General Chat

:-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D to both Bobtanian

Man gives up sex for Golf!



A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes.



"Boy, I'd give anything to sink this putt," the golfer mumbles to himself.



Just then, a stranger walks up beside him and whispers, "Would you be willing to give up one-fourth of your sex life?"





Thinking the man is crazy and his answer will be meaningless, the golfer also feels that maybe this is a good omen, so he says, "Sure," and sinks the putt.




Two holes later, he mumbles to himself again, "Gee, I sure would like to get a birdie on this one."





The same stranger is at his side again and whispers, "Would it be worth giving up another fourth of your sex life?"




Shrugging, the golfer replies, "Okay." And he makes his birdie.




On the final hole, the golfer needs an eagle to win.





Without waiting for him to say anything, the stranger quickly moves to his side and says, "Would winning this match be worth giving up the rest of your sex life?"







"Definitely," the golfer replies, and he makes the eagle.





As the golfer is walking to the club house, the stranger walks alongside him and says, "I haven't really been fair with you because you don't know who I am. I am Satan, and from this day forward you will have no sex life."




"Nice to meet you, "the golfer replies, "I'm Father O'Malley."

:-D :-D :-D :-D Had to get in quick ( so to speak ) before it disappeared, good one.


F.

Bob - I'm glad I read it before it goes. ;-) ;-) ;-) :-D

GP

I give it less than 30 minutes

roflmto :-D

MY FIRST CONDOM

I recall my first time with a condom. I was 17. I went in to buy a packet of condoms at Erlichs Drugstore. In those days it took a lot of guts to go in a store and ask for that kind of item because everyone in town knew me and there was no doubt the young lady (I think her name was Delores) knew what they were for.

She was working as an assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was really embarrassed by the whole procedure. She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered, No, not really.

So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure.

Apparently I still looked confused. So, she looked all around the store to see if it were empty. It was. Just a minute, she said, and walked to the door and locked it. Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. Do these excite you? She asked.

Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was stand there with my mouth open and nod my head. She then said it was time to slip the condom on. As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and lay down on a desk. Well, come on, she said, We don't have much time.

So I climbed onto her. It was so wonderful that, unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and KAPOW, I was done within a few moments.

She looked at me with a bit of a frown. Did you put that condom on? She asked. I said, sure did, and held up my thumb to show her.

That's when she beat the crap out of me....

Women have always been hard for me to figure out.....

thought I would slip this one, in.............




The Buttocks


A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man's face was severely burned.
The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from his body
because he was too skinny.

So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the only skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come,from her buttocks.

The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honour their secret.

After all, this was a very delicate matter.
After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the man's new face.

He looked more handsome than he ever had before! All his friends and relatives just went on and on about his youthful looks!
One day, he was alone with his wife, and he was overcome with emotion at her sacrifice. He said, 'Dear,I just want to thank you for everything you did for me.

How can I possibly repay you?'

'My darling,' she replied,

'I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother




kiss you on the cheek.'

I don't understand why GR whooshed the thread.

Maybe it depends on who gets the report??

I thought there was a post by GR that there would be a "rule book"........ I guess the book went out the window.

:-P

Growing old..............dis....gracefully...... :-D :-D

We're both just old dogs Prickles :-D

We use the same groom PH........ :-D

Blimey Wend..........you and Mr Magoo have the same hair style!!

:-D :-D :-D

. . . and me hearing aids :-D

Got her teeth in though............ :-D

Don't tell me that you have forgotten to wear your Liberty Bodice. !!!!


F :-S :-S

No chance Mr. M. - I still have me winter drawers on in this weather ;-)

. . . and me vest :-D

Averts eyes...................mustn't look up at Wend & Ann just incase they are commando...... :-S :-S..... ;-)

ooooer ;-)

Perhaps it was the possibility of Lack of them, :-D as the RRer went Comando . :-D :-D :-D :-D

Knickers Bob - shock, horror :-0 :-0 :-0