General Chat

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or can you help someone who is?

http://www.ageuk.org.uk/get-involved/loneliness/


Apparently many older people go a month without speaking to anyone.

It's sad isn't it Susan, it seems that there's a lot of people who say they haven't got time to just spare a few minutes to chat to someone. Most of us have got the time,we just get our priorities wrong.

A near neighbours husband is in hospital, they have 3 children all in there 40's, two live nearby, every time we see them, they go to great lengths to say why it is they can't get round to see her more often, all silly reasons, of course they can, what they really mean is, they can't be bothered.

Rule number one, look after your family, put them first, if they need help, help them, if they want your time, give it. It's a great feeling knowing you do your best

Do you listen to The Archers Susan, they have a plot going on at the moment about loneliness ?

I have it on the radio when travelling to training.


I put this up cos I was reading the Poppy thread and clicked on the link....then saw this link.................This is where I typed loads about the subject and decided to delete it all :-).....I am forever doing that :-)

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-27577143

I have been providing simple training for elderly people to give a basic understanding of computers and the internet and how they can be used as a communications tool.

Rather you than me E......I am afraid I lost patience with the old boy across the road when trying to explain to him how to use his all dancing all singing new TVs remote.....talk about confused......I wouldn't mind but I can just about understand my own :-D

I would be more useful just going round for a cuppa and talking about their lives...or doing stuff that needed doing.

Susan, I did this wonderful course a few years back, it was really for carers, but thought it looked so interesting I paid to do it. It was about how to listen and talk to the elderly. There was a wonderful film shown, with Virginia McKenna, who played the part of an elderly lady in care, who'd had a stroke, she was talked about rather than to. The poem was read while the film played, it showed her life, and how she had lived, she wasn't just an old lady, she was a person. If anyone gets the chance to see the short film, by Amanda Waring then please see it .

This is the poem.............

What Do You See?

What do you see, people, what do you see?
What are you thinking, when you look at me
A crabby old woman, not very wise.
Uncertain of habit, with far-away eyes,
Who dribbles her food and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice "I do wish you'd try!

Who seems not to notice the things that you do.
And forever is losing a stocking or shoe.
Who, unresisting or not; lets you do as you will.
With bathing and feeding, the long day to fill.
Is that what you're thinking, is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, you're not looking at me.

I'll tell you who I am as I sit here so still!
As I rise at your bidding, as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of 10 with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters, who loved one another.
A young girl of 16 with wings on her feet,
Dreaming that soon now a lover she'll meet.
A bride soon at 20 – my heart gives a leap,
Remembering the vows that I promised to keep.

At 25 now I have young of my own
Who need me to build a secure happy home.
A woman of 30, my young now grow fast,
Bound to each other with ties that should last.
At 40, my young sons have grown and are gone,
But my man's beside me to see I don't mourn.
At 50 once more babies play around my knee,
Again we know children, my loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me, my husband is dead,
I look at the future, I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing young of their own.
And I think of the years and the love that I've known.
I'm an old woman now and nature is cruel,
'Tis her jest to make old age look like a fool.
The body is crumbled, grace and vigor depart,
There is now a stone where I once had a heart.

But inside this old carcass, a young girl still dwells,
And now and again my battered heart swells.
I remember the joy, I remember the pain,
And I'm loving and living life over again.
I think of the years all too few – gone too fast,
And accept the stark fact that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people, open and see,
Not a crabby old woman, LOOK CLOSER, SEE ME.

It can sometimes be a little frustrating but generally I find it very rewarding and it depends on the way things are taught and demonstrated.
I try to turn it around so it doesn't appear that I am showing how to use a computer - I am demonstrating a different way to stay in touch and communicate.
I gave a talk the other day to a group which averaged about 70 years of age and have been asked to go back and do more - it isn't the technology that people are afraid of or do not understand, it is the way it is taught.

LYNDA
THATS PERFECT,

It's a great poem isn't it Dizzi, and sadly it's often true

so true Lynda ad Dizzi - a perfect summing up

On Genes, no one knows we are old unless we volunteer that information. Sometimes I see posts (Dizzi and AnnC are good examples often) and I think - she is youngish, she has some modern ideas.

And then poster says something like "I am in a wheelchair" "I remember in 1961......" and it rather breaks the illusion.

We probably are all still young in our head and our brain. Let's concentrate on the affirmities, and don't mess with....... :-) :-) ;-)

I would think that the majority of members on the Chat Board are retired - could be wrong - and as has been said, many are lonely. I live alone and can go days without speaking to anyone, but do not consider myself lonely - I have my car and can get about, and fortunately am fit and healthy, apart from clinical depression - which is no problem as medication takes care of that

Having lived alone for nearly twelve years since my husband died I am now used to it and would find it strange to share my home with someone else now - it's a way of life - but I do like coming on Genes - not only for my family tree and to help others - but to have a chat and hopefully have a laugh

Admittedly it upsets me greatly if anyone "has a go at me" and I do my utmost never to upset anyone

apart from my lovely son and daughter in law, I too have two extremely good long life friends and lovely neighbours - that makes a huge difference

I also live alone, the last time I actually spoke to someone, apart from a shop assistant, was over 4 weeks ago, however like AnnCardiff, I would not say that I am lonely. Having lived on my own now for nearly 6 years I have learned to enjoy my own company. In my teens and early 20's I was always a bit of a loner and I think that has helped me adjust to living on my own, the one thing I do miss is the company of my boxer dogs Buster & Braun - alas they passed away many moons ago.

When the weather is fine & I am feeling OK health wise, I do enjoy getting out and about on my mobility scooter, however when the weather or my health is playing up I am more or less housebound. At those times, apart from when I am watching my favourite TV programmes - I find Genes Reunited a good companion as I spend quite a bit of time on here working on my tree, I get quite engrossed in it and have been known to lose all track of time.

I also enjoy getting involved in discussions with others on issues that interest me, however, I find these days that I am becoming more and more reluctant to start a thread or post a comment, because of sardonic remarks, which have nothing to to with the subject under discussion, being posted on threads - do those who post these kind of comments not realise, that all they are doing is spoiling the boards for those who just want to have a reasonable discussion about an issue they are interested in.

OFITG, I think there are many people like you, who don't add as much as they used to. I find it childlike on here sometimes, some posts are embarrassing to read.

There are people who use the site who have hidden agendas, I assume they must be lonely and unhappy, and like to stir for there own amusement.

There are lots of people missing on the boards, who used to add some good threads, but those I know who have gone, have gone because of the pathetic posts that now seem to appear daily.

If only those who add threads to wind up would disappear, maybe some of the "good guys" would return?

I am not retired, I walk to work every day and see the same people, I smile and say Good Morning to them.

I work with the General Public, and I am more than willing to pass the time of day with some of them. Especially the Older People. I figure that maybe I will be the only person they speak to all day.

So, no matter how much the person behind is tutting and clucking, I will carry on the conversation.

There but for the grace of God...................

I am retired but do voluntary work in a charity shop, we have lots of older people come in just to browse and have a few minutes chat and sometimes I see the manager looking at me as if to say 'chatting again' but as MotownGal says I could be the only person that speaks to them that day.

Never hurts to be pleasant to people at least once a day. :-D (hopefully more)