General Chat

I had made a home visit appointment for the chiropodist see too OH feet . I make the appointments as as when he thinks he needs her .

He gets up late as usual and and fusses around We need to do our chair based exercises too that we do on a sat and Tuesday.

I was up at 7.45 and showered and dressed by 9am . I needed to hoover the lounge but am conscious he gets uppity if I wake him with hoover. After he got up and had his brekkie ,still not able to hoover cos its a lounge diner ,I finally at 11.20 was able to start .

The appointment was for 11.45

Well I was able to get along well at 12.05 got a text saying running late will be there in 5 mins . OK fine. gave me a few more mins to finish .Saw the car outside some 10mins later and waited for the bell to ring as I put the hoover away

All went wrong the bell didnt ring but got a text saying missed you after I saw the car back away and drive off.

I immediately text we are IN

OH was furious .if looks could kill I would have dropped there and then . I said dont give me attitude sometimes things go wrong . WELL yes I was in the wrong cos I hoovered so must have missed the bell! !,,

Said FINE in future YOU make all the appointments . He replied sarcastically then you wont have anything to do !! he was so smug and sarcastic it sent me ballistic which I hate.

I do all the appointments for both of us . Plot them out on a calender in the kitchen so we dont miss them , Drive him to his appointments as well as going to mine that dont need a drive

I was so angry with him I am sorry to say I swore at him . Couldnt speak to him for yonks afterwards.

He will NEVER say he is sorry . doesnt believe in it told me that years ago , must think its a weakness to say sorry which is very hurtful.

I dont want any medals or anything, know with his condition doesnt help BUT sometimes I get so UP THERE I have problems holding myself in check

Got that orf my chest !! Still angry though with his attitude and how I could have clocked him one

Don't apologize for swearing at him.

Fred and I use some VERY rude words to each other. It is better than festering.

If he was a git before, whatever is wrong with him now will not have cured that and always remember that you didn't make him ill but you are supporting him.

Thanks Sharron you are so right .

Why is it that men are always right.....and find it extremely hard to say sorry?
Keep your chin up...we women are strong.
Only talking about this yesterday when I went to a carers drop in coffee morning.
Do you have a Carers Outreach or Carers UK group near you.?
I never knew about them until near the end of husbands life,but I went afterwards and have met a lot of people of like mind as lots don't really know what you're going through...unless you've been there.Made friends and helped me get a life again.
Best wishes
Brenda x

Thanks Brenda didn't know about those groups . Will take a look to see if we have one in the area .

Don't like leaving him in the house alone in case he falls. I only have one afternoon out every six weeks when I get my hair done .

We are members of our local carers group but I only use it as another place for Fred to go for the social bit.

The Christmas lunch is being held on 28th Feb this year. It used to be in December until the year the venue was closed by snow. In the summer we have a tea and there are some coach outings as well but we have only ever been on one of those.

If I didn't have Fred's wonderful, wonderful mate, I would be able to ask them for a bit of respite.

They know about what is available to you as well and they may know of things that can make your life easier..

Shirley I was the same as my Oh was on oxygen for 5 yrs.I got 2 hrs a week when a lady from Crossroads came and sat with him and made a drink and watched a DVD .

I got her through carers...they will tell you what's available.
As I said I wasn't able to go to the chat morning while he was alive,but they did point me in the right direction.I had a tag on my bag with details on,got a key safe so services could get in if he called careline.
Kept a list of all meds in a pot in fridge and they gave me a sticker to put on door and fridge..
I'd advise you to find out what is there for YOU....folk don't realise that the carer is under a lot of stress.
For Altzheimers I took a neighbour to a singing session of old tunes they knew...things out there we never think about....good luck x

How true, how invisible are carers?

Of course we are born knowing just what is available and need no support at all!

I think I managed to find two little leaflets in the rack at the hospital to prepare me for caring for Fred when he came home.

After a week at home a stroke nurse appeared. I have seen her once since.

After seven years I have a good idea of how to go about finding help now but I am marginally intelligent, younger than many carers, extremely bolshy and quite strong.

Every time I fight another battle to get things sorted out for Fred and me I tell myself I am doing it for all the other carers as well.

PS!!

The chiropodist was fine about it. she text-ed me back to say she was at her next appointment but would come back later which she did a 4.15.

I had to speak to him then as didnt want an atmosphere in the house .