General Chat

Him indoors and me have kind of drifted apart, do our own thing separate holidays, separate bedrooms etc, we still do a lot of things together.
Are we the only couple to live like this, we are both happy with the situation, however some people look at us as if we are freaks, so I just wondered how many other are the same.

Not freaks, ZZzzz!

Not going into details, but many are in the same circumstances, and by choice :-)

If it makes you happy then I guess it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. You are not freaks and as Allan says you are certainly not the only people who live in these circumstances.

not freaks at all - no way

my OH was in a choir and they were always on tour somewhere in the UK or across the world - I used to go on holidays with friends - we were as much in love when he died as we were when we first met

If the truth be told, probably a lot of couples have slipped into 'friendship' rather than 'lovers'. In some situations being joined at the hip can be claustrophobic.
The main thing is to have mutual respect and be there for each other when support is needed.

If you are both content, then ignore what other people might think or say. <3

It's nobody's business but yours (and OH's).

If you're happy, that's what counts.

I have seen the same thing happen to many of our friends, so you are not on your own and if this arrangement makes the two of you happy then ignore other folk.
Do your own thing and be happy together, life is too short to be otherwise.

My brother and sister in law have one holiday a year together - with sister in laws sister and her husband. Every other holiday they take separately. They also have totally different hobbies. They reckon that's how they've been happily married for 40 years!!
Any other 'arrangements' they have are their affair, but if it suits.....

I love living alone. It's my choice. When my marriage broke down, I could have remarried, but decided against it.
Doesn't make me a hermit, weird, anti-social, or anything else, just me.

Certain newspapers and other media are always harping on about people's way of life. They fail to read their own print (I don't blame them :-| ) and see how they contradict themselves. One minute you 'should' live this way, the next minute 'this' way is right. No way of living is 'right', only the one that is 'right' for you - as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else. :-D

Thank you everyone, I do feel better now I know we are not alone in our situation.
I'm not worried about what people think to much but my Sisters and Son don't speak to us anymore and Son did manage to send us a Christmas card but only had the address on the envelope so we recockon he doesn't see us as Mr and Mrs.

Hate sleeping in same room as OH, he snores (as do I) and suffers from restless leg syndrome.

We both get a peaceful nights sleep.

And I know other friends who also sleep apart, for pretty much the same reasons.

As long as you are both happy with your arrangements, it should not be anyone elses business. <3

We have had our own bedrooms since we got together, could never get a good night's sleep even in a kingsize, so it made sense. I know what you mean about people thinking these things odd, but some are far too judgemental and make quick assumptions. We love each other dearly and it doesn't mean we don't do a bit of bedhopping!

Some people also seem to forget that the rich always had seperate bedrooms, as does the Queen. ;-)

Zzzz - your son has the problem, not you!!
Quite frankly, son has left home, what you and OH do in YOUR house, how you live your lives has nothing to do with him!!

He needs to chill out and be a little bit more polite :-|

I just lurves it when I have the master bed to meself. I sleeps like a log :-D

I love my other half but we also live separate lives to a great extent. He started sleeping in the front bedroom after an operation and I was nervous of catching his operation site.
We havn't looked back since,he watches his telly and I watch mine , he stays up until late while I prefer a more civilised time to sleep.
Having five cats we can't get away together ( imagine the boarding fees) so I go off for a few days by myself,bliss,I can do what I want to do,he only wants to spend hours in his tin box on wheels aimlessly driving round,while I prefer to beachcomb,and see relatives
The arrangement suits us both fine,like I say to my kids,why sleep with a sweaty,windy hairy ar**d bloke when we rattle around in a big house?
You are not alone,I have even heard of happily married people who live in different houses,now there is a good idea. When we win the lottery. ;-) ;-) ;-)

Annina.
Like us we have separate Holidays, mine are mainly to do with family history staying with or meeting newly discovered family in Australia or USA. He mainly goes to Thailand and stays with friends, I can't go to Thailand because of the climate there but when I go away it is in the Autumn or winter of the country I visit. We share hobbies here still and get on great, but it is nice to know we are not alone.

Looking at it from another viewpoint, as parents we were not supposed to comment if our children were sleeping with someone they were not married to, however we felt about it, so why should they feel that they have the right to comment on our living arrangements.
We are both in our late 60s but have only been married for 5 years, the last 2 of which we have slept in different rooms, initially for health reasons, but we have very different sleep patterns anyway. I go to bed by 11 pm & am always up by 7am. He prefers to stay up until 1 or 2 am, then stay in bed until 8.30 or 9am.. It gives me chance to get housework out of the way uninterrupted.
He has his friends & hobbies & I have mine. Nothing wrong with that.