General Chat

John, apart from the absolute no gooders, I believe that nobody is better than anyone else. Some of my ancestors didn't have a pot to wee in, yet they achieved remarkable things in life, one particularly helped his fellow man, yet died a pauper. Material things are nothing compared to compassion and love.

:-D

John have you ever seen Zelig? I think you would enjoy it.

Lynda. I think possibly each generation has a chance to do a lot more than previous generations. Money, travel, internet etc.

One thing I never believe is that my opportunities have made me better than any of my ancestors. Or better than anyone else on this forum. Or worse. Just different :-)

Lyndi, abuse is abuse, and I feel for the recipients, what ever type of abuse it is. If only people realised that a child will become an adult one day, maybe they would have more respect for them, as I'm sure those who bully or abuse children, wouldn't do it to an adult :-(

I only used what you told me as an example Hayley ;-)

John, I guess if we all put our great achievements on here, day after day, people would get bored, that said I like reading what others have done.
I've done, heard and seen some things, that I'm sure sound unbelievable, to some, but I know I have done, heard and seen those things, and that's good enough for me :-D

and again Mau sssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....I am well gunna watch who I tell what too :-|

I am a cynic and I think Hayley is lying. Anyway, when I climbed Everest and played for Brazil, I don't remember any pretty young blondes.

I have never boasted about what I have done in the past. I have just stated it because I thought it was relevant to the discussion. I know there are some even more cynical than me who don't believe I won the major prize in retail for management in 1976 - a large cheque and a large cup presented to me by Lord Trenchard at the Dorchester in front of over 1,000 leaders of the retail industry - Sainsbury family, Cadbury family etc. But I did - that is fact. Photos to prove it, and a beautiful certificate. And almost everything else I have shared is fact.

Not sure why some think it is incredible what I have done. To me it is just normal. Everyone else must have had moments in their life when they did things that we might find difficult to believe.

I think people know when someone is fibbing anyway - I have fibbed about climbing Everest in this very post. But not about playing for Brazil in the 1970's at left wing. ;-)

pants on fire Hayley :-0 ....actually you said you'd played around with Christiano :-D

Lynda I told you in secret that I had climbed h'everest last week
before me egg on toast and the knocked the ball around for Brazil ...tsk :-)

Lynda I agree with you too only my response to someone climbing mountains in the morning and then playing footy in the afternoon would be "Well done you" .... see I'm just gullible and tend to believe whatever ;-)
Lyndi I also agree with you too having been a member for quite a while I shake my head at some of the remarks and do get annoyed hopefully not to go in full blast (tell me to stop if I ever do) I also think you have been very brave in your childhood alas these memories must be with you and easily brought to the fore when you see the carry-on here just keep cheerful :-)

Lynda,I agree with you in that I don't think it is my concern who is ill, bereaved etc unless they wish to share, but I think the point that John was trying to make is than these events can make people more sensitive and vulnerable.

Events in the chat room over the last few days have really upset me, but nobody could be expected to know that. And if they did people probably wouldn't care and certainly it wouldn't change the things they say.

Nothing was directed at me, but because of past experience when insults, goading etc is taking place as I read every word makes me physically flinch.
Between the age of 11-16 my life was a hell of verbal and emotional abuse, unless you have stood between your younger sister and a red-faced foaming at the mouth stepfather, trying to look brave but shaking with fear and your stomach in knots you won't know how I feel.
I avoid confrontation now, and have managed through life quite well, and never expected for these feelings to be reignited in a chat room of all places!!

I am not looking for any response to this post, just trying to state how this can make onlookers feel. You might say well don't read - but sometimes you just can't help yourself ;-)
There may well be others who have been in similar situations who feel like me.
There was much understanding on here towards victims of sexual abuse, but other forms of abuse hurt and have lasting effects as well. I have now retired but it still lingers.

