences of violence were not directed *at* me, but to the different students I was trying to protect.

I read this story at Daily Mail online

Well if this child is ferral or has " specials needs" I do hope some sort of prosecution is taken out,I am sure that when these 2 members of staff signed up for the job it wasnt to be inflicted with those sort of injuries. Think of the life long term effects it will have on them when they return to work if they ever do.

I work in a school and have seen varying degrees of violence towards staff and other children from children from age 4 to age 11.

Some children have conditions such as AHAD or Aspergers or varying other degrees of the Autistic spectrum. To many these children are labelled as naughty but these children cannot help it.

Some children have awful home lives. Again to those not in the know all they see is a disruptive kid but dont see the very unhappy child underneath.

Then you do get the kids who are just awful. Who do not have underlying problems but have parents who turn a blind eye but just indulge their child instead of following through with guiding their child right. I do believe some kids are born bad (no medical conditions) despite good parenting too.. These "awful" kids normally turn into the worst kind of adults who have no thought for other human beings.

A good headteacher will go down every route they can before expelling a child from school due to bad behaviour. Normally isolating the child from his/her class into another is first such is missed play & lunch play. Exclusions when home life is safe to do so without fear of parental reprisal, Special educational workshops specialising in support for that child.(these are run during school hours a few days each week off school site) Failing that, if those measures dont work, if other kids are still suffering or if someone gets seriously hurt then its expulsion to protect other children or adults..

Whatever kind of child did the damage, they most likely threw something like a chair or table to inflict broken bones.Something like a book case or heavy furniture may have been pulled over.

Punishment, if any will be based on if the child has special needs or not.

I hope the child gets the right support, and that the staff also get support, they put up with more than they are often given credit for.

Making the assumption that it IS the school for SEN children, which might well include pupils with autism ( and knowing of course that there are varying degrees and violent behaviour is not nec' involved)

"Faced with a world in which they find it difficult to interact socially, communicate clearly and control their own behavior, children with autism sometimes respond with violent behavior. Aggression, both physical and verbal, is a common symptom of autism, and can be aimed at inanimate objects, caregivers and family members, other children or even toward the child himself. An observant caregiver can take practical steps to calm and direct an aggressive, autistic child."

I had a friend whose child fitted the above description, hard for her, the child and teachers. this 'may' be the case here?