General Chat

OH who has Lewy body dementia as well as Alzheimer which affects his memory for word recall, has been jogging along OK . he has a patch medication changed every 24hrs which is the only medication they have at the mo , it slows down brain cell loss

he has deteriorated the last 3 weeks quite noticibly . he was walking better but has slipped back to shuffling . this week he struggled to do his sport the ball on the football pools so much I had to tell the collector he cant do it any more.

He can talk to me in a few spontaneous replies but gets a few words in on something he wants to tell me and its gone . he finds it very frustrating .

I worry he is going to lose himself. I show him pictures on Facebook of his grrt grand children and he doesnt know who they are .

Many moons ago when he first knew he was having problems he cried when we were taliking and said please dont ever put me in ahome. I was honest as and said no way as long as i am here and can cope you wont be in a home I didnt want to make false promises because how can anyone predict what may need to be

I am finding his obvious deterioration hard to cope with on top of our 17 year old cat needing daily vet visits

Both of them are dearly loved and need my attention in different ways

Sadly . although we dont want to lose our little girl Mirabelle I find myself thinking OH needs me more and I am torn in my affections and priority's.

Perhaps he needs more stimulation,maybe take him out in the afternoon where its safe and you could pack a few sandwiches a flask and a rug ,or picnic chairs a nice change of scenery,where there are other people about.,,,,,incase you should need any on the spot help.

It works wonders than the hum drum each day much the same.maybe hes bored.?


Edit,,,,I do understand Shirley just didnt want to appear uncaring.....it may do you good to get out aswell.

My heart truly goes out to you Shirley. <3

I have worked for a good few years with AZ patients and watched my Grandad and then Mum go through the same thing as your husband.

My only comfort was that once they were deeper in the grip of this horrible disease, they became calmer, forgetting who everyone was seemed to give them a new outlook somehow.

Mum was fearful and tearful too at the beginning of the illness, she too begged not to go into a home. I told her she would always be somewhere she was safe, loved and looked after. She always was, even in the homes we were so fearful of placing her in for her own safety. and that enabled us, then just me, as almost always happens, to visit as frequently as possible.

As for your much loved cat, I understand that too, but having kept one dog longer than I should have as I couldn't bear the thought of losing her and being told by a vet I wasn't doing her any favours, I realised I was keeping her alive for our sake more than hers.

I'm not saying you are doing that, just giving my experience ..................I have never, since then, prolonged and animals illness just for the sake of a few more weeks, if they are unwell, they are not happy, the gift I could give them was a release from their suffering.



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Thinking of you Shirley <3

There's nothing much I can say but I do hope you are getting any help that is available to you Shirley, from social services and family.

Very difficult choice to make as regards your cat, it is so hard to let them go, but if the visits to the vet are daily, it may be that you have reached the point when there is little more you can do. If you run yourself into the ground it will not help anyone,

My best wishes to you, though that doesn't help.

Maybe you need some help with hubby now Shirley, my Daughter in law worked daily with a lady with Alzheimer, she was in her late 40's, her husband needed the respite from the daily traumas that occurred.

Don't be afraid to ask for help, often unless you ask, you don't get.

I really do feel for you :-(

Thanks Kitty

Our vet is very upfront in that she cant cure Mirabelle, but she can give her a fighting chance of having a good quality of life. most days she is ticking over and happy , she goes out ,grooms herself and eats OK

Her liver problems are giving other problems as the liver does keep the body on even keel , she is having problems pooping cos it gets too hard as her bowel isnt getting enough water to keep the stools soft . she is now too losing fur which is another side effect of liver disease


\Our vet will tell me when enough is enough I know .

Its all a bit much at the mo for me .I dont want to lose our little girl although I know its a short straw now .

Hubby though is more a long term worry on how he may be and if I lose him before he passes . he is my best friend ,we have been married now for 55 years plus

Thanks folks our postings crossed

ita all a bit of a worry on where to go or whether I really need it at this point in time :-(

Have you been in touch with Altzheimer groups ?or Carers outreach?

My friend dealt with her husband who had this and used to go to a weekly singing group who just sang old songs with a piano.It stimulated their memories.

He also had a one to one day with a lady who took him for lunch.and she had 6 hrs to do her own thing.

I was quite envious of her at the time as I was 24/7 only having 2 hrs a week and I couldn't go out at all as there was so much wrong with my oH ..

You may have all this covered...but if like me ,you never ask for anything you don't know what is available.

They want everyone to keep the elderly out of homes,but not always giving you the info on the help available.

I still meet up with other carers as we all had something in common and no one quite understands unless they've been there.

Thinking of you! Xx
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Shirley, please seek advise from his doctor,he can refer to the right people who are qualified to give both of you support.

My heart goes out to you Shirley. It is distressing seeing someone you dearly love deteriorating and you want to be there for them all the time. But if you are going to be able to support him in whatever the future brings for you, you need to take care of yourself as well. Do take any help that you can get, particularly any offers of respite care.

Brenda mentioned music. When my father was getting bad my brother made up several CDs of old songs and bits of music we knew Dad enjoyed in the past. Putting one of these CDs on when he was particularly difficult or distressed often calmed him and he would soon be singing along. Is there a Day Centre near you where he could join in something like this. Age UK run an excellent small centre near me..... perhaps ask them if there is something in your locality?

Thinking of you and sending you a cyber hug
Vera

http://alzheimers.org.uk/

Scroll down the page and on the right is a blue box Help in your Area

Enter your postcode and lots of local help agencies are shown.

The friendly site has so much information, factsheets, guidance, financial and practical advice and excellent forums where you can get support and advice from others who are going through similar things.

It was my absolute lifeline during Mum's illness <3

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Hello Shirley....do try and get help, there is help out there as Kitty and others have suggested.
Thinking of you, take care of you too....

jude xx

Thinking of you Shirley.

The best I can tell you is that Fred had a girlfriend with dementia.

We had to have her sectioned eventually, particularly after she took to roaming the roads.

The home she was sent to was full of relaxed people. There was no fighting or arguing and nobody was worried.

Thank you folks

Just got back to the thread and looking at the good advice

I am such an indendent girl I look after everyone else before myself and am backward in asking for help feeling I have to do it all myself

I will have to get myself over that otherwise I won't be doing hubby any favours if I break down . I do know that .

I will contact the altzeimer society .

Hubby goes once a week to a chair based exercise class arranged through the falls clinic ,this is a 12 week course and the second one he has been able to get on. I take the cat to the vet ,drop her off, then take hubby to the class where I stay for about a half hour ,I leave to go back to the vet to pick her up then drive back to pick up hubby so it's all here there and everywhere on the day

Hubby does enjoy the class although he struggles with his co ordination .

We only go out shopping on a Wed ,and he has been going to mass on a Sunday morning but hasn't managed that for the last 3 Sundays

It would do him good I think to get out more in a social setting where he could mix with people. He is a quiet man but he does look comfy with himself at the exercise group so maybe another group activity would be good for him.

Shirley I really do feel for you. Unless someone has been in the same position it's very difficult to know what to say,. There has been some helpful advice and suggestions for you to consider. I hope that things start to become easier for you.

Asking for help is definitely not a sign of weakness.