As RR said you would never find this mix of people in a room together...Well in my (humble?) opinion if you did I bet you anything most people would bite their tongue and be nice ...it can be very hard to be nasty when you are face to face / eye to eye with people who don't have the same opinions as you do especially us Brits as we tend to keep quiet rather than have a full blown row...........am I right or am I wrong I wonder :-S :-S :-S

As I don't read every post, I have no idea who is ill, or what there circumstances are, like I don't know if some people are male or female, some board names could be either, but that doesn't really matter to me. I think of this board like I would a room I'd walk into, where I knew some people but not others, therefore I'd watch my language ;-) not get into too much discussion about politics or religion, both of which I think are too personal to go into detail about on a genealogy forum, each to there own and all that :-D

However bad it was years ago, we should have moved on by now I reckon :-D

If I thought someone was telling outright lies to gain, money or favours, or to be deceitful, then I'd say so, but if someone said they climbed Everest before breakfast, then said they played football for England in Brazil that afternoon, I'd probably say, how wonderful, how did you do that then, but |'d probably think, bless, and assume everyone else knew they were lying through there teeth:-D

I read John's post slightly differently, and I may be wrong but I understood him to mean it would be easy for us to assume that everybody knows we have been ill etc. Somehow 'we' expect people to know but they obviously can't.

Sometimes things can be read differently to what the poster intends, and that can cause problems. We aren't all as good with words as some, and while in real life we get by with all the other means of communication it can't happen in chatrooms.

And haven't we all met someone (maybe some of you are that 'someone' ;-) ) who can say things that would get a entirely diferent reaction if anyone else said it. I worked with someone once, and on a daily basis I would be thinking 'How can she say that and get away with it?'. It's the same in chat :-S

Lynda I also feel that not only new members popping in to have a look but also to members who still pay their fees who do not post or refuse to post anymore.
Not only the ones that cannot get out but others with problems or issues but use this board as a way out and get ridiculed for it....
Its such a shame

A disagreement and more happens on all boards and I believe them not to be as bad as they where years ago.....

No-one is going to agree all the time :-)

John you have a good point when you say.

"We have all got sensitive issues - me included. And we can assume on here that everyone knows we have been ill, are experiencing constant pain, have just split with our partner, have just lost a near and dear one. But very often they don't know. And isn't is better to assume they don't know your circumstances? We can also come to a conclusion (because of history, leopard never changes etc) that other poster is trying to have a go. Not always"

I joined GR in October last year to help me with my research into my family history. I looked into General Chat to see what it was all about. I was immediately made welcome by some very nice genuine people who have been so kind and helpful, I almost feel that I know them personally. I loved the humour and banter, and joining in with the discussions. However it all seemed to change in in my opinion.Threads would start and before you knew it arguments broke out, people were being RRD left right and centre (I did not know what this meant and had to ask, that turned put to be a funny thread) Some very nasty arguments have been aired on the threads, and I for one can not understand why anyone feels they need to add to the debate, I read them and obviously have my own views and opinions, but I do understand that some people feel that they have to defend their standpoint. I have to say their are some extremely intelligent people on here, and I have found them to be interesting and very informative. Some I have found to be argumentative and "picky". As RR said in an earlier post on this thread one would almost never find this mix of people in a room together, can you just imagine for a moment going to a social event and meeting some, I can tell you for sure I would be out of the door a bit sharpish. A media such as this can bring out good points and bad points in a persons character and they may not be anything like it in real life. I don't contribute to the threads as much as I did initially, partly because I have so much going on in my life at the moment, but also I honestly can't be fussed to do so. I appreciate that some for some people taking part in the General Chat is a good way of "meeting" and becoming involved with people, so for that reason long may it continue.

Sorry I do seem to ave rambled on rather............

PS I was RRD once for a very innocent comment, and to this day I have no idea why.


PPS As my old Grannie used to say "It takes all sorts, what a boring world it would be if we were all the same"

ooh I like puppets

Kitty your post at 10:40 sums it up :-D

Mersey, exactly what we were saying, some people who come on here, who can't get out much, if at all. must be awful to look in and see the threads, where all that happens is bickering, no point in it :-(

On a :-D note, I can't help but when I look at the title of this thread, I keep saying to myself...

"It's only a puppet"

Older people will understand that one :-D :-D :-D

Maybe some people assume too much about other people when it's best to leave things well alone.

I was listening to my favourite radio talk show host Jason Mohammad yesterday. He was handing over on Radio Wales about 1pm to the next host.

She said " Jason, you're looking brown" I waited with baited breath, particularly after this sensitive weekend on here and the fact that he has a Pakistani father. "Yes, I had a great holiday in Egypt" he replied.

We have all got sensitive issues - me included. And we can assume on here that everyone knows we have been ill, are experiencing constant pain, have just split with our partner, have just lost a near and dear one. But very often they don't know. And isn't is better to assume they don't know your circumstances? We can also come to a conclusion (because of history, leopard never changes etc) that other poster is trying to have a go. Not always :-)