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As it's Sunday - some church bulletins!!!

ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

AnnCardiff

AnnCardiff Report 9 Feb 2014 17:33

Church Ladies With Typewriters


They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins!


The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water. ‘The sermon tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.'
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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
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Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
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Next Thursday there will be try-outs for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
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Pot-luck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please use the back door.
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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
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And this one just about sums them all up:

The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday:'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.

'Emma'

'Emma' Report 9 Feb 2014 17:35

:-D :-D :-D....nice one Ann

MR_MAGOO

MR_MAGOO Report 9 Feb 2014 17:39

Nice one Ann but i have a feeling that it might go.......... :-( :-(

LondonBelle

LondonBelle Report 9 Feb 2014 17:39

:-D :-D :-D

AnninGlos

AnninGlos Report 9 Feb 2014 17:42

Love them all especially the low self esteem one. :-D :-D :-D

maggiewinchester

maggiewinchester Report 9 Feb 2014 18:17

:-D :-D :-D

PollyinBrum

PollyinBrum Report 9 Feb 2014 19:36

Sounds like the Church near to where I used to live. :-D :-)

Wend

Wend Report 9 Feb 2014 19:44

Brilliant Ann :-D :-D :-D

Florence61

Florence61 Report 9 Feb 2014 21:10

made my evening. Thanks Ann :-D :-D :-D

Allan

Allan Report 9 Feb 2014 21:18

Love them AnnC

And in real life OH's choir (Bunbury Catholic Diocese Liturgical Choir) had their first rehearsal of the year last week. Ever since the new cathedral has been built the choir has only sung there about five times, and has to practice at a local church.

When the conductor tackled the Bishop about the choir using the Cathedral, the Bishop's reply. "I see no point in the choir singing at the cathedral as we have all the liturgical music on CD" :-S :-S

I kid you not!

AnnCardiff

AnnCardiff Report 9 Feb 2014 21:33

pillock!!!!! :-D :-D :-D - the Bishop, not you Allan :-D

Allan

Allan Report 9 Feb 2014 21:52

That's the general consensus of all who meet him.

At a recent meeting of Bishops, also attended by some high placed Laity A letter was read out from the Pope in which he said that the Church should become more 'human' and have more interaction with the people.

Our Bishop's response.....no way!

kandj

kandj Report 9 Feb 2014 22:15

Funny and amusing postings AnnC, thanks.

JustJohn

JustJohn Report 10 Feb 2014 08:22

:-D :-D :-D @ AnnC

:-0 :-0 :-0 @ Bishop

Maryanna

Maryanna Report 10 Feb 2014 11:10

I like the Weight Watchers one Ann.

I think my Mother in Law may have typed some of those !!!!!

M. :-D